Let me explain a little history on the subject when we got together she knew I was trans (outed by co-worker) but it didn't matter cut to a year later and suddenly my GRS was an issue she wanted all of me so I took surgery off the table and that's were I left it (and I was okay with that) plus I wasn't even close to affording it.  I love her more than anything and I don't want to screw anything up.  just forgot to mention i have been full time almost 8 years


   My wife 2 weeks ago dropped a bombshell on me she said that she wanted me to move forward with GRS.  Which I think most would be elated and I am but I am very overwhelmed I don't want to want it again.  So she made me so happy when she brought it up and her reasoning is that it would be safer for me in the long run traveling and Dr.s visits etc...  I never talk about being trans and instances were it has to come up makes me cry a lot and a ton of anxiety because I don't want anyone to know.  So I started looking at therapy again and letters and costs and travel all associated with transition and its overwhelming  and with our finances it would probably take years to sort out costs and Doctors but talking about it again is something I am having a hard time doing. Plus I have been out of the community for a long time and its hard to look at info on the subject, some kind of mental block.
I told her I would think about it but I am not sure what to do or think? Plus I have no close friends to talk to.  I do apologize if this comes off trans-phobic or  offensive but its how I feel personally and any thoughts would be welcome

Thank you Alice

Surgery is a very personal decision and only one you can make. My decision was made after over 2 years of cross living and was based off the though that I would never want to go back to the old life and the last two years where a huge improvement. You will find others on the site who have decided they are find without surgery and the changes they have made to there life are enough. Ask yourself what are the advantages and disadvantages to surgery. The answers to that may be the answers to your question.

Alice, you need to do what works for you, but the good news is that there are beginning to be more options and insurances covering SRS. It's true that it adds up cost wise but if all you need the therapy for is the letters it shouldn't take long to get those in place. Different surgeons don't even require electro anymore so in some cases the worst of the cost is the SRS and the related travel related expenses. As Dena stated, it is a person decision and yours to make and not anyone else. Hugs
Mariah

Thank you Dena and Mariah for your reply's, sorry i did not get back earlier its been a crazy week. so a quick update my old therapist has agreed to see me again so maybe i can get my 1st letter from her and the good news aperantly my insurance covers 100 percent of my visits and no co pays which is a huge help.  So a odd question she is an LCSW that wouldn't be a problem as far as the surgery letter will it? I haven't made a decision as far as if I will do surgery it is highly personal and maybe therapy will help. my next road block is I hate talking about being trans and wish I didn't  have to but I need to suck it up  I guess,  Thank you two for taking the time to respond to me it has really helped because I have been feeling a bit lost I have a lot of big decisions to make and I can be a bit obsessive.

I hope all is well
Alice

Hi,

I do not know where you live or the requirements there. I am going to Dr. McGinn and you can go on their web-site and read the letter requirements. I had a LCSW and my doctor (also an independent LCSW at where my doctor is located) sign letters for my GCS which s scheduled in November.

GCS is a personal decision and not all trans want or need GCS in order to feel complete.  Going to a gender therapist and discussing the issue can be a great help in figuring out what you need to do.

Hi Rachel Lynn i live close to Chicago i looked at Dr. McGinn site  i need to compile a list of Dr.s my first appt is on Thursday at 2 pm which is with my therapist  which is freaking me out a bit but i hope it all goes well thank you for the reassurance on the LCSW i wasn't sure how that would go over  i also looked at support groups in my area but sadly couldn't find any, plus im not sure im ready to go back to those anyway but they did help.

I do think it would help me feel complete because i abhor down stairs i guess my struggle is how long i would have to work to achieve this goal, plus i worry it will change the dynamic of the marriage but this is my spouses idea so maybe that's a bit delusional.

Thank you
Alice

I want to PM some of you but i have been trying to figure it out but it wont let me? Does anyone know how? When i click the profiles it says i do not have permission to access profiles?

Thank you
Alice

The links I gave you in your initial post will explain it in more detail. Until you reach 15 post your account is restricted. After that most restrictions will be lifted. If we suspect you are attempting to pad your post count, we will place restrictions on you again.

thank you ill look at those links

alice