I am me all the time and I do dress the part. I still get a sort of neutral response instead of yes ma'am it's yes and I do get yes ma'am on occasions. I am in my eight month of HRT. Any suggestions to improve my odds of being properly respected?

❤️,
Michelle

Quote from: michelleh on August 31, 2016, 02:14:27 PM
I am me all the time and I do dress the part. I still get a sort of neutral response instead of yes ma'am it's yes and I do get yes ma'am on occasions. I am in my eight month of HRT. Any suggestions to improve my odds of being properly respected?

❤️,
Michelle

Keep growing your hair longer, color it and get a nice female cut? Perhaps a little more makeup? Do you paint your nails?

Thank you Sinclair!
This week I saw a cosmetic consultant. What a difference it really feminized me and the only people siring me are those who already knew me of course I make sure to correct. My hair is getting longer and yes since the picture which was August 15 I have seen a hair stylist.
❤️Michelle

Quote from: michelleh on September 20, 2016, 11:12:50 PM
This week I saw a cosmetic consultant. What a difference it really feminized me

Yes!  That will definitely do it!  No amount of YouTube videos or online tutorials can even come close to the personalized, color-corrected, exact advice of a face-to-face meeting with a cosmetic consultant! 

Heh. I scheduled a makeover session for this afternoon. Let's see what they can do with me.  [emoji316]

EDIT:  OK, I did it.  Wow!  I learned more in 45 minutes than I did from gigabytes of YouTube videos, all oriented towards MY face, coloring, and structure.

Here are the Before and Afters.  Before is from a couple weeks ago, with not much of anything.  After a 45 minute session with Angela at a local Sephora, where I learned the correct way to apply my concealer, do eye shadow, a subtle liner, mascara, foundation, translucent powder, blush, and bronzer, the results look... better...

Michelle_P,

I agree with you about the one on one it really did wonders for you. I went to Walgreen's and found a certified cosmetic consultant. He was extremely insightful when I asked questions during the makeover. Now I really know how to put on makeup now. Awesome!!!! It radically change me from neutral gender to feminine female. It is really kinda fun doing makeup.💄👄💅🏻👒👠
Michelle

What is the cost of doing something like a consultant or going to Sephora? Do you tip them after, I assume? Did you ask if they were trans friendly before doing it. I think it might be good for them to know so they understand that , at least for me, I have zero knowledge.
Monica

What is the cost of doing something like a consultant or going to Sephora? Do you tip them after, I assume? Did you ask if they were trans friendly before doing it. I think it might be good for them to know so they understand that , at least for me, I have zero knowledge.
Monica

Monica,
Mine was free as a demonstration to buy the make up!😃I got the make up at discount. Check with Walgreen's to see where in your city there doing this or just find similar events where they want to sell you make up.
Michelle

Sephora lets you schedule appointments for services online, for the stores that offer them.  The 45 minute makeovers are free with a $40 purchase.  Given what the cosmetics cost, that is absolutely easy to do.  I had almost nothing, some corrector, a tube of foundation cream that was getting old, and maybe $20 of drugstore junk.  So, I wound up buying a number of items, for well over that $40 threshold.  The artist will have whatever items you want fetched and bagged, and will complete the sale without your ever getting out of that chair.

When you make the appointment you can indicate what you are looking for, everyday look, glam, evening formal, and any areas of particular  interest, concealing pores, beard shadow, etc.  I was explicit in indicating I was an older transwoman to avoid any issues, and everything went very smoothly.

Ulta stores have a full service salon in many locations, and I recall a similar makeover cost about $40 there.

Where do they do the makeover?  Is it out in the open where everyone can see you or is it private?

It depends on the store layout, but it's definitely not a private room.

The Sephora store I was at had a partition on one side of the entryway, running from the big glass windows into the store. The area of the partition had six stations, arranged 3 along the partition and 3 on the opposite wall. The setup lets anyone walking past the store on the big pedestrian mall look in the window and see what is going on.  My back was to the window the whole time, and my hair was just clipped back while my face was done.

The nearby Ulta store has their salon all the way back, in one corner of the store,  and their Brow Bar about halfway back.

Yeah, it can feel sort of public, but I'm already used to walking around in public, doing lunch alone, shopping, and whatnot.  This wasn't a big deal.  Two other customers getting makeovers didn't even look at me as far as I could tell.  I was just another fabulous 60-something getting a makeover.       

Quote from: Karlie Ann on September 25, 2016, 06:03:50 PM
Where do they do the makeover?  Is it out in the open where everyone can see you or is it private?

In the beginning, I struggled a lot with makeup, mostly foundation and powder, because I couldn't find the correct shade to match my Asian skin tone with drugstore brands.  So I finally decided to spend the extra money and go to a MAC store.  The cosmetic consultant there found the perfect match for me on the first try, and I've been using MAC products ever since.

Like Michelle, my experience was in public view inside the store, but they also had a private room in the back for makeup lessons for those who wanted some privacy.  Using that room would have required an appointment set up beforehand, as well as an extra fee for the private lesson.

I don't know if all MAC stores have a private room in the back.  It probably depends on the location.  I suggest calling ahead and asking if they do.

Well can't speak for you, but what worked me, or should I say forced me to finaly take the leap was getting misgendered as female while still male. Nothing more than just my ponytail, in fact had some gruff on my face at times. This was an awkward time but I knew I was getting close. I probably could of done the 180 sooner, I took getting misgendered for about 6 months before going ft. Boy do I have the stories! One of last times and most solidifying, was when I booked a job with my very male name only to find out days later she thought I was a woman named **** (very male name)this wasn't the first time it happened.  I thought, well I think I'm getting close lol. I still waited about 3 months, but by then there wasn't some big change to make. Just name!

I also strongly vote for getting a professional makeover. I went to a Sephora's several hours before a fancy dinner that I was going to. I had previously set up the appointment and let them know that I was a 67 year old transgender woman. The young woman that worked with me, Rae, was absolutely great! I told her of my lack of knowledge and experience with makeup. Her first question was how much time I had, which was 4 hours. She spent the entire 4 hours going into detail about absolutely everything and then wrote down all that she had discussed. There was no charge for the time, she would not accept a tip of any kind and she told me that no minimum purchase was required (contrary to their web posting). Of course I bought a boat load of stuff. And I am now a Sephora's customer for life. Sadly, I have not been able to find Rae again but every time I want to learn something new, the consultants that I work with are good, friendly, respectful and provide great service. Yes I know that I sound like a Sephora's spokesperson, I guess that I am but not one that they know about and I never receive anything from them but best wishes and good service.

Anne

There's something really interesting about all of these makeover stories.  They're incredibly affirmative, welcoming events in our lives, almost a rite of passage into our lives as women.

I can see it being a major event for our healing and self-acceptance, as well.

And gosh, doesn't it feel good to be treated well, in such a welcoming and intimate activity?

Michelle, As usual, you nailed it! Acceptance, welcome, affirmation, healing, rite of passage, and you leave looking and feeling better than you ever thought you could. - Anne

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 26, 2016, 10:39:10 PM
There's something really interesting about all of these makeover stories.  They're incredibly affirmative, welcoming events in our lives, almost a rite of passage into our lives as women.

I can see it being a major event for our healing and self-acceptance, as well.

And gosh, doesn't it feel good to be treated well, in such a welcoming and intimate activity?

Agree. Here's a quick tip, if you get your nails done at salon, ask about makeup services. The girls there will often do it on the side for so much less. You will have to bring your own makeup though

Quote from: EmilyMK03 on September 25, 2016, 08:08:57 PM
In the beginning, I struggled a lot with makeup, mostly foundation and powder, because I couldn't find the correct shade to match my Asian skin tone with drugstore brands.  So I finally decided to spend the extra money and go to a MAC store.  The cosmetic consultant there found the perfect match for me on the first try, and I've been using MAC products ever since.

Like Michelle, my experience was in public view inside the store, but they also had a private room in the back for makeup lessons for those who wanted some privacy.  Using that room would have required an appointment set up beforehand, as well as an extra fee for the private lesson.

I don't know if all MAC stores have a private room in the back.  It probably depends on the location.  I suggest calling ahead and asking if they do.

I second the MAC store - most have private rooms and they offer different sessions - from a quick makeover to a full consulting. They do charge for sessions but you pretty much get same day store credit. Cost is around $1 per minute (they do 45 minutes, 60 minutes and 90 minutes, so between $45 and $ 90). You need to call and schedule ahead, they are usually super busy.

If you have a good cis girlfriend, she might be able to teach you as well. I know my wife could teach me too (and she does give me hints since she had learned cosmetics in an early career). For whatever reason I still prefer going to a store...