Hello,

I know i have been away for a few weeks.. there are a few reasons for this, one of the most important is i finally have my own house (the other i hid in books the Dark Carpathian series).. woohoo its a two bedroom unit and its a very quiet area. it took me ages to look around and find one. i had this whole thing neatly planned in my head, please bare with me, things are always clearly and better written in my mind then when i start writing it down. i thought having my own place would help with my Gender Dysphoria and give me room to cope, reach my goals and be myself.. but it didn't take me long to realize this is not soo...i am not out to my family yet, and soo once i had moved in and since, i would be dressed and being my real self and then get a call saying family would be visiting and then having to rush to my room and remove the makeup and cloths... hop in the shower quickly and get dressed in my male clothes (which feels wrong and feeling failure at faking it and lacking courage). it didn't take long to be frustrating, the need to be myself when not at work is becoming more and more paramount.. i am struggling being stuck in "two worlds" and the depression hits hard at times. i am here on earth by two reasons only, one my kids and two i made a promise to my sister and friend to not give up. and it also had been a few weeks and i only got to see my therapist last week wednesday (on my bday ) and told her about the new place and the struggles i have been having and she gave me some advice

but before i go too far can some one please answer these questions...

1.) i am need of starting hair removal, i am considering a mixture of laser and electrolysis. for those who have researched this.. which type of laser is better at this? (i have olive skin and fairly darkish and brown easily in the sun, i have been envied for my tan in winter but its my natural skin colour) you will be saving me hours of trying to understand the technology completely and a place to start looking.

2.) i live in melbourne Victoria Australia, can anyone recommend good LBGT groups or organisations to contact? i would like to meet others who are going thru this and hopefully make friends.

3.) also where do people get their seamless sports bras from? I would like to get a few for when i Start HRT. i would like to be hidden for a bit till i ready to come out at work.

4.) any good places in melbourne vic for voice therapy?


my therapist advised me to contact these LBGT groups and to meet others going thru change and talk to them and make friends. because when my family and children desert me when they find out i am going to need a new family and friends.. but its hard for me to make friends, see i grew up during the Angolan War (lets leave politics out of this) and i grew up in Berg Aukas Namibia and only really had people in their 20s to talk to and soo learned quickly and was able to talk to them.. after sometime we moved to Grootfontein Namibia and i went to an Afrikaans school there i couldn't socialise with people my age, i was just too far ahead of them in that area and couldn't connect to them. not to mention i was beginning to realize how different i really was to everyone else. before then it never mattered to me, i had no problem playing with my toys or my sisters.. i never considered myself male, just me we both ( i have 2 older sisters and one younger)played with each others toys. i was always a gentle and curious person and was interested and wanted to investigate the world with no fear what so ever. during that year i became fluent in afrikaans and could only speak it at home with a spattering of english. my parents became concerned and organised to send me and my sisters to boarding school in windhoek. i was excited because i would be staying in the same dormitory as them but i became very upset when they told me no i would be staying with in the boys dormitory.. both are on the same grounds, but with some encouragement i calmed down, i was seven at the time

the next bit is hard for me and took me years to come to terms with and i am i uncertain of revealing this...

the first few months were ok, and i made a friend called stephen and went on holidays on to his families farm.. we were close and during this holiday we told each other our dreams, what were gonna be when we grew up. and i innocently told him, i was going to grow up and become a women and we could run the farm together.. he laughed at me and said sure..anyway after the holidays somehow the head boy found out what i was gonna be when i grew up (stephen never betrayed me but i may have told someone else, i was 7 after all[ i know he never betrayed me because he helped me and we remained friends for couple of years after]) and accosted me in the boys bathroom and told me "so you want to be a girl, well girls like XXXX.." and he abused me...i dont know how long it went on for..my memory is a bit hazy about this time in my life, i look at this time and realised this is when my soul was shattered and i did the only thing i could and protected my heart. i became very withdrawn and wouldnt let people touch me and often hid when i was home crying,  i never told my mom what was happening to me, but somewhere along the line i lost it at the head boy and put him in local hospital. it was bad they even recalled my Dad from the war and he appeared before the board and they wanted to know why his son did this and how he was gonna punish me for the assault.. my dad listened and said "the real question is what caused a 7 year old to attack a 13 year old and the head boy no less" and got up and left. my family then moved to windhoek and took us out of the boarding school. i am become very angry, no one touched me.. i was angry at the world, at God for making me this way.. a pure fury at the universe because there was no way i could be who i needed to be.. you have to understand information was very controlled and it was a policed state, many things were illegal

the sweet gently child was gone, i withdrew more into myself and realized the only way to protect myself was to hide it and suppress it completely. i was afraid of loosing my temper so badly i would hurt or possibly kill someone and withdrew even more. i think my mind also suppressed what happened and i only began to remember when i was 19 and out of school. i suppressed and hid my desire as much as i could it wasn't till i was 12~13 and there was a concert at my school i was a production.. the problem was there were not enough girls in the class so some of the boys got put in the female roles.. i was lucky enough to be one of them, i loved every minute, the high heels, the makeup, the clothes everything.. i felt normal, and i think my parents were starting to suspect something and began to do what they could to discourage it (they are Christians and to them it is a sin)... i hid it even more, but began to steal my sisters cloths etc. i became determined to get ahead of everyone at school and leave home ASAP and disappear into society.

i think because of this one and many episodes in my life, i find it really difficult to make friends.. to open myself up.. i am shy at first and then begin to open up.. when someone offers friendship i tend to grab hold with both hands...i am in all the way and will without a doubt put myself in harms way to protect my friend. if they disappeared for any reason i wont stop till i find out if they are safe and happy. my therapist gave me some advice and if i find a friend/s to go slowly. and that i would need trusted friends who will have my back when my family finds out. to have friends to go shopping with to offer each other protection and friendship.

I am terrified when my family finds out, i have this feeling my parents will go all out to stop my transition.. even so far as to go to court to have them find me incapable of making decisions too make them my guardians. and believe me they will go all out, no holds barred. and you dont want to hear what they say each and everytime Caitlyn is on TV or some documentary or story is advertised..they are hardcore christians.

Everytime my hair length comes out, my Dad hates it and wants it shorter and states time and again aggressively "You are my son!!!" my mom knows i want to grow it and she offers to "trim" it.. but i am terrified she will accidentally cut a bit to short and then have to cut it all short. and my parents are the kind that give advise and expect me to follow it and push all the buttons and make you follow it. they forever want me to go over and have dinner and always push to find out why i split from my wife and are pushy for information on my sessions and whats going in my life.. i keep quiet and just say its going good.. now they want to pick me up and take me to church etc.. all i want is my space and time. they also want to know everything going in their kids lives and offer advice and expect us kids to follow it.. and if not act like we are hurting them.. they even get my oldest sister to act like an interrogator and every time i tell her something my folks know. so i keep everything close. i dont need my parents running my life, but they in their love think this is ok because i am on my own and more determined than ever to end things with my ex.. they bring up constantly how its a shame etc.. its really depressing when they bring it up.

i could ramble on for ever about this..

my therapist also recommend to me to go to some LBGT clubs and just have a few drinks and sit and watch... me i am little uncomfortable going into unknown situations and places without a friend or someone for support. the idea intrigues me and terrifies me at the same time.. i really don't want to be hit on, but def want to go to see and have a good evening with a trusted friend or colleague. also don't really want to bump into a colleague from work..

she also suggested i start a blog.. this idea i like and think i will make one..


any suggentions and ideas welcome.

There is a group called alphabet soup that meet on the third tuesday of every month it is a casual situation in a restaurant with just transgender and allies have a meal a drink and talking. The next one is on 20th this tuesday. They have a facebook group

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Quote from: VeronicaMJ on September 17, 2016, 05:31:35 AM
Hello,

I know i have been away for a few weeks.. there are a few reasons for this, one of the most important is i finally have my own house (the other i hid in books the Dark Carpathian series).. woohoo its a two bedroom unit and its a very quiet area. it took me ages to look around and find one. i had this whole thing neatly planned in my head, please bare with me, things are always clearly and better written in my mind then when i start writing it down. i thought having my own place would help with my Gender Dysphoria and give me room to cope, reach my goals and be myself.. but it didn't take me long to realize this is not soo...i am not out to my family yet, and soo once i had moved in and since, i would be dressed and being my real self and then get a call saying family would be visiting and then having to rush to my room and remove the makeup and cloths... hop in the shower quickly and get dressed in my male clothes (which feels wrong and feeling failure at faking it and lacking courage). it didn't take long to be frustrating, the need to be myself when not at work is becoming more and more paramount.. i am struggling being stuck in "two worlds" and the depression hits hard at times. i am here on earth by two reasons only, one my kids and two i made a promise to my sister and friend to not give up. and it also had been a few weeks and i only got to see my therapist last week wednesday (on my bday ) and told her about the new place and the struggles i have been having and she gave me some advice

but before i go too far can some one please answer these questions...

1.) i am need of starting hair removal, i am considering a mixture of laser and electrolysis. for those who have researched this.. which type of laser is better at this? (i have olive skin and fairly darkish and brown easily in the sun, i have been envied for my tan in winter but its my natural skin colour) you will be saving me hours of trying to understand the technology completely and a place to start looking.

2.) i live in melbourne Victoria Australia, can anyone recommend good LBGT groups or organisations to contact? i would like to meet others who are going thru this and hopefully make friends.

3.) also where do people get their seamless sports bras from? I would like to get a few for when i Start HRT. i would like to be hidden for a bit till i ready to come out at work.

4.) any good places in melbourne vic for voice therapy?


my therapist advised me to contact these LBGT groups and to meet others going thru change and talk to them and make friends. because when my family and children desert me when they find out i am going to need a new family and friends.. but its hard for me to make friends, see i grew up during the Angolan War (lets leave politics out of this) and i grew up in Berg Aukas Namibia and only really had people in their 20s to talk to and soo learned quickly and was able to talk to them.. after sometime we moved to Grootfontein Namibia and i went to an Afrikaans school there i couldn't socialise with people my age, i was just too far ahead of them in that area and couldn't connect to them. not to mention i was beginning to realize how different i really was to everyone else. before then it never mattered to me, i had no problem playing with my toys or my sisters.. i never considered myself male, just me we both ( i have 2 older sisters and one younger)played with each others toys. i was always a gentle and curious person and was interested and wanted to investigate the world with no fear what so ever. during that year i became fluent in afrikaans and could only speak it at home with a spattering of english. my parents became concerned and organised to send me and my sisters to boarding school in windhoek. i was excited because i would be staying in the same dormitory as them but i became very upset when they told me no i would be staying with in the boys dormitory.. both are on the same grounds, but with some encouragement i calmed down, i was seven at the time

the next bit is hard for me and took me years to come to terms with and i am i uncertain of revealing this...

the first few months were ok, and i made a friend called stephen and went on holidays on to his families farm.. we were close and during this holiday we told each other our dreams, what were gonna be when we grew up. and i innocently told him, i was going to grow up and become a women and we could run the farm together.. he laughed at me and said sure..anyway after the holidays somehow the head boy found out what i was gonna be when i grew up (stephen never betrayed me but i may have told someone else, i was 7 after all[ i know he never betrayed me because he helped me and we remained friends for couple of years after]) and accosted me in the boys bathroom and told me "so you want to be a girl, well girls like XXXX.." and he abused me...i dont know how long it went on for..my memory is a bit hazy about this time in my life, i look at this time and realised this is when my soul was shattered and i did the only thing i could and protected my heart. i became very withdrawn and wouldnt let people touch me and often hid when i was home crying,  i never told my mom what was happening to me, but somewhere along the line i lost it at the head boy and put him in local hospital. it was bad they even recalled my Dad from the war and he appeared before the board and they wanted to know why his son did this and how he was gonna punish me for the assault.. my dad listened and said "the real question is what caused a 7 year old to attack a 13 year old and the head boy no less" and got up and left. my family then moved to windhoek and took us out of the boarding school. i am become very angry, no one touched me.. i was angry at the world, at God for making me this way.. a pure fury at the universe because there was no way i could be who i needed to be.. you have to understand information was very controlled and it was a policed state, many things were illegal

the sweet gently child was gone, i withdrew more into myself and realized the only way to protect myself was to hide it and suppress it completely. i was afraid of loosing my temper so badly i would hurt or possibly kill someone and withdrew even more. i think my mind also suppressed what happened and i only began to remember when i was 19 and out of school. i suppressed and hid my desire as much as i could it wasn't till i was 12~13 and there was a concert at my school i was a production.. the problem was there were not enough girls in the class so some of the boys got put in the female roles.. i was lucky enough to be one of them, i loved every minute, the high heels, the makeup, the clothes everything.. i felt normal, and i think my parents were starting to suspect something and began to do what they could to discourage it (they are Christians and to them it is a sin)... i hid it even more, but began to steal my sisters cloths etc. i became determined to get ahead of everyone at school and leave home ASAP and disappear into society.

i think because of this one and many episodes in my life, i find it really difficult to make friends.. to open myself up.. i am shy at first and then begin to open up.. when someone offers friendship i tend to grab hold with both hands...i am in all the way and will without a doubt put myself in harms way to protect my friend. if they disappeared for any reason i wont stop till i find out if they are safe and happy. my therapist gave me some advice and if i find a friend/s to go slowly. and that i would need trusted friends who will have my back when my family finds out. to have friends to go shopping with to offer each other protection and friendship.

I am terrified when my family finds out, i have this feeling my parents will go all out to stop my transition.. even so far as to go to court to have them find me incapable of making decisions too make them my guardians. and believe me they will go all out, no holds barred. and you dont want to hear what they say each and everytime Caitlyn is on TV or some documentary or story is advertised..they are hardcore christians.

Everytime my hair length comes out, my Dad hates it and wants it shorter and states time and again aggressively "You are my son!!!" my mom knows i want to grow it and she offers to "trim" it.. but i am terrified she will accidentally cut a bit to short and then have to cut it all short. and my parents are the kind that give advise and expect me to follow it and push all the buttons and make you follow it. they forever want me to go over and have dinner and always push to find out why i split from my wife and are pushy for information on my sessions and whats going in my life.. i keep quiet and just say its going good.. now they want to pick me up and take me to church etc.. all i want is my space and time. they also want to know everything going in their kids lives and offer advice and expect us kids to follow it.. and if not act like we are hurting them.. they even get my oldest sister to act like an interrogator and every time i tell her something my folks know. so i keep everything close. i dont need my parents running my life, but they in their love think this is ok because i am on my own and more determined than ever to end things with my ex.. they bring up constantly how its a shame etc.. its really depressing when they bring it up.

i could ramble on for ever about this..

my therapist also recommend to me to go to some LBGT clubs and just have a few drinks and sit and watch... me i am little uncomfortable going into unknown situations and places without a friend or someone for support. the idea intrigues me and terrifies me at the same time.. i really don't want to be hit on, but def want to go to see and have a good evening with a trusted friend or colleague. also don't really want to bump into a colleague from work..

she also suggested i start a blog.. this idea i like and think i will make one..


any suggentions and ideas welcome.

Hey hon im on a phone replying so sorry for typos.  Im trans and 2 1/2 years on estragen  firstly the dysphoria from my experience wont go away in my case it hid from me for years only to come back years later stronger than ever the change to fem hormones calmed my mind and finaly made me feel who i lnew i was im sorry i didnt read your whole book i never was good with txt but i wish you well



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Hi Veronica

I sympathize with you. The abuse at the boarding school must have been awful. I'm glad that your father at least seems to have handled the discussion with the headmaster in a logical manner. I only wish your family would be at least that supportive of you in everything. However, I've also seen first hand how blind and intolerant hardcore Christianity can make people and do understand why you believe you'll lose your family when you transition.

I believe Alexandrite laser is the one usually used for darker skin.

Where seamless bras are concerned, Amazon is a pretty good—if obvious—first place to look. By the way, sports bras may be easier to fit than regular seamless ones at the initial stages of breast growth, at least if your starting shape is not already fairly feminine. They also don't accentuate the breasts as much, which may be good if your intention is to hide the development at work.

Where your other questions are concerned, I trust members who are from Australia will be able to help.

I do wish you the best.

Quote from: lily paige on September 17, 2016, 05:50:53 AM
There is a group called alphabet soup that meet on the third tuesday of every month it is a casual situation in a restaurant with just transgender and allies have a meal a drink and talking. The next one is on 20th this tuesday. They have a facebook group

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thanks for that, i will have a look at fb to find the page.. do u happen to have a link?

Quote from: zirconia on September 17, 2016, 02:58:11 PM
Hi Veronica

I sympathize with you. The abuse at the boarding school must have been awful. I'm glad that your father at least seems to have handled the discussion with the headmaster in a logical manner. I only wish your family would be at least that supportive of you in everything. However, I've also seen first hand how blind and intolerant hardcore Christianity can make people and do understand why you believe you'll lose your family when you transition.

They never used to be soo hardcore, but have gotten worse lately.. i know my parents well, and when my GID became unbearable in my late teens... i stopped talking about everything to them and began to withdraw.. they are very pushy.. and they have noticed i have been very down lately. and they constantly bring up the fact my kids are in New Zealand and how sad it is, making me feel worse about it.. its all the time. they are trying hard to insert more into my life and want to me to listen and follow their guidance.. they mean well but i am 38 years old and am my own person.

Also the fact that we are competing with other members of our own family (aunties/uncles etc) and it would be embarrassing to them.. they also believe its Satans doing and a complete sin and that those are living in darkness and there should never be any legal protection but those should be cured of the problem. and that in the old days they used to beat them up... you get the idea, like i said the amazing amount of negativity whenever Caitlyn is on TV or anything to do with Trans would make your ears bleed.

and i firmly believe they will do anything to stop me in my transition. I know i will loose them and they will turn their backs on me. In fact i wouldn't be surprised if i got a knuckle sandwich or two from the old man (for hurting my mom and to knock sense into me).. its kind of my plan to silently find a new place before i tell them and move my stuff and then send them a letter and disappear overseas for my first operation. i also think i will lose two of my 3 sisters..even if they turn their backs on me, i will never turn my back on them.

Quote from: zirconia on September 17, 2016, 02:58:11 PM
I believe Alexandrite laser is the one usually used for darker skin.

thank you, i will have a look into this. i found a photo of me and my twin girls...just to show my olive skin colour in summer with moderate sun exposure... and one with me and the all my kids, i snipped my ex out of the photo because that is what she wanted..also the photos are over a year ago, about 16months or so

also what creams do u use to reduce swelling and any possible pain?

Quote from: zirconia on September 17, 2016, 02:58:11 PM
Where seamless bras are concerned, Amazon is a pretty good—if obvious—first place to look. By the way, sports bras may be easier to fit than regular seamless ones at the initial stages of breast growth, at least if your starting shape is not already fairly feminine. They also don't accentuate the breasts as much, which may be good if your intention is to hide the development at work.

Where your other questions are concerned, I trust members who are from Australia will be able to help.

I do wish you the best.

yeah i have a plan in place for my transition, eventually i will transition at work.. but want to reach certain goals first. the VFS is easy to explain (to fix problems as the result of smoking) and the FFS to fix the sinus passages in my face that are broken . i also dont want to transition till i am ready to tell my family.. sort of get the whole lot at once...not to mention i really would like to make and have friends before all of this...

Here is a link for you
https://www.facebook.com/alphabetsouptrans/



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Quote from: lily paige on September 17, 2016, 06:50:28 PM
Here is a link for you
https://www.facebook.com/alphabetsouptrans/



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ty

As i said there is one on this tuesday between 6 to closing. You may want to come after 7 this week as between 6 - 7 there is a documentary been filmed.

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Quote from: lily paige on September 17, 2016, 08:37:25 PM
As i said there is one on this tuesday between 6 to closing. You may want to come after 7 this week as between 6 - 7 there is a documentary been filmed.

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i saw that thanks, at present i am inbetween paydays.. but will save some money for the next one.. i am still trying to get on my feet financially.

Veronica,

Being unable to trust your family to understand and support you must have been devastating when you grew up, and it sounds like you feel at least your parents still try to control you. Having to hide your feelings from the very people who ideally should be your closest support must have really hurt, and made it even harder to open up to and trust outsiders.

The compulsion to stay camouflaged throughout the years must have been agony, and I can only imagine how much courage it must have taken to open up to your second-oldest sister. I imagine that her acceptance must have felt like a ray of light in the darkness.

I read all of your posts this morning. Please forgive me if I'm wrong, but what I felt radiate from many was the pain of someone who at an early age decided to live for others even at the expense of sacrificing all of oneself. If so, combined with the need to hide yourself, you must have largely felt like you were completely alone.

I hope and trust that your sister can be your first ally throughout what comes. There may be relief in being able to talk about your family with someone who knows it as intimately as you do and understands. Her husband also sounds perceptive and hopefully even open minded, and I hope he will also stand by you.

You asked about creams to use after laser. From what I've been told by practitioners I trust, witch hazel and coconut oil are safe and effective topically, and taking vitamin C helps accelerate healing and prevent trouble. Some people also suggest lotions that contain zinc. To be honest, however, I myself have usually applied nothing after laser and electrolysis treatments, only avoiding touching the areas on the day of the treatment and gently washing with just water for a day or two after. That said, my skin is light and heals fast. Avoiding the sun until the skin irritation recedes is also rather important.

I must say I like your pictures. Your children also look lovely. I hope from my heart that you will find happiness and peace of mind.

You asked about voice training i see a speech therapist through Northside clinic they deal with a lot of transgender people.

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Hi, I am from Melbourne as far as I know the majority of trans support groups here are for youth, think maybe one isn't, I know when I used to go through monash clinic they had a speech place they could refer people to.

Hope you find Melbourne accepting

Quote from: Serenation on September 18, 2016, 01:36:16 AM
Hope you find Melbourne accepting

If Melbourne was any more accepting of me, I'd have to start wandering around naked or something just to attract some negative attention..

Ill post you a link to my fb if you want you can cantact me on messager and i can try to answer  any question you have. https://www.facebook.com/isaac.codling

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If your not comfortable with that i suggest joining the gender diversity australia  (genda) fb page they would be very helpful.

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Hi Lily,

thanks for the posts, payday is next week.. and i stretched myself pretty thin getting my place.. soo money is very very tight. i intend to lean on my courage and go, i just cant this tuesday as i have no money i will def go next month.

also i plan to start another FB profile and join these pages...and if you don't mind add you as an FB friend. soo keep an eye out for a Veronica M. J or possibly M A.. i don't know if i will keep my surname, i may just change it to hide myself a little further from my family at the moment.

Quote from: kelly_aus on September 18, 2016, 01:45:15 AM
If Melbourne was any more accepting of me, I'd have to start wandering around naked or something just to attract some negative attention..

there is truth in that, tho Werribee is little octa and not soo understanding....

Quote from: Serenation on September 18, 2016, 01:36:16 AM
Hi, I am from Melbourne as far as I know the majority of trans support groups here are for youth, think maybe one isn't, I know when I used to go through monash clinic they had a speech place they could refer people to.

Hope you find Melbourne accepting

hmm i will look into that centre, it may be an idea to join a major group and have a support group for people around my age or older if there isnt one already... just trying to save myself the headache of googling and hitting also sorts of ads and misdirections for the first page or two..and also i am fairly swamped with wrok at the moment too.. which doesnt help.

Quote from: zirconia on September 17, 2016, 11:23:42 PM
Veronica,

Being unable to trust your family to understand and support you must have been devastating when you grew up, and it sounds like you feel at least your parents still try to control you. Having to hide your feelings from the very people who ideally should be your closest support must have really hurt, and made it even harder to open up to and trust outsiders.

The compulsion to stay camouflaged throughout the years must have been agony, and I can only imagine how much courage it must have taken to open up to your second-oldest sister. I imagine that her acceptance must have felt like a ray of light in the darkness.

yeah i told my sister the night my ex and children flew out of the country.. my heart was pounding and i had terrible shakes.. she was understanding and she told me her and her husband were talking the otherday and he said that i am trans.. she was a little shocked at first and it took time for her to adjust and accept.. it started slow.. thos she has given me a bunch of makeup and a few tips.. time will tell, but i feel somewhat confidant she will stand by me.. but she has a family and i understand, tho i do know she will never abandon me ever.

And you are right, living for others has been agony, i was existing with pain and sadness throughout my growing up years and early adult life (it got so bad i was smoking 2 packs a day hoping to end it all, every other method was either too messy - tho i have since quit smoking). I don't like causing other people pain and do what i can to alleviate it.. if they need food or money or house hold items, i will give up my stuff to for fill their needs..even go without food for a couple of days.. having no support made it difficult to open up, i have always and still do guard myself and put on a front to make others feel comfortable. but it hurts just the same, even the wrong pronouns or my dad makes statements "your my son", that pierces my soul and hurts deep down and i think "no i am your child first and always", even tho i havent told them.. what hurts even more is they must of suspected something all along and yet they never helped me, talked to me or provided that support.. i guess it was too embarrassing/shameful for them.

Quote from: zirconia on September 17, 2016, 11:23:42 PM
I read all of your posts this morning. Please forgive me if I'm wrong, but what I felt radiate from many was the pain of someone who at an early age decided to live for others even at the expense of sacrificing all of oneself. If so, combined with the need to hide yourself, you must have largely felt like you were completely alone.

I hope and trust that your sister can be your first ally throughout what comes. There may be relief in being able to talk about your family with someone who knows it as intimately as you do and understands. Her husband also sounds perceptive and hopefully even open minded, and I hope he will also stand by you.

I was and still am alone, it was a relief to tell my sister and be able to talk to her.. tho i still have barriers up and am cautious..i cant just drop those, its just too risky and i do konw if i drop all the barriers there is no going back... well my sister is accepting and coming to terms with it all. with regards to her husband, his not against it as far as i know and is accepting.. but i dont know for sure.. i do know my sister wont abandon me completely and hopefully she will visit from time to time and me her.. tho she has found a hairdresser who will cut my hair and a studio her business (and friend) partner (she has transitioned) runs that does makeup and photo shoots for trans people..

Quote from: zirconia on September 17, 2016, 11:23:42 PM
You asked about creams to use after laser. From what I've been told by practitioners I trust, witch hazel and coconut oil are safe and effective topically, and taking vitamin C helps accelerate healing and prevent trouble. Some people also suggest lotions that contain zinc. To be honest, however, I myself have usually applied nothing after laser and electrolysis treatments, only avoiding touching the areas on the day of the treatment and gently washing with just water for a day or two after. That said, my skin is light and heals fast. Avoiding the sun until the skin irritation recedes is also rather important.

I must say I like your pictures. Your children also look lovely. I hope from my heart that you will find happiness and peace of mind.

staying out of the sun will be hard with my job, but i will take what you say and use it..i sure hope my kids, when i tell them eventually accept me.. but i will tell them, no matter what there is a home here for them and i will always love them. i silently cry when i talk to them, and try to put happy in my voice, just after fatherday i received hand drawings from all of them, i cried for a long time.. i miss my children soo much  and thank you, so do i..