Okay, I'm not asking for anyone's time here, which seems kind of against the point of this post because I'm writing this big long thing, but over these past few months to a year I've noticed myself progressively coming back to this site less and less. And while I do have these issues on what I believe my gender is, I often find there are bigger things in my life that I worry about more-so than my gender and sexuality. It often gets to the point where I even forget what it is I identify as, because I don't want to identify as anything, because I feel it just weighs me down to think of myself as "oh, I'm a boy" or "oh, I'm a girl" or "oh, i'm neither" or "oh, i'm somewhere in between the two". And yes, I feel like if I identified as androgyne or agender, that's still a way to identify, and I don't want that, simply because should the topic come up I'd have to explain what it is and get called "crazy", or get treated like I'm some sort of sub-human. And when I lurk and browse through these posts, there's just simply nothing that I can do to relate with these people, simply because although I have felt what some of these people felt before - and trust me, it still comes up every here and there - I just feel apathetic towards myself as a female, or male, or something different. I'm not attacking anyone, nor am I trying to say that these conditions don't exist - they obviously do - what I am trying to say is that there just simply isn't enough for me to empathize/sympathize and correctly communicate on this website. Obviously I wish everyone here well on their travels and I hope that they successfully go through with what it is that makes these people happy, but I just can't say I feel the same way and resonate with these people. When I first joined this website, I was so caught up with what I wanted to call myself that I forgot what I truly wanted to pursue in life - rock bands and race car driving - and I completely forgot about other aspects of life and totally focused on this thing that I probably would benefit from just forgetting about, for my mental health and future. Now anyone could say "Well you could be a race car driver and play in a rock band and all that and still be what it is and whatever" but you know what that's money going to hormones and surgery when I could be spending it on car parts and funding the equipment for a band should I choose to start one. And I know it can be said that I don't have to go through the hormones and surgery, but to be honest it just doesn't help because at the end of the day I still have this facial hair growing and I'm still freakishly big to the point where I just look freaky if I tried dressing up or whatever. And I feel guilty, because I'm trying so hard to fit in here and make friends on this site and so far it's been for naught, because I haven't found a place on this site where I can easily drop in to. I also feel guilty because of some unrelated things that I've been feeling, however that's totally unrelated whatsoever even though it's related to sexuality and whatever, and I want to post to talk about it but I feel like if I do it might offend someone or anger someone to the point where it just didn't even help me at all. Whatever, TL;DR: I want to focus more on my career future and less on what it is I want to carry myself out as. I also want to post more about how I feel about some other things but I feel like it doesn't fit here.

Not everybody who comes to this site need to or is ready to address gender issues. If that is the case for you, there is nothing wrong with stepping back and living life. The only warning I will give you is to be careful about having somebody else in your life unless you are sure what your future path will be. I have seen far to many couples on this site who's relationship has been destroyed as the result of not facing the the truth and then reaching the point where gender issues could no longer be suppressed. A secondary consideration which affects only you is I have heard so many times "if I had only done this when I was younger".

I was aware of this in my teens and I picked a path in life where I transitioned as soon as it was possible. Do I have regrets? Yes, it would have been nice to have a family but had I given into that desire, I would have caused so much harm.

The decision is your and not mine but you are now aware of what the future could hold.

The thing is, I don't believe it's healthy to just focus on one thing (be it sexuality/gender/etc). It's good to have other interests/goals, as gender can't be everything. If it was, then there would be no point in dealing with gender because then what would one have to live for after?
I knew at 17 that I had gender stuff to deal with, but wanted to focus on graduation, getting a license/car, a promotion in my job, and moving out. Those things were more important than gender. Now at 22, I don't have a license/car and still live with my parents. I was promoted, but lost that job after 3 years. I need to deal with my gender before I can move forward because my dysphoria and mental health caught up to me and became too much. I'm here because I can't put it off anymore. If you can progress and start a band or race cars, then great. Do that first and come back later. Just keep in mind that it can build up, and dealing with gender stuff might eventually become unavoidable.
On the note of you want to post stuff but never feel like it will fit or be "on topic", just post in the "General Discussions" area and see what happens. If some get "offended" or "angered", try to focus on positive comments. No one can please everyone. As for feeling like you are trying to fit in/make friends and not succeeding, lots of people feel that way at times. Just keep in mind there are lots of people out there and just like in real life relationships, everything takes time. And at least from your past posts, I think you fit in here perfectly fine.
I wish you the best with your goals in life, and if you want to, keep posting.

I felt something kinda like this once. Instead of going to forums like these, try talking to individual friends, about everything. People who will listen. My bf is also gender-questionable, and it's a relief to talk to someone who has a little experience with trans issues