Thoughts and feelings

Kevinwg · October 03, 2016, 09:11:42 AM

A small update getting rid of negative things in my life. I quit my job after 18 years of abuse.

Kevinwg · October 03, 2016, 04:55:56 PM

Still have the urge to tell my wife how and what I am feeling. Just not sure how she will take it

Dena · October 03, 2016, 06:18:07 PM

The right time to tell your wife will be up to you. We have even less of an idea when the best time would be. Some people talk to a therapist first and others need to tell their wife before starting anything. One issue I have found is that often a wife may be come upset that they weren't told first. The feel that their partner didn't trust them and become angry about it.

Kevinwg · October 03, 2016, 06:25:02 PM

That the whole point. We don't keep secrets from each other on a whole. I told her that I was planning on quitting today. Just totally tired of basically being told that I am useless.

KathyLauren · October 03, 2016, 06:52:35 PM

Given that you have just made a major life change in quitting your job, it might be prudent to let the dust settle on the employment situation before raising the trans issue with your wife.

In the meantime, you can plan how you want to raise the topic with her. Quite a few of us have been in the position of having to come out to our spouses before seeking therapy. We are happy to help if you want to bounce ideas off us.

Rachel · October 03, 2016, 07:06:58 PM

It is a good time to seek out employment that has health benefits.

I know when I hit the tipping point I was not stable and people here recommended I not tell my wife until I went over it with a gender therapist. I am glad I waited the month.

I know it is difficult right now. Transition is a marathon not a sprint. I meet with an awesome gender therapist. We mapped out a plan and started each step when I was ready.

Kevinwg · October 03, 2016, 07:14:11 PM

Bouncing ideas off you is a good idea. Way better than today or more like last night couldn't shut off my brain.

I am working on getting a therapist also. I will have to go to Edmonton tho. We only have one car and if I disappear for several hours. That's the catch 22

Rachel · October 03, 2016, 07:27:44 PM

If you are depressed and anxious and have trouble sleeping then talking to a therapist is a logical thing to do. She should understand you are seeking help in dealing with the above. You are not definite about a transition and the extent of such and that is what you need to figure out with the therapist.

laurenb · October 03, 2016, 07:57:39 PM

Some therapists do Skype. A therapist will bring you at least a one on one non-judging human to talk to. Feeling for you - hugs.

Kevinwg · October 03, 2016, 08:33:15 PM

Don't know about Skype tho only Internet is at home.
Going to make a call to The Pride Center this week.

As for employment that shouldn't be to much of a problem. I have EI and that will keep us going for a bit.
I am feeling way better after quitting even tho he tried to make me feel ready bad. He is trying to sell his company and he texts me an hour after I quit saying when he sold out he was going to give me a bonus for long service of 10,000.

Kevinwg · October 03, 2016, 08:48:24 PM

He has made lots of promises before gives me a rase and a few months later on sorry we have to make cutbacks. Couldn't charge anywhere for supplys had to pay in advance.

AnxietyDisord3r · October 04, 2016, 05:33:05 AM

Quote from: Kevinwg on October 03, 2016, 08:33:15 PM
Don't know about Skype tho only Internet is at home.
Going to make a call to The Pride Center this week.

As for employment that shouldn't be to much of a problem. I have EI and that will keep us going for a bit.
I am feeling way better after quitting even tho he tried to make me feel ready bad. He is trying to sell his company and he texts me an hour after I quit saying when he sold out he was going to give me a bonus for long service of 10,000.

Screw that guy, he sounds emotionally manipulative. You definitely need to see a therapist if only to deal with untangling this abusive relationship with your ex boss. You are very strong to take the step to quit but obviously he is still trying to mess with you emotionally. I think you probably have a few things to unpack and it may be a few months before the weight on your chest lifts. It's a good thing you don't have to run right back to a job right away. Get ahold of yourself and take some time to figure out where you want to go next with jobs.

Kevinwg · October 05, 2016, 12:40:36 PM

I have an appointment with a counselor on Tuesday at the pride center. Another step in the right direction.

KathyLauren · October 05, 2016, 02:24:17 PM

Quote from: Kevinwg on October 05, 2016, 12:40:36 PM
I have an appointment with a counselor on Tuesday at the pride center. Another step in the right direction.

Yay! That is a really good move. It is good to see you moving forward.

Kevinwg · October 05, 2016, 02:32:12 PM

The also have a group meeting every second Monday in the month. Not sure if I am ready for that just yet. See how this appointment gos first.

arice · October 05, 2016, 02:35:47 PM

That is great news!!! Such an important step. I hope it goes well.

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Kevinwg · October 06, 2016, 12:05:12 PM

Had a little giggle today. My wife and I were out and about today. She spotted a dress in a window of a shop and said that's a cute dress won't fit me tho. Me without skipping a beat would fit me but not in the top. Wife says we could stuff it. Nearly fell over.

I haven't come out yet.

KathyLauren · October 06, 2016, 12:23:52 PM

Hee-hee! Those moments are fun!

Kevinwg · October 07, 2016, 09:40:55 PM

I found this test on line ( just being silly) and the results said I am Androgynous. Not sure what that means.

Kevinwg · October 07, 2016, 10:05:13 PM

I looked it up and it says I'm both male and female personalitys. Not sure what to make of that.

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