Before I go, a morsel for thought........
"God favors the bigger battalions"---Voltaire
God cares not for human history. We do that ourselves, whatever name we march to. Faith is about the individual and infinity. I have no say in your conversation (or lack of) with God. It is easy to not believe (there are alot of facts, but all the facts in the world do not add up to truth). Believe me, as a thinking animal, I have been through all of that. I am no longer a Christian, but I am not an athiest.
Do not watch the talking heads on TV or listen to college professors and judgemental Christians and say "what fools these ignorant Christians". They don't matter. We all die, that's what this is all about, anyways...what happens when I, (your name here), pass from this Earth? Only you can answer that question.
It is not fear of punishment. It is a need springing from deep inside that there is a reason for our suffering. And a happy ending to this roller coaster story called the human life, however long it may be.
Me, personally...despite all the great minds of religion, philosophy, literature and science that I encountered and read and studied...in the end, only I can figure that out. And I have no idea. It's a big Universe.
Do not judge others. Each of us will be judged in the end anyways...I still think, and wonder. Dogma, religious or scientific, cannot prevent the human mind from thinking. We were made to think. But I also choose to believe, as Einstein said, "just in case"
Legum servi sumus ut liberi esse possimus