16-17 August
It is ten pm at night and I'm I'm my hospital bed. I've been here since last Thursday. First my foot went with cellulitis and when that was being looked at I was found to be anaemic.
Oh no I've joined the bloodless horde! Or maybe some of the more insulting emails I get as Admin were correct; I am a soulless ghoul!
Not to worry, I had two packs of red cells and felt a new woman. The foot was an indication of infection and with no immune response I've been filled with costly antibiotics to fight off anything. My nurses dress in gowns and masks and we tell dirty jokes to each other. They have been wonderful, not only looking after me medically but also joking in with my weird humour. Then again we may as well keep laughing as there is very little dignity when you are bent over a bucket heaving up mucus that has the consistency of treacle.
So, radiation has burnt my throat to a point where I cannot swallow, I try to keep swallowing so the muscles don't atrophy, today I managed some weetbix and some ice cream. Feeding is through my PEG. My neck is raw from front to back and continually oozes blood and lymph fluid.
My pain is managed on endone at the moment and I'm coping with that.
Good news: I got my calculations wrong, I have four more radio sessions left! One more chemo that may start tomorrow if my haematology and renal function can cope. It will be done as an in patient. I'm told my throat damage should not get much worse and I can still talk, or rather whisper. So on my calculations I'm winning.
Best of all, I'm happy, I'm determined and I shall win.
Cindy