Anyone here found it real hard to communicate with people until transition or even afterwards?

I seem to have this weird thing, where I talk about nonsense without realizing it... I also have a very very hard time coming up with new things to say to people, being creative and such. I don't think I'm retarded in anyway since I have a job, bachelors with a good GPA and such, but I do feel like I might have some kind of retardation when it comes to performing socially. Everyone has always pointed it out... they saying nothing I talk about makes sense, or does not follow the conversation's flow... but I don't notice it until I - say I read one of my own texts that I've sent someone a few days prior to that or such -... It just makes me so miserable because I'm not sure if that's anxiety at its best (caused by all the trans stuff), and not sure if it goes away or not once you start transitioning... All I know is that people think I'm dumb... It just hurts bad you know...
Please, I've you've gone through this, and especially transitioning and this stopped. Please let me know

Big hug! I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety. I think anxiety is the issue, however, not your intellectual status. I'd like you to look at the following, because your comments here are....well, offensive.



Here's a page explaining why it's wrong to use the word in that context: http://www.r-word.org/

Hugs, Devlyn

I've always had social anxiety an have been socially reclusive and quiet. Ive chalked it up to just how I am, but also have been trying very hard my entire life to improve.

Lately Ive been more suvcessful, and subsequently, I've been four months into transition, everyone calls me what I am because now its what Ive looked like. Im starting to feel a surge in confidence and the affect in my voice is much better, I feel more open and able to cope because I know people see me how I feel myself

Its still slow going but the difference is noticeable. I had never put two and two together and realized that dysphoria and my anxiety were linked

@Devlyn Oh, thats odd Ive never thought the word "retarded" was offensive anymore in this day and age, nobody uses that word to describe mentally disabled people instead it has separated from that and been so whittled down to mean synonymous to "stupid". Aside from that "retardation" seems to have fallen out of medical usage anyways. These days calling someone who is suffering mental disrepair retarded is well...dumb.

In fact an obnoxious trend Ive found kids these days using is "autist" and "aspie", when it has nothing to do with how irrattionally bad someone is acting.

People do use "social Q" and "intellectual Q" separately, and for good reason.   IQ does not grant you any particular advantage in social skills. 

A real trick you might try and think or meditate over, would be asking yourself whether your aversion to socialization is a result of dysphoria based emotions, or whether its honestly part of your core personality, regardless of gender expression.     Now, if you were dissatisfied with being unsociable, then you could take some steps to counteract it, but no one is going to punish you because you don't like socializing.

I could be on the extreme end of this spectrum, but I know the people that care for me (business or personally) will generally go out of their way to find me a spot to camp out at gatherings, and aren't upset or annoyed that I don't participate much.  lol.   I'm completely serious btw.

You are describing something that I have had much of my life but I learned early how to deal with it. It's not important to be the one leading the conversation as most people like to talk. There is another part of the conversation where you listen and think then only respond when a response is appropriate. You will have a well thought out reply, the other person will have had the joy of talking and you will appear the wiser of the two.

For years people have been coming to me for advise that had they taken the time to think, most likely they could have come to the same conclusion. In your next conversation try to listen and think more. I think you will find the responses you provide will improve.

I had a severe problem with that up to the age of about 16, and then it continued to a lesser degree until about the age of 24-25, after which I mastered it.

Personally I think the reason was lack of interaction and lack of knowledge about how to interact. I wasn't the sort of kid who had many friends and I rarely watched TV so I wasn't seeing or experiencing examples of how to interact naturally. The fact someone was talking to me at all in school freaked me out so much I wouldn't know what to say.

The remedy is to interact and to keep interacting, in real life, online, wherever. Eventually your anxiety at talking to someone will pass away, and you'll find not only does your competence improve but you'll become creative and even more eloquent than most.

In my case it had nothing to do with transition or dysphoria - it was purely a lack of social interaction from a young age which was actually my parents' fault because they refused to let me go out and make friends with other kids until I was about 7. By that point I looked at the other kids in school as alien beings and had no interest in socializing with them. It took a long time to fix. Switching mannerisms and behaviors over during transition isn't so hard once you get over the initial anxiety of interaction.