The title pretty much explains it all. I'm very early in my transtion (at that weird stage where I'm out of the closet to a few people but stuck back in there in certain situations) and some of the people I'm out to are very close to me (my partner, certain members of my family). My partner and my mom want me to conform to cisgender norms during certain occasions and I'm not sure if I can handle it any more. Tomorrow is the wedding of a very close friend of my partner's. He is part of the wedding party and has a high reputation in the city, being a local celebrity. He wants me to wear a dress, make-up and get my hair "done up all nice". My mom is meeting me half-way by helping me get it cut shorter (not too short though cause my face is too round to pull off the shorter look), but ironically she's been even less supportive of me in all this. My partner keeps going back and forth to being supportive, then telling me to keep my trans identity to myself. I don't know how I'm gonna get through it tomorrow without having a break down. We've gotta be ready to go around 12:30 and there's the reception later too. The fact that I have eczema on my chest and that the bras I'm forced to wear literally put me in pain doesn't help the situation either. I could really use some advice on some coping methods for this kind of situation.

Sorry to hear this; I had to go to a wedding almost 2 years ago when I wasn't out yet and it sucked. But the time will go by quicker than you think; I promise you that. To help me feel more comfortable I had my hair cut short to medium length (kind of like zac Efron's) which was a good inbetween of not too fem or masculine. I then used hair wax to make it more manly. This may also help to give you ideas http://www.fashionbeans.com/2014/mens-long-hairstyle-trends/. I find this website great for hair style options.

As for clothes maybe you could compromise by wearing an androgynous shirt. I wore a short sleeve white one with black buttons; again a good inbetween although not the most fashionable. I also wore bkack jeans; black shoes and a red bomber jacket which sorta worked. Maybe you could try the two spirts bra method (wear a bra in your size then one a size smaller back to front other it).

I was completely nervous going to it (a few glasses of wine helped ) and anxious; but I tried simply breathing in and out and reminding myself that in a year I'll finally be my true self; this is just a slight bump in the road and is only temporary.

Btw; lots of guys like wearing dresses and still look masculine and handsome. Iggy Pop and Eddie Izzard for example.

Thanks for the link Elis. I ended up getting my hair cut just like that (not too long or short). I'm not sure if that bra method would work for me cause I have a busty chest. I'm nervous thinking about tomorrow but I'm trying to remind myself that it's just one day. It feels good to talk to other people that have been through this. And I'm sure some wine will help.  On the bright side I'm on a waiting-list to start seeing someone at a Trans Health Clinic so I'll be on my way to being myself full-time... although slowly, because social anxiety keeps me worried about what everyone else thinks.