Quote from: Rachel Lynn on August 03, 2016, 08:03:48 PM
So last week I had my evaluation. I actually got graded on how well executed my coming out and transition at work went, huuuuum. Then he says you know it is really tough to think of you as female when I hear you on the phone. Followed by, I personally disagree with your transition but I am glad it is working out for you. Besides this in meetings he now interrupts and finished my thoughts for me. Then there is the look which means I am too emotional and calm down. That is his sign he told me he would use, "to help me".

Sounds like a sexist pig taking out his unresolved issues around femininity on you. If I were you I'd befriend the company nutcracker and take some tips on how to bust his without getting yourself fired.

Quote from: Dena on August 26, 2016, 08:10:05 PM
A bad manager stays on top by keeping people with less skill under them and promotions are not as likely.

I see you've met my bosses.

Thank you AnxietyDisorder3r for your support.

I finished all my pre-surgery tests as of this morning for BA, GCS and FFS.

I meet with Dr. Mc Ginn at Papillion this afternoon (4th time)\

and am scheduled for a BA and GCS 11/15/2016 She redid the genital exam and went over all the issues that can happen. I have micro penis and not much scrotal tissue for the graph. She explained that the graph could die and that it must be done in two phases. She said she though she could do the operation successfully. My BA will be 550 cc over the muscle round silicone. Dr. McGinn said after the hospital stay I could stay at home after the GCS and BA. I live pretty close to Papillion.

I do not now if she says the graph may die to everyone. Initially I thought it was aimed at me but later I think it is just what she says to all patients.

I have a semi-formal to go to for work at the Curtis Center mid October. I got a purple dress which I like and will wear. I will be 1 month post op from FFS. This is my first dress and I am a bit nervous. I asked one guy today at work to be my guest and was rejected . I will ask another tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my last day for hormones for 20 days. I have FFS on 9/16.  I am more anxious about being off HRT right now than FFS but I am sure that will change.

I finally finished this entire post; laughed, cried, but am so very, very, very happy and excited for you. You have a super busy next couple of months ahead, stay healthy and happy. I have yet to begin my journey but we are the same age and this thread has helped so much. I wish I lived closer to be your date, just to show everyone you can date a hot "guy". All the best.

Quote from: Rachel Lynn on September 01, 2016, 08:25:28 PM

Tomorrow is my last day for hormones for 20 days. I have FFS on 9/16.  I am more anxious about being off HRT right now than FFS but I am sure that will change.

Rachel,
   You are lucky, I had to be off for six weeks, 4 weeks before and 2 after. Best thing is not to think about it. Focus on how great you will look after FFS. I have your date on my calendar.
Moni

m1anderson, thank you for your support and thanks I really appreciate what you said about the date
Monica, thank you for all your support. I will need to focus on the end of the 20th day . I really hope I look good.

I asked another guy to go with me to the semi-formal and he said he could not and pointed to his wedding ring. We talk every day and he knows it would be as friends. So, I will go alone. There will be a full table of people I work with every day that I will sit with so it will be ok.

Tonight is my last does of HRT for 20 days.  There was no group last night due to not having a LCSW available as a moderator. I have to pick up my daughter next Thursday at the airport so I will miss next week and the next two weeks too. I really enjoy group and find it valuable as a transition resource.

I am really looking forward to FFS; it comes at a cost. My daughter and wife (ex-wife) will not be seen with me in public. This really will be a life altering procedure.

I wonder why you have to stop hormones prior to surgery. Some surgeons make you stop T prior to surgery. (Mine didn't. Nothing happened.) If your endocrine levels are normal what flipping difference does it make that your hormones are exogenous?

Here's hoping you make it through three weeks (yikes) of wonky hormones okay.

Hi Anxietydisorder3r, thank you for your support.

When I originally was going for an orchi Dr. McGinn said I could remain on hormones. When I switched to GCS she said I had to stop E 2 weeks before and spiro the day before GCS. She said it is due to how invasive the procedure is. I also think it is surgeon specific. Dr. Spiegel for FFS wants all hormones stopped 2 weeks before FFS.

I had wondered what would happen when I went off hormones and I will now find out. Next week I am off aspirin. I have been taking that since my 20's due to family history, but then again addiction had a lot to play with that.

My surgeon told me to stop E six weeks before the op.  As that was just over six weeks before I had to come off E cold turkey.  Menopause, with hot flushes etc., was never on my agenda!  I think the reasoning is that the E can increase the risk of blood clots.

Exactly Mary, they are worried about blood clots. If I use McGinn, I'm glad to hear she doesn't require that long.
Moni

Hi Mary and Monica, thank you for your support. How long after stopping E and spiro did you get hot flashes? Also at what point did T start producing? Thank you Oh, Mary you look wonderful in your avatar.

A week from tomorrow I fly to Boston. Next Wednesday I have a pre-op consult with Dr. Spiegel. I have been on the net looking (obsessing) on before and after stories and videos. I guess it will be what it will be. When I sat in front of him at the consult I asked him what was a reasonable expectation of the outcome. He said he would make me look beautiful. I thought immediately beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. My goal is to look female so when I am in public I do not get sir (which hurts) and people I know have an easier time using my name ( I want to scream, that is not my name, when they use my dead name by mistake). I am excited.

They don't use spiro here as the doctors believe it reduces breast growth.  I was taking Decapeptyl by injection every 12 weeks, so the only instruction there was - if you are due one don't have it.  I wasn't due one.  I'm not sure, but I think it was a week or two after stopping E that I really noticed the hot flashes.

The only surgery I have had was what our hospitals call Gender Confirmation.  I'm not planning anything else.  I have no obvious Adam's apple and my jaw is a bit heavy for a woman but not obviously male.

I do really like that photo of me!  It was earlier this year and I have to admit it was a professional photo shoot with the attention of a professional MTF makeup artist.

Rachel,
   I would estimate within two weeks of stopping and two weeks after restarting was when the hot flashes started. About a month in, I really started to see the effects of T, the evil drug.  I just started progesterone last week so I'm not sure how that fits into the mix yet. It does seem to have kick started the boobs a bit. I lost size in that area being off my meds for 6 weeks. Will be thinking about you Rachel.
Moni

Hi Monica and Mary, thank you for your support.

Tomorrow I have a meeting at work with 20 or so supervisors and managers from the different departments. I will explain what is happening over the next several months, FFS, BA and GCS. My supervisor set up the meeting. I guess HR and my boss will be present. There is no agenda and I really dislike meetings with no agenda. I will go as deep as they want about the procedures if they ask questions. I suspect there will be no questions. The meeting could be really short.

The FFS is approaching. less than 8 days from now the procedures will be done and I will be in the healing phase. I am nervous and excited. The 21st I will be back on HRT .

Congratulations.  Also, 4600 posts!  amazing.

Hi Steph and thank you for your support. 4600 posts, I was a moderator for a while. I did not put enough time in and was fired. It was either that or I forgot to make Cindy and Susan coffee and cookies too many times. All kidding aside, I learned a lot and tried to help people the best I could. I was fortunate for the opportunity and experience.

We had the transition team meeting today and all went well. I gave a lot of detail about the pending FFS procedure. When I was asked if there was anything I needed going forward, I responded I need help with the insurance. I explained FFS (not covered by insurance) cost then the BA and GCS costs and that I need pre-approval for the BA and GCS so I can plan hair replacement and then voice. I will get some help I explained that with the divorce, support and transition costs I am selling off a lot of my possessions and borrowing to afford FFS and pay for the BA and GCS.

So I will be packing this weekend for Boston on Tuesday. This is where there is no way back and only forward; it is getting very real. I am excited and hoping for the best

Rachel,

At the risk of being presumptuous, having read this thread several times beginning to end, I feel like I have come to know you.

This thread is at minimum instructive, at times genuinely inspirational.  You are a credit to us all, represent the struggle with a sense of purpose and nobility.  As a real-life chronicle of the process of MTF transition and the struggles leading to it, you have helped countless reader of this site with this thread and your countless posts to it.  This thread has about 79K reads!  You should seriously consider editing the substance of this thread into a book, seek a publisher.

Thanks for your example and strength of will.

Steph

Hi Steph, thank you for the kind words and support.

I am keep this thread for several reasons. First, I came here when I was suicidal and the men and woman here held me tight; when I fell and they picked me up. Second, the blog feature was locked. Third, if it stopped abruptly there would be a record somewhere of the struggle and perhaps understanding to answer the question why. Fourth, to help others and show them someone's path and the obstacles. Most importantly, this is me and I share this because it helps me. It is me in my on-line community. I  would never share this with a cis person that has no reference and would critique me, they could never understand.

Six days until FFS. I am really excited. I was not allowing myself to see and feel the positives of what the future several weeks will provide me until this morning. I was doing things mechanically until now. I need to do my laundry today and start packing. I was thinking about the trip and then I started thinking what outfits I will take and I started to smile.

What if it works out really well

I had a morning erection this morning when I awoke. This is a race to get back on HRT.

Point well taken about the problem of the cis reader.  That said, I doubt you would have a cis readership if this were published and it would offer your experience to still others who would benefit from your example. Just a thought.

Susan's Place is a unique community and resource.  I am indebted to  the members who lifted me out of the pit in several times of despair.  It was your example and the help of others that led me to seek therapy which I began last week.

I am sure this will predictably work really well for you.  You will thrive and deserve in every way to thrive.

Think of the cis-gender men who would read your last comment bemoaning the presence of a morning erection!