Hi everyone.. I posted my first thread a few days ago so anyone who doesn't know, im Mackenzie. 23 years old.. Female to male transgender.. alright anyways.. I am struggling pretty severely with coming out to my parents. Everyone else around me knows except my parents.. Well and my grandparents and aunts and uncles but that's not whats important right now. My girlfriend, my kids, my close friends, my boss, coworkers, even my siblings and cousins know and ive been supported 100% by everyone! I should throw in that me and my parents have a pretty ->-bleeped-<-ty relationship. well more so me and my mother than my father. I haven't spoken to my parents in over a year now. Which is nothing new. But for some reason. no matter how much wrong doing has been done, I still feel as I should respect them as my parents. And when I say that I mean this.. As a parent myself.. I would want my kids to come to me and tell me themselves. Even tho I would support them no matter what, I would still be devastated if I fouind out my child was transitioning through a rumor or through the grapevine. So I want my parents to find out from ME. Not other people or social media etc.. Ive talked to my therapist and she had me write a letter to them. And for the past 2 weeks I just stare at it. My therapist even told me that I am an adult now. and this is my life.. But for some reason I cant let go of the fear of rejection from my parents even tho much of me has been rejected or put down. I want their acceptance but I know for a fact that I will not get it from them.. And I also don't want to break their hearts. Especially my dad. because all my life, im his one "daughter" as he knows. and to him no matter the hardships, ive allways been "daddys little girl".. as he thought. And my little brother told me that my dad is pretty stuck on your the gender you were born with kind of mind set as discussions came up with all the recent news in the lgbtq community.. But anyways. I know I have to come out to my parents soon if I want them to find out from me. I started testosterone 5 days ago.. And I know the longer I procrastinate.. the more people are going to see me and the changes.. and the more likely it will get back to my parents before I tell them. I know what I have to do.. I gues im kinda just writing this to get a little more support.. Ive read some awful stories of tothers coming out to their parents.. and I have a feeling mine isn't going to go so smooth either.. I just am stuck in my fears about mailing this letter.. I cant seem to grow the balls (no pun intended) to just mail it. I know once I mail it my anxiety will b at an all time high waiting for a response IF I even get one. Idk... I just don't know what to do. Im so torn.

Mailing would be hellish especially if it got lost in the mail.

In your position I would be inclined to hand deliver the letter and ask them to read it all before responding.
Take 2 copies so they can read simultaneously.

Then wait and watch them as they read it...

After that you've done all you can and the rest good or bad is up to them.

My folks are divorced. I told my mom in person, in public. I was positive that she would be accepting, but I didn't want her to ask anything too personal about it. But then I remembered that my mom has no boundaries, so I ended up answering really personal questions over pizza. No issues there.

I was worried about my dad and stepmom. They are both conservative and religious. I was a lesbian prior to coming out, and they had never been very thrilled with that but had finally gotten okay with just letting it be what it was. I wasn't sure they would understand, agree, or support me being trans and wanting to transition. So I did as much as I could before hand to make sure that they would see how serious I was about it - I talked to multiple therapists, I made an appointment to start T, I mapped out my intended medical transition and made a list of online resources. Then I wrote them a letter explaining everything. My intention was to go over, hang out, give them the letter, and then leave. I usually go over there to visit on weekends, so I figured I'd give them time to process and if they didn't want me to come back again, they would have a week to let me know.

But I got crazy nervous about it about midway through the visit, and my dad could tell that something was wrong. He asked me what was up, I started crying, and we had a conversation about everything. He was surprisingly supportive. Told me he didn't understand it, but would do whatever I needed him to do to make it happen. Stepmom agreed.

I think writing a letter is a good move, but I think it should be more for yourself, in order to gather your thoughts and lay out how to present it to other people in a way that will make sense. I don't know that I would just mail something off and wait.