Hello everyone.  I am Kelly.  I have been lurking around here for a while.  When I finally created an account, I thought I should introduce myself.

Growing up I was always overcome with this feeling that I was wrong somehow.  I was happiest as a child playing with my female cousins.  During family get togethers I felt most comfortable with the women.  My mother and grandmother were teaching me to cross stitch until my grandfather stopped them.  He thought I should be outside working on the tractors with my brother.  That one hurt because I really enjoyed cross stitching, and I loved the time spent with my mother and grandmother.  And, that was when I figured out I had to hide who I really am, man up and act like society expects me to act.

Now I am a 37 year old electrician, married, and living in the south east US.  My life is not bad, but I know I am deeply unhappy.  As hard as I try to "man up", I can't stop the waves of dysphoria I experience.  Somedays are better then others, but every day has at least one moment. 

This post is the first time I have ever acknowledged what is going on with me.  The first time I have ever introduced myself as Kelly.  I can't even begin to describe the contentment I feel simply typing that.  I am Kelly.

Quote from: K3lly on August 05, 2016, 11:44:47 AM
Hello everyone.  I am Kelly.  I have been lurking around here for a while.  When I finally created an account, I thought I should introduce myself.

Growing up I was always overcome with this feeling that I was wrong somehow.  I was happiest as a child playing with my female cousins.  During family get togethers I felt most comfortable with the women.  My mother and grandmother were teaching me to cross stitch until my grandfather stopped them.  He thought I should be outside working on the tractors with my brother.  That one hurt because I really enjoyed cross stitching, and I loved the time spent with my mother and grandmother.  And, that was when I figured out I had to hide who I really am, man up and act like society expects me to act.

Now I am a 37 year old electrician, married, and living in the south east US.  My life is not bad, but I know I am deeply unhappy.  As hard as I try to "man up", I can't stop the waves of dysphoria I experience.  Somedays are better then others, but every day has at least one moment. 

This post is the first time I have ever acknowledged what is going on with me.  The first time I have ever introduced myself as Kelly.  I can't even begin to describe the contentment I feel simply typing that.  I am Kelly.

Don't you feel liberated. Like giant weight has been lifted from your shoulders? Good luck with your quest to find yourself. It's a quest I have been on for 65 years. But about 4 -5 months ago I came to Susans site and have learned so much. This is a great source because you know everyone here is or has been in the same position as you are. Until four months ago, I thought, although not alone, I was sure I would not find many in the same circumstance. Then I see the kids and their successes and wished all this was available in 1980 and I was not embarrassed to be truthful to the therapist. I may have fulfilled the dream much sooner.

Hi Kelly 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

Hi Kelly welcome with us
Catherine

DawnOday, V M, and Catherine thank you for the warm welcome.  I am looking forward to getting to know you all better.

Hi Kelly,
Welcome. I am also rather new here and have found the forum to be incredibly helpful. It's amazing to be around others that understand.
Hugs,
Heather