I often hear transgender people saying, "No one would would ever WANT to be trans."
I wonder? Hmmmmm.
Perhaps that's because of a lack of information.  Maybe a lot of people just simply don't know where to begin, or how to go about it.
Perhaps what's needed is a proper pamphlet, or a "HOW TO" guide, if you will, titled "How to Become Trans."

So I started noodling it over and here's what I have so far:

1. Repeat the mantra, "I want to feel like a fun, fierce female," as often as possible. Not sure what the men's version is.  Since I am not a man.

2. Wear lots of clothes that are flouncy, frilly, flowy, slinky and sheer.  Pro tip: always wear a bra. You don't want to end up getting arrested.  Keep asking yourself, 'Dear God. Why on earth would anyone ever want to wear male clothes?' This one applies to the ladies only.

3. Online bra shopping: 2 words. Early and often!!!

Maybe I could get some help with ideas from other trans people on this project?  Perhaps such a publication could become an important outreach tool in the future.

I don't think it's possible to will yourself to be trans unless we change the commonly understood meaning of the word.

Other than that, #1 applies to me.  The other two do not.  I like wearing jeans and a t shirt.  I think I'm weird by trans standards.

Agree with Ms. Deborah. What people mean when they say no one would want to be trans, is that no one would want to put up with all the baggage that comes from being trans - having to have others validate your identity, having to navigate coming out, working with an often incompetent medical community, not to mention the increased rates of harassment and violence.

I don't think a "how to" list is needed. People get the gist of what transition entails, and they go to community spaces like this to nail down the specifics that apply to them when it comes to things like make up and clothing choices.

Quote from: Jane Emily on September 11, 2016, 08:36:53 PM
I often hear transgender people saying, "No one would would ever WANT to be trans."
I wonder? Hmmmmm.
Perhaps that's because of a lack of information.  Maybe a lot of people just simply don't know where to begin, or how to go about it.
Perhaps what's needed is a proper pamphlet, or a "HOW TO" guide, if you will, titled "How to Become Trans."

So I started noodling it over and here's what I have so far:

1. Repeat the mantra, "I want to feel like a fun, fierce female," as often as possible. Not sure what the men's version is.  Since I am not a man.

2. Wear lots of clothes that are flouncy, frilly, flowy, slinky and sheer.  Pro tip: always wear a bra. You don't want to end up getting arrested.  Keep asking yourself, 'Dear God. Why on earth would anyone ever want to wear male clothes?' This one applies to the ladies only.

3. Online bra shopping: 2 words. Early and often!!!

Maybe I could get some help with ideas from other trans people on this project?  Perhaps such a publication could become an important outreach tool in the future.

You only hear some of the people saying that. For me, discovering that I'm transgender has been a gift.

Hugs, Devlyn

You cannot will yourself to be trans, I spent enough time trying to be male, and it never worked, the same goes for the rest of us and the FtMs.
And if you wher cis and fully contempt with yourself why would you want this often harsh and cruel path?

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 11, 2016, 08:55:41 PM
You only hear some of the people saying that. For me, discovering that I'm transgender has been a gift.

Hugs, Devlyn

I must agree since coming to terms with myself  when i,m really myself ....i feel this serenity  come over me  and i have developed this kind of mona lisa smile  that goes with it  i,m so thankful its given me such inner peace

Quote from: ChristineRachel on September 11, 2016, 11:41:08 PM
You cannot will yourself to be trans, I spent enough time trying to be male, and it never worked, the same goes for the rest of us and the FtMs.
And if you wher cis and fully contempt with yourself why would you want this often harsh and cruel path?

So true i know whats ahead and i often wonder wtf am pursuing  this for ....the pain , the  ignorant people , and coming out , all the things  and privileges  that cis people have  will have to be fought for ...all over again

Maybe a list of how to discover if you are trans?   If folks are right about  the underlying biological origin, there really isn't a "become" involved.    Rather, an accept or reject, discover or ignore.

Quote from: markie on September 12, 2016, 07:23:18 AM
So true i know whats ahead and i often wonder wtf am pursuing  this for ....the pain , the  ignorant people , and coming out , all the things  and privileges  that cis people have  will have to be fought for ...all over again

Just keep in my how you felt and thought before you accepted the truth and began to make room for it in your life.   That's usually more than enough to take the strength out of any doubt for me.

Quote from: rwOnnaDesuKa on September 12, 2016, 07:27:28 AM
Just keep in my how you felt and thought before you accepted the truth and began to make room for it in your life.   That's usually more than enough to take the strength out of any doubt for me.

Good advise and accurate too : )

I fought it for decades and tried to make it go away.  That almost killed me in the long run.  Then I accepted the inevitable and the darkness faded away to light.

Here's a tip I found out yesterday.

Don't apply make up on your bed.

For the love of god don't let make up powder get into the sheets.

Or you'll end up like me, looking fab but unable to breathe.



Blown up sinuses, headache, watery eyes, inability to sleep! Massive allergic reaction. So much so I didn't have the strength to register with the new doctor, which would have been my first step to a medical transition. 

Again, my motto, as in my profile, is:

"Just do it."

barbie~

Think of it. Why are we seeking to pass when what we really want is acceptance? I know I will never pass. Started too late in life. But I can be respected for my decision. I'm not out to find a sweaty boyfriend or a kinky female. In fact my wife is fairly normal. But I know hormone therapy is the right thing for me. Already they have mellowed out my thoughts from an angry old man, to a woman with a future. In fact what would make my day is that everyone I passed on the street would say "hello, how's your day going?'  And that 800 lb gorilla? It's back in the jungle living a happy life, just like me.

Quote from: Jane Emily on September 11, 2016, 08:36:53 PM
I often hear transgender people saying, "No one would would ever WANT to be trans."
I wonder? Hmmmmm.
Perhaps that's because of a lack of information.  Maybe a lot of people just simply don't know where to begin, or how to go about it.
Perhaps what's needed is a proper pamphlet, or a "HOW TO" guide, if you will, titled "How to Become Trans."

It's not a lack of info, being trans is the pits. I mean what sane person is going to sign up for it willingly? Or perhaps you are really thinking "How to Be Trans" or "How To Transition"?

QuoteSo I started noodling it over and here's what I have so far:

1. Repeat the mantra, "I want to feel like a fun, fierce female," as often as possible. Not sure what the men's version is.  Since I am not a man.

I don't need to chant a mantra, I'm already well aware of who and what I am..

Quote2. Wear lots of clothes that are flouncy, frilly, flowy, slinky and sheer.  Pro tip: always wear a bra. You don't want to end up getting arrested.  Keep asking yourself, 'Dear God. Why on earth would anyone ever want to wear male clothes?' This one applies to the ladies only.

Ummm... What? Are you really going to enforce this patriarchal crap? Women can wear whatever they like.

Quote3. Online bra shopping: 2 words. Early and often!!!

I'd rather buy them in person, then I can get proper measurements done and ensure I get a bra that fits correctly.. If I had $1 for every woman I see walking around in a badly fitted bra, I'd be on a beach somewhere with an adult beverage - not here.

QuoteMaybe I could get some help with ideas from other trans people on this project?  Perhaps such a publication could become an important outreach tool in the future.

I'll refer you to my first comment.. IF your How To guide was about Transition or similar, then maybe it would be a good idea. But I cannot support the idea that you can make yourself trans.

Quote from: kelly_aus on September 12, 2016, 03:32:13 PM
I'll refer you to my first comment.. IF your How To guide was about Transition or similar, then maybe it would be a good idea. But I cannot support the idea that you can make yourself trans.

Made me think of something funny... wouldn't it be funny if "trans" became trendy enough where some insecure cis folks rebelliously decided to be trans, and then realize, 'dang, there might be something physical involved here afterall' when that first load of HRT makes itself felt.... and they feel like they've just been hit by a train?

Ok, maybe not funny, but perhaps educational.

It would be poetic justice.

I am going to go with Jane Emily on this. Yes, I hear and agree with the absurdity of it all and had I a choice in the matter in the first place I would have sought a boring simpler life......but I had an absolutely wonderful day today and loved every bit of being me. Today was as good or better than any regular "guy day" that I can remember and I would not have gotten a chance to experience it had I not been trans. I am not sure about the marketing strategy but I believe that being transgender could help an awful lot of people get out of some boring nasty ruts and truly experience the joys that life offers.

And sorry Deborah, you are probably a lot wiser than I and have a lot more experience in all of this, but I just can't do the jeans and t'shirt thing. I went hiking in the mountains today in a long denim skirt, pull over top and yes, even wedge sandals...what can I say?

- Anne

Yeah, I'm not sure about the clothes thing with me either.  That's another thing I have asked my new therapist to unscrew in my soup sandwich mind.

but ain't it great to have a choice on the clothes thing. Even my son admitted today that his only choices were really boring!

Anne