I started transitioning in the early 1970s, so what you are saying is right on. In those days getting clocked (or spooked?) could lead to some unfortunate outcomes. Violence against trans people was quite acceptable. remember, she transitioned before Stonewall.
Personally, I went through some of the charm school stuff on my own nickel. In the Stanford program, patients were supposed to make a break, at least temporarily, with all people who knew them from before because there was a "lobster effect" which means folks tried to pull them back into the "tank." And, yes, everyone transitioning talked about "the beauty contest" where the all-important letters could be withheld or even reportedly that surgeons were reluctant to do surgery on someone who was not hot. The dark joke was, "you have to give the doc a hard-on before he'll sign off." Sometimes that was literally true, alas.