Thanks Jane Emily...I'll definitely do that.

Saira,

Find yourself the right therapist, once again, I am fortunate living in Seattle (pretty big trans community here).  So this means that there are several good options for therapists who understand and can work with transgender clients.  Not all therapists are cut from the same cloth.  Just as our experiences influence our perceptions and prejudices, this is the same for therapists.  After I came out to my then wife, we went to a therapist who was very much not supportive of LGBT people.  Unfortunately this was not something that was known until we were there, but it became obvious right away.  So please do some homework when you are looking for a good therapist.  I found a great one and he helped me learn more about myself.  It made my transition journey so much better.

As for my dad, I will admit I was surprised, but then people tend to soften as they get older. Unfortunately he died in an auto accident, if not I swear he would be sitting in the stands watching me play roller derby today.  That is just how he changed as he got older.  Your family will hopefully be there for you, especially if they love you.  That does not mean that they won't question your transition, or have questions or even resistance.  The "you" they have known will be changing into the "you" that you know you are.  And if they love and support you, then those relationships can survive transition. 

Just remember transition takes time and it is one of the most magical experiences you will ever go through.  There will be pain and heart ache, but there will also be joy and wonder.  Enjoy your journey <3

-Sarah

p.s. - you do have a lovely name

Thank you Sarah!

Quote from: Saira128 on November 27, 2016, 09:24:29 PM
I am so sorry that your wife reacted this way. I know it would have been very hard on you. I hope to God, your family will be more accepting.
       I haven't yet gone to a therapist. I guess, going to a therapist has such a sense of finalilty, that there is no coming back after.
    The problem with me is, I don't want to believe there is a problem. That's what is keeping me back.
    I wake up every morning, and wish that I would just be normal like everyone else around me. I cry myself to sleep every night, and hope that tomorrow will be different. But the feeling never goes.
      I think, eventually, I will fix an appointment with a therapist.
     Till then,
           Love,
            -Saira

Going to a therapist is something you should do and not make a great deal about it. It will help you, believe me. It will not define what's definitive in your life, you already know that.

For me, going to a therapist helped me, by giving me other people's perspectives, and how to react to them, so you won't get caught in more adverse reactions from family or friends and begin to doubt about yourself, so you can please everyone.

You are who you are, and no one can take that from you. If they love you, they will understand, but sometimes, you have to know what to say to them.

My ex partner asked me not to transition, because of our two year old son. As I am in an early stage of transition, the best way for me was to tell her that I'm not going to stop transitioning, but will use my male appearence (as long as I have it, and as it will take some time for changes to be visible) until the day I cannot do that anymore, or until the day I can talk to my son, and explain to him who I really am. I know it's not the best option, but it's one that allows me from continuing seeing my son, and allows my ex to be a part of my life, and go through my transition, seeing that the person inside is the same, only the outer shell will change.

Don't give up on yourself. I did that when I first knew I was transgender, at the age 16, and it was the worst thing I did with my life. I am now transitionning at the age of 38, and lost 22 years of my life, so that everyone else could be happy and comfortable with themselves.... except me.

Diana.

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Thanks for the support Diana. I'll be seeing a therapist soon.
      Love,
    - Saira.