Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

What was your best friends reaction when you told them you were trans

Started by stephaniec, May 08, 2016, 02:12:30 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

julia64

I just told one of my best friends last night and his reaction was good.  He said I will always have his friendship, love and support but he is ignorant to all this (not in a bad way), so doesn't really know how to react.  He did say that I need to do what is right for me and that is it.  Overall a very good reaction, he is just concerned for me and wants to make sure I am making the right decisions whatever they might be. 
  •  

Tessa James

I am fortunate to have a passel of best friends and their reactions varied, often by the length of time they knew me.  Some of my oldest friends were the least accepting initially but most are supportive now.  Some were angry that I did not tell them sooner or first.  I tied to assure them it was not a trust issue with them but a long term denial I had to beat.  Some warned me I would be an ugly woman after being a good looking guy.  Many more reasonably expressed a sense of loss for their better known "Jim."  I felt that i had gradually become more androgynous over a life time with occasional fall backs and attempts to be a guy and I was a bit surprised that most did not see it coming.  Of course there were those who said they weren't surprise, that it "made sense now" or that they always suspected it too.  My friends who are gay often called me "girl" anyway.  One said; "OK get in the kitchen and make me something to eat"  "lets go shopping"  "whats next with you then?"

I lost very few really genuine friends and gained many more.  My friends are my intentional family and i cherish them.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
  •  

chrissydr

Didn't really have any friends until I came out, as I just kept to myself as fear of people finding out. My ex was good at keeping me scared. but the person who is now the closet thing I have to a best friend went, "ok, so what do we do now, cause you're going to need boobs, if you wanna play as Harley for Halloween." and that was it.

Most people just tell me they are proud of me and that they support me. Doersn't stop the fear but it can help

I dunno... I was normal, throughout my life, until I turned 4 and realised that I shouldn't be called a he.
  •  

kiwidownunder

Told my best friends of 20 years a week ago.
Friends wife told my wife to leave me!
Friend text me 2 days later a said he was so angry and that I am going lose a lot of people in my life.
So not a good out come so far .
Wish me luck its my family next.

Kiwi
  •  

stephaniec

good luck, sorry to hear that. When I transitioned I had no one so no one could reject me
  •  

Paige

Quote from: kiwidownunder on June 02, 2016, 06:37:51 PM
Told my best friends of 20 years a week ago.
Friends wife told my wife to leave me!
Friend text me 2 days later a said he was so angry and that I am going lose a lot of people in my life.
So not a good out come so far .
Wish me luck its my family next.

Kiwi

I'm so sorry you had this experience.  You really don't know who your real friends are until you go through difficult times.  It's experiences like yours that I could easily see happening to me.  Too often I think people are your friends because of what you can do for them.  If they feel that isn't true anymore, they dump you.  On the other hand, as many of the posters to this thread have shown there are some really genuine people out there that truly care.

Good luck with your family.
Paige :)

  •  

Laura_Squirrel

Both of my so-called "best friends to the end" ditched me. Meh. Screw'em.
  •  

Eleonore

I can't be happier than I'm about the reaction of my best two friends... they were just extremly happy, that I wasn't ill or something like that, and since they know I have a big support by them, especially my bff is supporting me extremly by let me be myself when we meet... I hope they will continue now, when I start HRT, but I don't have any doubts about that...

My wife's reaction wasn't that cool... even if she told me first "babe, I love you - doesn't matter what happens", she changed here opinion after some weeks, and I do not believe it's going to end nice :(
  •  

Sharon Anne McC

A thought came to mind reading and re-reading: has anyone you know made their coming out to you? - not someone you know from the lgbt group - someone you had no suspicion or expectation - someone who knew nothing of you but thought you are a good friend.
*

1956:  Birth (AMAB)
1974-1985:  Transition (core transition:  1977-1985)
1977:  Enrolled in Stanford University Medical Center's 'Gender Dysphoria Program'
1978:  First transition medical appointment
1978:  Corresponded with Janus Information Facility (Galveston)
1978:  Changed my SSA file to Sharon / female
1979:  First psychological evaluation - passed
1979:  Began ERT (Norinyl, DES, Premarin, estradiol, progesterone)
1980:  Arizona affirmed me legally as Sharon / female
1980:  MVD changed my licence to Sharon / female
1980:  First bank account as Sharon / female
1982:  Inter-sex exploratory:  diagnosed Inter-sex (genetically female)
1983:  Inter-sex corrective surgery
1984:  Full-blown 'male fail' phase
1985:  Transition complete to female full-time forever
2015:  Awakening from self-imposed deep stealth and isolation
2015 - 2016:  Chettawut Clinic - patient companion and revision
Today:  Happy!
Future:  I wanna return to Bangkok with other Thai experience friends

*
  •  

Tessa James

Years ago when I was doing one to one, sit down and come out sessions I experienced a lovely phenomena.  It seems many of us have private secrets.  When I shared my story and, exposed my vulnerability, many people reciprocated and shared their very private truth as well. 

Now, working with our local and regional trans support groups, I have been honored with hearing many fresh coming out stories.  It seems that there are more of us than we might guess.   :D
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
  •  

stephaniec

the first person I told who I consider a friend just said that's cool.
  •  

alex82

Just told another friend, he's quite laid back anyway, a bit alternative. His response was ''great, when can I f- you?''. It made me laugh. So he said ''no, I'm not joking''. We'll see.

And he signed off with 'do whatever makes you happy x'
  •  

roseyfox

well my current boy friend who was my bff was actually born a girl. we first became friends in 2nd grade and always been friends about 2 years ago he told me he was trans. I was so stunned then i told him that i was. So it was a relatively meh but kinda exiting moment we understood each other a lot more at that point.
I rather not
  •