My wife bailed after 20 years because we never had kids. We never had kids because 'to me, for me', being dad was like branding male on my forehead. I got so I really couldn't have sex because it caused panic attacks. Why, because women don't have sex with their penis. I picked up the disturbing habit of burning male anatomical parts with cigarettes, referring to my AR15 as my Curt Cobain gun, you get the picture. That was after 15 years of massive repression to be a 'normal' good husband. following out for years in the 90s. I knew 30 years ago really, but I never believed a linebacker (with good hair) could pull it off, but I would never admit that to myself. I realized I was going to die for my denial.

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on June 11, 2016, 05:17:45 AM
Yes, but the OP could be genderfluid or nonbinary or both, which would impact what sort of path forward, socially and possibly medically, that they want to pursue.

Genderfluid individuals have gender identities that are unstable over their lifetime. Over a period of months or years they may shift between genders. They may experience dysphoria while one gender, but none while another. Nonbinary individuals don't identify exclusively as any one gender or may identify as agender. They may experience dysphoria which may be relieved by medical intervention, or they may not.

The OP may be genderfluid, based on their initial comments. It will take a lot of thought and insight on their part to know that for certain, however.

And this is really my point.  In my local support group, we have several individuals who identify at genderfluid and we support them like any other trans person there.  We just shift pronouns a little.  They do not identify as CIS, or as strictly binary, but have a shifting expression.  Two are on HRT, one FTM the other MTF.  In any case, they transition to where they find comfort and stop.

They question their gender the same as any of us, but simply have a more complicated answer (relatively).

For many years I identified as gender neutral, non-conforming or fluid.  My friends from my original HRT days still consider me to be pretty fluid in presentation, but recognize that I am pretty much a girly girl in a tomboy body