I've got a complicated situation, so this may be a long explanation.

I'm disabled, so I haven't worked in a few years. My friends also ditched me when I became disabled, so it seemed like the perfect time to transition, and I started pretty much going full time shortly after that. Unfortunately, I'm stuck living with my transphobic family until I can find housing I can afford. I haven't come out to them since I did to my mom at 14, and it went really bad, so I hide in plain sight, even now that I'm on T they don't seem to be aware, and I don't bring it up. Also, for personal safety I keep quiet when they go on transphobic rants.

However, I occasionally have seen previous coworkers, and thankfully so far I have been able to sneak by without acknowledging them, but I don't think it will last since I don't look different enough not to be recognized. The big problem is that some of my previous coworkers also work for the same company as some family members, or they work at stores that my mother shops at and know she's my mother. I don't know how to approach the situation without them also potentially outing me to my transphobic family. I knew when I started T that I could potentially be getting myself kicked out of the house, but since my family seems happy to ignore it, I'd hate for it to come down to a previous coworker outing me.

If your family hasn't noticed the coworker may not notice either. People often only see what they want to see. Of course you might run into that one with the perfect memory and urge to gossip. It's possible that your mom might not believe it if someone said they saw you and your voice seemed deeper or you seemed changed.

Do you have disability status where you could get housing if your family kicks you out?

I've been going by a gender neutral name at work and college for more years than I've been full time, so it is the deeper voice that's the biggest concern. I also avoid my siblings who don't live here and may notice the changes more than the people who see a gradual change. I'm going to try to avoid the store where I'm most likely to run into coworkers who would know my mom, but it got me thinking about the fact that chances were pretty good that I'd see someone who still works with my siblings, and that would get back to my mom, too.

I have disability, but the waitlist for housing is ridiculous. I also have supportive family out of state, but they're not in a position to help me with anything but emotional support. I'm really hoping to move to another state, but a lot rides on where I can find housing first.

If the voice is the giveaway, fake a good cough and apologize, say you're just getting over a cold. It'll cut the conversation short because they don't want your germs, and they're none the wiser.

Where do you live and where are you willing to move out of state? Just curious, because I know for a fact what its like to live with transphobic parents and be super worried that I would never transition. Then, I met a very supportive friend who is now my partner and we moved in together, we're both trans and we support each other in every way.

So yeah, if you have a job and can work just poke around for support. PM me if youre really, really looking for help and want info, bud.

Max, that may work because I've been presenting male for a few years, so it's really just the voice currently that I think is noticeably different than before. As long as I don't run into someone who hasn't seen me since I started transitioning.

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on October 05, 2016, 04:38:31 PM
Where do you live and where are you willing to move out of state? Just curious, because I know for a fact what its like to live with transphobic parents and be super worried that I would never transition. Then, I met a very supportive friend who is now my partner and we moved in together, we're both trans and we support each other in every way.

So yeah, if you have a job and can work just poke around for support. PM me if youre really, really looking for help and want info, bud.

I currently live in Georgia. I lived in Seattle for awhile and have spent a lot of time in the Northeast and really like both of those areas, but really my main goal is just finding somewhere that is LGBT-friendly.

I have steady income from disability and have been checking out the different transgender housing groups on facebook, but so far I haven't found anything.

Quote from: Mal on October 05, 2016, 05:44:16 PM
I currently live in Georgia. I lived in Seattle for awhile and have spent a lot of time in the Northeast and really like both of those areas, but really my main goal is just finding somewhere that is LGBT-friendly.

Try Europe... Holland, England or Germany for instance. From what I can surmize, it's a LOT better there for transgenders!

Quote from: elineq on October 14, 2016, 06:06:53 AM

Quote from: Mal on October 05, 2016, 05:44:16 PM
I currently live in Georgia. I lived in Seattle for awhile and have spent a lot of time in the Northeast and really like both of those areas, but really my main goal is just finding somewhere that is LGBT-friendly.

Try Europe... Holland, England or Germany for instance. From what I can surmize, it's a LOT better there for transgenders!

It's not particularly easy for Americans to just "try Europe" unfortunately.

Quote from: FTMax on October 14, 2016, 01:50:57 PM

It's not particularly easy for Americans to just "try Europe" unfortunately.

Is it really that hard? America isn't the third world, and neither is Europe. I'm sure there have to be some regulations there... Otherwise you could always hop the border to Canada. I hear it's better there too. Or is it hard as well

Quote from: elineq on October 14, 2016, 01:56:26 PM

Quote from: FTMax on October 14, 2016, 01:50:57 PM

It's not particularly easy for Americans to just "try Europe" unfortunately.

Is it really that hard? America isn't the third world, and neither is Europe. I'm sure there have to be some regulations there... Otherwise you could always hop the border to Canada. I hear it's better there too. Or is it hard as well

Staying short term (like a vacation) typically isn't an issue, but long-term would require a lot of planning. It takes about a year to get a student visa to study abroad. That would be the quickest route to go. Other kinds of visas generally take longer.

I had wanted to do a doctoral program at a university in Canada. As an American, I would need to obtain a Study Permit and Temporary Resident Visa to enter Canada, and apply for a Work Permit if I wanted to work at all while doing my degree. In order to get those things, I have to demonstrate in advance that I have been accepted to a school there, that I'm not a security risk, am in good health, will leave at the end of my stay, and that I have enough money to cover my tuition, living expenses, and return transportation fees.

No matter how you do it, it requires funds, some connection to the country you're going to (typically via work, school, investment, or marriage), and waiting. It'd be much easier for OP to move to a friendly state in the US. There are plenty to choose from.