Ok I did it. I went and saw Dr. Deschamps-Braly with my husband and had a really good consult.
It was kind of weird at first. We walked in and he kind of started talking very nonchalantly / casually and it kind of caught us off guard.....but after a bit it kinda grew on both my husband and I. The Doctor basically feels very confident in what he does.
He asked me what I did for a living and at some point actually asked when I first had transgender feelings (not in those words) and I told him 4th grade. Later, my husband and I commented on the fact that he asked that....kinda odd but at the same time, while FFS doesn't require the same things that SRS does, changing your face is still a very drastic thing to do....so if he ever got a patient who was ever 'unsure' about things, he would be less inclined to do surgery on them for fear of them changing their mind later.
I guess I was mostly surprised he asked me because my paperwork lists all the surgeries I've had already and dates.....and so with 6 years behind me, I haven't been asked something like that in a while....then again with both breast augmentation and hair transplants, I never did 'come out' or tell the surgeon directly that I was trans (even tho I listed previous surgeries and medications).
He showed us a huge presentation about skull differences between female and male and the different types of fixes for changing them, etc. He talked about his mentor/partner a lot as well, Dr. O: He did his first FFS in like 1982 or so.
Anyway, he showed us a ton of before and after results for both his partner and his own patients and we discussed what I was looking for. I mentioned my forehead and nose as primary things but also that i had a 'weak' chin as a secondary thing. He agreed with me on all of those things. He mentioned lip length from nose to lip and he guessed what mine was and what Tom's was and he later measured and had guessed pretty accurately. My VFFS consult had already cautioned against any lip lift because I already do show a lot of teeth with mouth slightly ajar so lifting the lip further could potentially give me a more 'gummy' smile. Without telling the doctor this, he basically said the same thing.
We talked about noses and he said the best thing was to bring in pictures of what noses I liked and that gave him a good idea of what I wanted. Again his confidence in being able to do just about anything for noses felt like a good thing.
He did talk about more chin and jaw stuff and I mentioned that I could most likely not afford it this round and I was afraid of doing too much all at once as well. So they prepared 2 separate quotes for me, one with forehead and nose and one that included chin as well. As I had guessed, the chin addition was going to be too much for me to afford to be able to do it this year....while the forehead and nose alone was right on par with what i can afford by November. That plus the cost of hotel and flights and all that of course.
They took us into a room where he measured different parts of my face and recorded them oh and they took pictures as well (before pictures). He answered all of my questions very well and the only thing I was surprised about was where the scar was going to be....apparently putting the scar back behind the hairline (where it's well hidden) means my forehead could potentially be longer than it is now when in fact we want it to be the same or slightly shorter. So most likely he will have to put the scar right at the hairline in front.....so it will show for a while and within a few months the redness of it will go away....till then I'll have to try to cover it with concealer or something. Not excited about that. =/
He also confirmed that top of the head does go numb for 1-2 yrs. That will be very uncomfortable and annoying. I asked about washing and brushing hair with that condition and he said it was usually fine ....but more likely being careful getting out of cars and such.....so as not to bang your head because you wouldn't even know you hurt yourself.
He said no working out for 6 weeks but that I could start walking right away within the first day and something about patients doing a lot of walking really helped things along, he said from experience.
We talked dates and how long I'd have to be in town etc. Basically I'd arrive on Monday, have pre-op appointment. Surgery is going to be Thur. Stay over night in the hospital one night (or more if needed, but 1 night is usually enough) then go to hotel for the weekend. Have a post-op appointment on the next Monday where they take the packing out of my nose (which will be a huge relief) and then stay in town till that next Friday, and that's when they take the 'cast' off and stitches out I guess. Then can go home that day. So it's basically a 2 week thing.
So yesterday I scheduled for Thursday, November 3, 2016. The basic schedule is I will fly down Oct 31st, have pre-op that day and then hang out in town till the 3rd. In the hospital over night and go back to the hotel on Friday. Get packing out of nose and such on the following Monday then stay in town for another week and fly home after getting cast off on that Friday.
I confirmed with work that I will be able to take the month of November off so that will be helpful. I have enough accrued sick and vacation time to do so.
Basic operation will include :
- Type III Forehead reconstruction (includes: scalp advance and brow lift as appropriate. He said they kind of happen on their own when you reconstruct the bone area)
- Rhinoplasty - I already started coming up with pictures of 'cute' feminine noses so we'll be talking about that at some point and going over what's possible and what will work with my face too.
Pricing totaled out at $28k...if I wanted to add the chin in it would have been $42k.
If this goes well then maybe in a few years I'll consider some chin work and maybe 'more' tracheal shave then as well since my original tracheal shave kind of still shows a lot of adam's apple now (20lbs lighter than when I got it with vaginoplasty).
So I'm excited! I will need to start looking at flights and AirBNB / hotels. It looks like AirBNB may have some good options for the area for both distance and price (compared to actual hotels).
