So as i have posted on here i now have went to my therapist twice as of today i have been living as myself for like 8 years and not a lot of dramas but the prospect of surgery and having to involve more people in my life for letters and hormones  has been to much of an idea to bear i just talked 2 times to a therapist that  i'm comfortable with who helped me at the start and has always been helpful and positive.  im thinking of just quitting because i don't want to talk about being trans to anyone and i cant stop crying... you ever feel like you just want to give up and stay were you are? even though you know you need to push through i would love to hear your stories.  on why you stopped or pushed through

Thank you
Alice

Hi Alice,

I really want to be myself and I feel I have not arrived at my destination.

I like my therapist and she definitely provides me with insight and help in dealing with my transition. She provided me with a letter. My PCP is at a center that treats thousands of trans and he is awesome. I had a LCSW there help me with a letter for my PCP to sign. I go to group there too and have made friends. We have presented a work shop two years  in a row at a trans conference. I work with trans kids, young, and it has been very rewarding.

I really do not like being trans, yet I am proud of becoming myself and what I have accomplished. I have seen a lot not survive, it is very sad. HIV, drugs and alcohol, suicide, being killed for their money and harassment, street work, homelessness and physical harm. This is something no one would wish upon themselves.

When I put on a great outfit for work think I feel good. Sometimes I think is what I am about to do worth it? I think I am doing ok and is the pain associated with what I am about to do more than the increased feeling of acceptance I will feel? I remember how each step felt great, after settling in, and that the next step I really want to blend in better and I think, it will feel awesome after I settle in.

I am really lucky. I have had my share of loss but I am really lucky.

Well....I can relate to the crying over talking about it, although not sure if it's because of the same reasons. The more I talked about it, the more I got comfortable with it. Now it's not a big deal with me.