I finally came out to my best friend. The strange thing is that.. I only intended on saying crossdresser.. but when I actually started typing the words..

-- sidebar -- my bff of 6 years and I have been in a weird fight for about 4 months, and haven't talked much, and I've tried to bring up this.. uhm.. thing for like 2 years.. and during our current fight I kept bringing up this thing I needed to tell her.. and she finally called me out and said I didn't trust her because I kept bringing this thing up and not saying anything else.. so I started talking...

And once I said them out loud, it was a.. I don't know how to describe it because.. it felt.. right.. I went into how I've always felt.. drawn to more feminine things, ever since I was a child, and how once I started experimenting I became frustrated with how clothing and other things don't fit or look right.. but I still love the textures and feel.. but, in all honesty.. I don't know where this is heading, I don't know where I want to go with this or who I want to be, me, mostly.

I don't know..

--developing--

It's ok to not be sure about some things.  It sounds like you did a great job telling your friend how you feel.  Hopefully she'll  recognize how hard it is for you to deal with and be considerate.  But, either way, just keep it up, be honest about your feelings, and always love and accept yourself.

She called me a girl today. I didn't notice at first, but when it hit me I just felt good from the inside out.

"You called me a girl," I said.

"You are a girl. Chemically." She said.

As you seem to be exploring yourself, you may want to look at "the transition channel" . This explores transsexualism and will give you some more questions to think about.