Hi Rachel,
   You and I have talked about my FFS in the recent past. I look back on it as an adventure that was more exciting than scary. Somehow my need to progress to be who I need to be, far outweighed any fear I had. I am hoping for GCS in June. I am not as ambitious as you to do so much in so short a time. I hope you know that there are a lot of positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. I suspect you will be ready to write a few new chapters in that book before it is all over. I am so happy your wait is coming to an end.
   I thought I would let you know that for me, being off the hormones feels like a "blip" now. Actually, the break from them and subsequent restart has allowed me to feel more affects from them. I have soreness in the boobs that I haven't had in 8 months. A year from now, I suspect it will seem like a "blip" to you also.
   I had some news of my own today. I got my new female drivers license in the mail today. I was so excited. You will soon have a new one yourself, with your new gorgeous face on it. Take care and let us know how you are doing when you feel up to it.
Moni

Moni,

Congratulations on a milestone!

Steph

Hi Steph, congratulations on starting therapy. That was the best thing I have done for myself. I was so scared to start, to even walk into the building. I am so glad I go to therapy. Some people say we are the same person when we transition. I disagree, I am so much stronger and happier and more productive. Good luck in therapy

Hi Monica, congratulations on the new picture on your drivers license. My work ID is bad. They put a light over your head to get the facial features and I just cringe. When I changed my name I had my license redone (it was 3 weeks since my license was renewed). I can not wait until FFS and hair is corrected and I get a good work and drivers ID. I am so happy for you

The divorce settlement was signed and notarized yesterday.

I am taking the dog to the park and when I come back I will start packing for Boston.

Since being off HRT I have increasingly felt blah, smiles are less frequent. I have had a headache since day three and today the ringing has started, very low but it is there. Never guess what happened this morning again . Tomorrow is the last day worked and I need to call the FMLA hotline and re-inform my boss I am going on FMLA Tuesday (as per policy).

13th last day worked,
14th pre-op appointment, get scripts, shop for everything I will need and did not pack,
15th shop some more and visit a museum,
16th FFS
23rd post-FFS appointment and back to Philly
26th work ? Perhaps 29th

I am in Boston 😀

Tomorrow I have my pre-op meeting with Dr Spiegel.

I will get my scripts and buy some last minute supplies. I have Wednesday and Thursday to tour around Boston. I walk 6 miles a day so I was able to find the aquarium and a lot to do in the next two days.

I get looks now and then but no issues so at least this section of Boston is pretty nice and accepting.

I am staying at the Marriott extended stay Harbor on Tutor Warf. Pretty cool, I put in my grocery shopping order and it will be here tomorrow. Lisa at the front desk has be awesome. She said a lot of Doctor Spiegels patients stay here. The area where the hotel is located is a really nice area and a little walk puts you in the middle of a lot of activities. I guess that will be mostly pointless from Friday on.

I just want the operation behind me at this point. I can not believe it is just 3 days away.

I have been in contact with a woman from group the is going to Dr. Spiegel in a few months. I am glad to fill her in on what is like and what to expect.

Home has been ok. We have texted a bunch of times and all has been very good. I am surprised. It is almost like my wife and daughter realize it will happen and have stopped the negatives.

So, it is a matter of time.

Hi Rachel,
   We are there with you in spirit. You can just go with the flow now. It will happen as it will. Be excited that soon you will see the new you. Remember think adventure, not ordeal. It helps!
Moni
PS I was in Boston once. You could tell the natives from the tourists by watching them drive. The tourists were the ones who stopped at the stop signs. lol

Rachel,

I, too, want to offer my best wishes and encouragement.  I've stayed at the Marriott on the Harbor.  Enjoy your pre-op time, spend some quality "Rachel time" and clear your thoughts in preparation.  Surgery will soon be behind you, a memory.  you will be yet another step toward realizing your goals.

Congratulations!

Steph

Congratulations and best wishes from me too Rachel!

Thank you for your support Mary, Steph and Monica. I spent today and I will spend tomorrow as me time. I visited the Boston Navy yard and ate by the aquarium. Tomorrow I will walk to bunker hill and most likely go to the aquarium. I have a 4 pm therapist face time.

I had my pre-op meeting today. Everyone in the office was very nice and there were absolutely no misgenderings, as expected. Dr. Spiegel went over every item in the procedure which is:
Forehead lowering,
Removal of the sinus bone and contouring,
Blurring down the eyelets,
Placing the brows,
Lip lift,
Mandible and chin contouring,
Fat graph in checks and lips,
Face lift,
Neck lift,
Lower eye lift and perhaps cutting and tightening of the lower lid if needed.

I had three scrips given to me. CVS is across the street and my insurance is with CVS so I filled the mouth wash, antibiotic and OxyCodone. I now have 40 OxyCodone pills. I have had some thoughts like try one to see how it will effect me and take the pills all at once. Fleeting thoughts at best. I am pumped to see the next year of my life. I never felt that way before.

I asked what will I look like. Dr. Spiegel said a female version of you but 15 years younger. Perhaps a little salesman. When I was speaking to Carol she said what to expect as time went by. Swelling on the mandible will be with me for a while.

The bad news I asked when I can go back on hormones. He said because I need to fly then after I get home. I was so looking forward to next Wednesday.

Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 Friday. I said to Carol ( she has been my main contact at Dr. Spiegels), I would love to never get misgendered again.

Best,
Rachel

I just got a call from my wife with lots of questions and a request to postpone the surgery. I said I would not postpone and she said a few choice words. Our divorce settlement is final and we are waiting for the decree from the judge. She said I am making things hard for her. She does not want to see my face. This is not new for her and she knew the surgery dates from the divorce negotiations in the spring. She wants to move out but has not started looking.

I really don't need that stress right now.

Tomorrow I have the operation at 7:30. I needed to get a top that either buttons or zips. I have button tops at home but they are from when I had just started to express at work and since then have gone to pull overs. I really will not wear the work shirts even though some woman managers at work wear that style. They are not me.

Off to Quincies market in Boston. Awesome place and I went into a bunch of stores. I avoided the loft and Ann Taylor's and was going to into them as a last resort. I love their cloths but they are pricey. I got a really cute button top and am very happy with it. I also got a cute belt, blue.

I will get up at 4 tomorrow, shower, remove piercings and be on my way at 5 to Mount Auburn Hospital.

Last day with this face. I took some selfies in case I do a before and after pic.

I had my therapist cell phone session.

Did the pre-check in with Mount Auburn hospital.

I am very ready. Next stop surgery

Good luck!

Best wishes ...hope it goes well

Good luck! Hope everything goes perfectly.

Rachel, I've followed your journey along this whole thread.  You are an amazing person, and you deserve the best possible results.  I hope the procedure goes flawlessly.

- Michelle

Michelle, Steph, Just Me hear, Brianna, thank you very much for your support and good wishes. It means a lot. I agree Milton must have had some dysphoria.

2.5 hours I will be operated on. I leave for the hospital in a minute. I just wanted to say thank you everyone for your help, support and good wishes.

Good by old face. I have outgrown you and it is time to reveale me. You served me well and protected me, fairwell my old friend.

Rachel when I joined early in the spring of 2015, one of the first things I did was read your entire thread from start to finish.  It was epic, inspiring, and real and I am so happy to be here when you are nearing a finish line of some sort.

I am only three months on hormones at this point, with a lot still ahead of me.  I wish you all the best with your FFS, and look forward to hearing about it after.

You have such courage...all I can say is you go girl

Thank you Carley and Brianna for your support and kind words.

I have to go back to the hotel.


Bathroom problem due to oxi.very tird

Congratulations Rachel, I'm so glad to hear you've completed this step.

I'm just a little way up the river Charles from you and would love to stop by if schedules work - unfortunately today I'm committed right through to 10pm so today is out.

Tomorrow I'm working 'til about 7pm. Tuesday however I'm open after about 11:30 am.

I'd love to visit if you have the energy for that, understanding of course if not and it goes without saying I'm glad to pickup anything you may be needing.

Hoping your recovery is easing, I fully understand the effects of the pain killers.

Hi Sadie Blake, thank you very much for the offer. I am just getting my bearings again. I look pretty bad right now and hope to be in condition Friday for the trip to Spiegel and Philadelphia.

I think I will try some chicken and rice in a bit and then try to clean the blood on my stitched and reapply some triple antibiotic cream