I have been with my significant other for about a year after he had let me know he was a MTF transgender. He had opened up about it after a conversation about our future and engagement. Once he had told me, both sat down to discuss what he would be comfortable doing; transition, or wait until we had moved out of state since we live in a very heavy religiously tight state. Once he had decided he'd like to transition, I had support him fully, since I was pansexual and my family knew I wasn't afraid of being open with them about it. Once everything was set in motion, me helping purchase clothes under the rouse that they were for me, it finally begin to set in that the person I was with for so long couldn't completely be themselves with me. My one biggest worry is, once he begins the transition, he feels like a new person and would like to experience life like they should have and leaves. I'm happy with whatever I need to do, but the worrying pit in my stomach has not stopped since he told me, and I haven't really eaten or slept. I've even started smoking after almost 6 months of being free of it. Is the stress unwarranted? All I want is to have him be happy, and to feel comfortable in his skin. What happens once HRT starts, and will I lose the person I fell in love with after the struggle? (Yes he is still okay with he/him until he begins HRT)

Welcome to Susan's Place. This is a difficult question to answer because the transition will make us more pleasant people  to be around but it will not change our sexual preference or how we care for another. The big problem with what I just said is people sometimes lie about what they are or they don't know themselves. The forum are covered with stories of people who have remained together and of people who have separated because of the non transitioning SO couldn't deal with it. There are a small number of stories about people who weren't truthful. For now you would be best to take him at his word and possibly attend some joint therapy sessions where you can talk this out. As you are willing to stay in the relationship, the odds are very good that you will remain together.

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Quote from: EndlessAbyyss on August 06, 2016, 10:31:19 PM
My one biggest worry is, once he begins the transition, he feels like a new person and would like to experience life like they should have and leaves. I'm happy with whatever I need to do, but the worrying pit in my stomach has not stopped since he told me, and I haven't really eaten or slept. I've even started smoking after almost 6 months of being free of it. Is the stress unwarranted? All I want is to have him be happy, and to feel comfortable in his skin. What happens once HRT starts, and will I lose the person I fell in love with after the struggle? (Yes he is still okay with he/him until he begins HRT)

I honestly fear that as well...but I have come to realize we are on this crazy emotional journey together and I am honored that she chose me to accompany her on this path...no one knows what the future holds...live in the moment...one day at a time...support and love your partner...no matter where the road leads. No relationship is ever guaranteed, the person you fell in love with is still there...they are just able to truly be themselves with you finally...and thats a good thing...just breathe...relax...you've got this!!
But please remember to take care of yourself...you need to sleep and eat...even though its hard to...It is a worry

Quote from: EndlessAbyyss on August 06, 2016, 10:31:19 PM
I have been with my significant other for about a year after he had let me know he was a MTF transgender. He had opened up about it after a conversation about our future and engagement. Once he had told me, both sat down to discuss what he would be comfortable doing; transition, or wait until we had moved out of state since we live in a very heavy religiously tight state. Once he had decided he'd like to transition, I had support him fully, since I was pansexual and my family knew I wasn't afraid of being open with them about it. Once everything was set in motion, me helping purchase clothes under the rouse that they were for me, it finally begin to set in that the person I was with for so long couldn't completely be themselves with me. My one biggest worry is, once he begins the transition, he feels like a new person and would like to experience life like they should have and leaves. I'm happy with whatever I need to do, but the worrying pit in my stomach has not stopped since he told me, and I haven't really eaten or slept. I've even started smoking after almost 6 months of being free of it. Is the stress unwarranted? All I want is to have him be happy, and to feel comfortable in his skin. What happens once HRT starts, and will I lose the person I fell in love with after the struggle? (Yes he is still okay with he/him until he begins HRT)

HI,
I am sorry, I am really late to responding to your post:)
firstly I feel for you as well, please remember to look after yourself by completing the basic core needs that your body needs, eat, sleep and soul time.
I have learnt the best way to deal with things...and my journey with my SO started 10 months ago is to not worry to much, I realise this is hard to do. But allot of things in life never actually happen, so live in the moment, live for today and give your partner as much support as possible...whilst not forgetting yourself.
Thinking of you Marie