I think for me it was a passing thought the first couple of years , but now  I feel it would be totally wrong to do.

Oddly enough... I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing fairly often, but I never consider stopping transition.

I think about it often enough, but I really waited way too long, and I'm too far down the destructive path on the androgen side.   After a good bit of thought, I always end up resolving the question to a choice between transition(of some degree) or self destruction.   I really, honestly, can not go there again.   I took that AA, right at the edge of oblivion, to think poetically about it.    Now I have lots of debate about whether I want to go forward with just a little menopause level sticker on my butt, or whether I want to fill a syringe with EV and feel whats on the other side of the canyon; and I haven't resolved that issue by any means.  But there's no desperate rush either for that to resolve.

But going back to real guy mode with 500+nanowhatevers of T in my blood?   CAN NOT HAPPEN.

Voted once a year because it sometimes crosses my mind, but the day after it's gone. Idk sometimes I get into a mood and one thought leads to another. Think it's more related to my anxiety. Like I don't remember how bad it was before I transitioned, it's been a while. Never really properly consider detransitioning though, I'm good as I am now, just need SRS ^_^

I tried going off of estrogen for 3 weeks at about 7 months out. Not so much about stopping as seeing if it could be better to cycle between someplace feminine and masculine. Didn't work, I don't ever expect to go back, still not quite 100% on srs.

Once in a while, I will have a "WTF am I doing" moment.  It doesn't last more than 10 seconds, though, and then I come to my senses.

I only do that to simulate in my mind, "Okay, this is a mistake.  I purge my clothes.  I change my name.  Get a hair cut and drop the voice back down," to remind myself how miserable I would be if I actually did this.  ESPECIALLY when gay men and women in general would consistently mistake me for being gay.  It's only a reminder technique.  Never would I go back.

Brahman (the Ultimate Reality of this Universe), may my saṃskāras (mental impressions from past lives and this life) carry me forward to a world of people who all look like women, but roughly half can get pregnant, and the other half can cause the former half to get pregnant.

Oṃ śāntiḥi śāntiḥi śāntiḥi...

I've stopped twice because I'm scared to death of what's going to happen when I come out, and because of my religious background.

That said, I'm back on because honestly, I love being a girl, and can't imagine being a boy the rest of my life.  I mean, I'm 46, and I don't want to wait any longer.

Whenever I need a good laugh the thought crosses my mind...Impossible for me to have had what should be a horrible month but still be so content, happy and bubbly

Rarely.  Occasionally the doubts get stronger, and that's when I get out my diary and look back to before I started HRT and decided on transition.  Do I want to go back to that hot mess, knowing it would be even worse now because I've gotten a taste of how much better my life could be?

That clears the issue right up in my mind.

Without a doubt for me it is way too often count.

At the same time for me, without any doubt, I can not deny in any way shape of form I am trans. That there is NOTHING I can do change that simple fact. And, the path I am on, as scary as it is, has been working out far better then the one I was on.

Quote from: KathyLauren on October 12, 2016, 03:03:50 PM
Once in a while, I will have a "WTF am I doing" moment.  It doesn't last more than 10 seconds, though, and then I come to my senses.

Lol...this would be my response as well.
It was once in a while up until one year in transition. Now it is not at all really.
I've changed my name and ID everywhere. I have started to establish myself in a new life with a new persona.
I care for myself like I never did before and I know a measure of peace and happiness.
We all have doubts from time to time.
If a doubt creeps in just ask yourself, would you really want to go back?

Looks like today is one of those days.  Dysphoria and massive rejection by my family has me really down right now, and it's hard to see up to where I was just a couple days ago.  That sort of thing makes me doubt what I'm doing, but I'm not so down as to be suicidal, which is where I was when I started this ride.

It'll get better.  It can't get much worse, and I refuse to let the darkness win.  It's not enough to take me down.

Nope, never ever. I will have the ultimate climax of mine completed in 13 days when I have SRS. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: JoanneB on October 14, 2016, 09:26:19 PM
Without a doubt for me it is way too often count.

At the same time for me, without any doubt, I can not deny in any way shape of form I am trans. That there is NOTHING I can do change that simple fact. And, the path I am on, as scary as it is, has been working out far better then the one I was on.

I'm very similar to you Joanne.  I'm always questioning moving forward.  It seems more like I'm slowly getting dragged along.  First dutasteride, then spiro and now low dose E.  Going all the way to a full transition scares the heck out of me.  It's not that I don't think I'm trans.  54 years of this is enough to convince me.  It's just the social implications and how my wife and children will cope with this.  So far my wife hasn't given me much confidence.

The only thing I'm sure about is that I'm really tired of all this and I don't know if I have the energy to pull it off.  There's just so many things that I would need to do and people I would need to confront to possibly succeed at this.   All I know is life isn't easy for trans people.

Sorry to be a downer,
Paige

   

Quote from: Michelle_P on October 14, 2016, 10:17:37 PM
Looks like today is one of those days.  Dysphoria and massive rejection by my family has me really down right now, and it's hard to see up to where I was just a couple days ago.  That sort of thing makes me doubt what I'm doing, but I'm not so down as to be suicidal, which is where I was when I started this ride.

It'll get better.  It can't get much worse, and I refuse to let the darkness win.  It's not enough to take me down.

Hi Michelle,

So sorry to hear about your bad day.  I hope things get better.

All the best,
Paige

Quote from: Paige on October 14, 2016, 10:30:24 PM
I'm very similar to you Joanne.  I'm always questioning moving forward.  It seems more like I'm slowly getting dragged along.  First dutasteride, then spiro and now low dose E.  Going all the way to a full transition scares the heck out of me.  It's not that I don't think I'm trans.  54 years of this is enough to convince me.  It's just the social implications and how my wife and children will cope with this.  So far my wife hasn't given me much confidence.

The only thing I'm sure about is that I'm really tired of all this and I don't know if I have the energy to pull it off.  There's just so many things that I would need to do and people I would need to confront to possibly succeed at this.   All I know is life isn't easy for trans people.

Sorry to be a downer,
Paige

dear Miss downer, I'd try not to worry, It took me 65 years to confront this. Your in between a rock and a hard place. You jump off a bridge because you've wasted so much time getting here or you jump off a bridge because you never get there. Talk about a cruel twist of fate.

I've been so incredibly lucky.
My partner has been amazing and our daughter as well.
I was the stay at home parent so we already had a role reversal thing going.
We did a lot over the years as a threesome including running a small at home business.
There have been some difficulties we had to face as a family that sometimes makes the challenges of transition seem easy.
I came out in our community through the local art scene and I think it is easier for artists to accept trans people.
Artists can think more abstractly and outside of the normatives we struggle with.

I think about it a bit more lately due to being right in the midst of deciding on GRS; choosing a surgeon, paying for electrolysis around the surgery site, deciding on a date etc.

I'm scared of surgery, I've been through three and know how much recovery is gonna suck and I've experienced some permanent loss of sensation in each case. No matter that I also know I recover faster than most girls and believe I will be so much more comfortable day to day. The risks of complications and less than perfect outcomes do scare me.

And then I think about the alternative so it's fair to say it's crossed my mind and also I'm not considering stopping. HRT has made such a huge difference in my life so there's no going back. I could be happy enough continuing as I am but I also feel I've learned that settling for happy enough has always amounted to shortchanging myself and now it's time to accept that joy and comfort are not only possible but within reach.

Quote from: SadieBlake on October 16, 2016, 08:47:32 AM

And then I think about the alternative so it's fair to say it's crossed my mind and also I'm not considering stopping. HRT has made such a huge difference in my life so there's no going back. I could be happy enough continuing as I am but I also feel I've learned that settling for happy enough has always amounted to shortchanging myself and now it's time to accept that joy and comfort are not only possible but within reach.

I find this is so true for me.
When I started, being happy with the bare minimum of hormone therapy seemed possible. After a few months I came to the same understanding,following through and to at least try to achieve what I really wanted which is a full transition.
I wanted to start slow and not have big plans, it would have been too overwhelming for my partner and daughter.
As time went on we all felt ok about my transition, I started planning FFS.
After surviving that and having good results I started plans for GAS ( gender affirmation surgery).
My family realized and understood that this was the most likely course. I think we all knew at the beginning that we needed time and that it was all a matter of timing.
So in answer to the OP's question, no I never ever really thought of stopping.
There have been difficult moments but I ride them all out.
I love this life and this is for keeps.