One of the things that makes my relationship with my wife is we have not had sexual relations in 25 years due to health problems. It didn't seem to be bad thing at the time because I only had a five year life prognosis. But it did drive home that how you feel about yourself, Do you love yourself enough to risk everything? I found that I did. Lo and behold all my loved ones have had nothing but support. My wife is kind of in one of those don't ask, don't tell moods but she knew I crossdressed in the first three months of our relationship. I have been dressing at least twice a week for nearly 40 years. I did put it out of my head while raising the kids after moving to Washington, it wasn't bad because it brought out the nurture side of me.   I can't describe the calmness and how carefree I feel when dressed. I just can't bring myself to take it outdoors and into the public. I already feel a huge burden has been lifted. I'm praying for reincarnation and coming back as a real woman due to chromosomes not the medical malpractice of prescribing DES while in utero. If I come back as a man, I will make the transition much earlier in life. Either way I will be the person I was always meant to be. It is ultimately your life to live, if loved ones want to come along leave a seat on the bus. Otherwise you're on a time schedule and cannot wait for someone to make up their mind.