Hi, I'm Chris from Sweden and joined today. 48YO, 16mts on HRT, 2 Step FFS, pre op for GRA and BA.
When I think about that question I would always have said: "No way folks, I am what I am". I'm passing quite well, but looking back to all the struggle that I had and still have, It's worth to discuss. I sometimes feel like a restless hunter for feminity, fearing that I will always be a 3rd class girl with a quite female face (at least with some make up) but a doorkeeper's back. Endless time at the voice training and still I feel it's so hard to learn all that stuff that natural girls learn from childhood on, the walking, the moving of the hands, the gestures, the style , the choice of fashion, make-up in all variations, making the hair, the way of flattering, the solidarity among girls, all that stuff.
I don't want to go back to a male's life since this is - in my point of view - so limited. But I'm not proud to be trans, my transition was more some kind of emergency action since I had the choice between making that transition or killing myself. I would prefer a brain surgery that gives me full consciousness about the fact that I always have been a CIS-girl. Life would be so much easier.