After recently transitioning to full time and things have gone extremely well, I have a certain perspective. Looking at coming out, I was terrified I would lose everything, every relationship. Generally speaking, I think so many of the worst case scenarios that we picture as we think of coming out, don't happen. Based on my experience, I want everyone to go for their dream and find the same kind of contentment that I have found. I want to say "Things are  gonna be fine." Then there is the person who in reality has a very tough road, who will lose so much. It is  an awful reality that some people have or might face. I would  never want someone to be hurt based on me saying, "It will all be great!"
That said, I think there is a natural tendency for trans people to not like how they were born, yet cling to that state of being very stubbornly. Why, well it is safe, it is known territory. It insures that our loved ones won't leave us. There is the thought that, well maybe if I tell everyone the new me won't be successful, and the old me will be ruined, what do I do then? I know for me I moved forward because I just couldn't take the pain any more. I hate the fact that so many of us agonize for so long and many can only move when they get desperate enough. The only thing I can think of to stop this is if people get active in figuring themselves out. Go see a therapist. Experiment with the new gender in safe ways and see how you react. Taking positive steps and not just sitting in misery is so much better. Everything you experience will help you understand what you can do to make a happier life. Its sad how the world talks us into oppressing ourselves. Its such a waste of our lives!
Monica

Michelle, good luck and I hope it goes well.

Disclosure:  I am not religious and this is not an espousal of any particular religious doctrine or view. It is an interesting insight I gained studying exegetical commentaries as part of my larger education in world religions.


The abstract idea behind the biblical Exodus is the following:  Would you rather live as a miserable slave but in a predictable day to day life where you are reasonably certain of your routine, access to food and shelter, known threats and obstacles or would you rather live as a free unenslaved human being in the wilderness without any security or routine, forging out into a new  life, finding a new way, risking starvation, facing unforeseen challenges or obstacles?

The extension of this analogy to the transgender experience is pretty obvious.  Predictability but misery as a slave vs. uncertainty but freedom to live as intended.  The danger is to continue the status quo as a slave.

So, the question is:  When does it become intolerable to continue living as a slave, in this case to the role of living in the role of a gender and in the body of a gender that you are not?

Love the way you have extrapolated that out Steph, as a theology degree holder I concur with your point too.

Awesom.