Hi everyone;
Dena is absolutely correct. To tell my story - you can read my posts, but simply I transitioned to full time some 30 years ago, then after living full time for a number of years and on HRT for that period, I was forced thru economic circumstances to revert to my male self. I had though to be weaned off my HRT (It took a year slowly cycling down). Anyway about 6 years ago a crisis in my life brought back my urgent need to transition and as things went from bad to worse, I had a major breakout of dysphoria. I was spiralling out of control. To stop it my GP put me on a very low dose of Progynova after blood tests confirmed that I had very low T levels ( almost female levels). Over the last 3 years like all of you, the dire to be female seems to quieten down, but after a few months something will trigger another breakout and also as your body get used to the oestrogen (and for those of you on Progesterone, you will find that in order to gert back on an even keel you will need to increase your dosages as your Testosterone levels will climb again and te urges will be back. Its about trying to find what is a certain level.
Over the last 3.25 years, my Doctor has increased my Oestrogen only dosage effectively 8 times, although I started on very very low dosage. On my last dysphoria outbreak, my doctor said that another increase would put me basically onto a Transition dosage. The problem is that this level has robbed me of much of my former self "drive" as I feel very submissive and not so interested any longer in any masculine work focus. I would much rather spend the day in the beauty salon than pursuing my career. Mind you hormonally now my T levels are only 0.5 and my oestrogen over 250 - so my doctor tells me I am hormonally now female. Also it now very difficult to pass as male even if I wanted to. Male trousers don't fit as my buttocks are too rounded and project outwards with rounded curves. Over the last 2-3 years when I found myself basically transitioning too quickly and losing my "masculine business drive and focus, I slipped my dosage back, but the dysphoria breakout gets more often, so it really does eventually push you into the transition phase. "I suppose in reality, the HRT changes one's perspective on life. As a Hormonally female I now have different needs and wishes. I would like to be married to a nice man and to be looked after and cherished, letting my partner fulfil my past role, so that I can focus on their well being.
Judith