I'm pretty sure I'm going to fit into this category. Now I have been pet sitting the last 2 weeks since making my decision to transition. With that said I haven't gotten a chance to shave my face. I will post an updated photo once I have (probably later tonight).

Do I have anything working in my favor or is it hopeless?!?



Loves [emoji182]❤️[emoji182]


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Quote from: Alora on November 29, 2016, 06:50:31 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm going to fit into this category. Now I have been pet sitting the last 2 weeks since making my decision to transition. With that said I haven't gotten a chance to shave my face. I will post an updated photo once I have (probably later tonight).

Do I have anything working in my favor or is it hopeless?!?



Loves [emoji182]❤️[emoji182]


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hormones will slim your jaw down. If it's soft tissue that's making it wide then hormones will take care of that but you will need a wig. They do have a medication that will regrow your hair ,but I can't think of the name. Im sorry to say, but you will need to get a nose job.

You have a few problem areas. The hair can be adjusted for. The nose is a little on the masculine side (like mine). You have a real positive in those eyes though. I don't usually do looks critiques (other than myself) but you have potential that maybe you aren't crediting yourself with. The beard has gotta go "Dodo bird."
Monica

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on November 29, 2016, 07:04:02 PM
hormones will slim your jaw down. If it's soft tissue that's making it wide then hormones will take care of that but you will need a wig. They do have a medication that will regrow your hair ,but I can't think of the name. Im sorry to say, but you will need to get a nose job.

I'm going to try to get insurance to pay for hair replacement surgery, but I have a few wigs picked out in case they decline.

I figured a nose job was in my future for sure. I'm hoping with some weight loss I'll lose the hoods on my upper eye lids too.


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Ok, shaving was a weird experience. I haven't shaved in nearly 12yrs.

Well.... here is me without the facial hair.




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Alora, Holy cow just losing the facial hair made a big difference. Call me the eternal optimist but nothing is hopeless if you want it bad enough. Jessica.

This topic came up in one of my support groups recently.  And the comment of the evening went to a bright, young, transgender woman.  When I heard it I automatically identified with it.  She said she has those days (and we all do really) when she looks in the mirror and says, "What the hell is that!"

A sense of humor is indispensable when dealing with this issue, I think.

I think your highest priorities should be electrolysis and weight loss, in that order.  Don't waste your time and money on laser - it won't work for you because your hair color is too light.  So start electrolysis immediately.  And start changing your diet so you can shed that extra weight - unfortunately it really shows on your face.  You do have very pretty eyes though!

And it's not hopeless.  It's never hopeless as long as you have discipline and patience.  That's what I always say.  The keys to a successful transition are discipline and patience.  But mostly discipline.  You must work hard, do tons of research, do many things outside of your comfort zone, sacrifice many comforts of life, and do it for months and years on end.  But if you really want this - if you really need this - you can do it.

Quote from: EmilyMK03 on November 30, 2016, 12:53:26 AM
"do many things outside of your comfort zone, sacrifice many comforts of life, and do it for months and years on end. 

I agree with this.

Don't underestimate what hormones can do.  But you will spend the next few years doing a lot of things that are a LONG way outside your comfort zone.  Mostly this has to do with the fact that you will be living between genders for a several years.

You will have a lot of difficult conversations with people.  You will be asking everyone in your life to call you by your new name. 

Some random examples of 'outside-comfort-zone' experiences are :

- Explaining to the the dentist whether you are on any new medication and what for

- Discussing with the blood bank whether you are eligible to donate blood

- First bra fitting while still presenting as a male

- Explaining to the makeup artist what you hope to get out of your lesson with them

- Spending time with clothing stylists going through women's clothes and fashion (side note - think A-lines/rouching/ruffles to create hip shape, and V-neck to make shoulders look smaller)

- Hundreds of times when you will be asked for a particular ID document, and the name on it does not match how you are dressed.

- When my regular hairstylist wasn't available at the busy hair salon; before I got a chance to chat with her, the fill-in unknowingly stuck a comb in my hair and flung my wig across the room

- Standing in a business meeting on the 44th floor wearing a skirt, introducing yourself to clients, and accidentally getting your own name wrong (inevitable, it will happen sometime)

- Arguing with airline check-in staff about whether you can travel because your passport is in one name, and your immigration visa is in another

- Being asked invasive questions about your genitals by strangers.  All.  The. Time.

- Being treated like you are delusional

- A waiting room full of people, and you are dressed (and passing fine) as one gender.  Then the receptionist calls out for you by your other name.

- Instructing the reception staff at your work on how you want them to handle people who ring and ask for you by your old name

- Watching people get in the confused loop of ..."ma'am... I mean sir.. I mean ma'am."  Other people turn around to see what on earth is going on.

- Interesting (but strange) changes in your own sexual disposition

- Innocent young kids coming up to you on the train and asking you "are you a boy or a girl?"

- Ask where the toilets are.  People point you towards one. You walk into the other.

- Sitting in a nail salon getting your nails done.  Everyone can see you are trans.  You don't care.

- You go to the doctor with nausea.  They ask where you are at in your menstrual cycle.  You have to explain why you don't have a menstrual cycle.

- Going through TSA at an airport.  Having to have the 'I am transgender' discussion in front of a crowd of other people when the body scanner fails you as both a male and female.  Then having to get felt up by a stranger.....  every time.

- Having to deal with creepy ->-bleeped-<-s

- Getting in arguments with 'trans-hostile' drag performers who call themselves '->-bleeped-<-s', 'she-males' or 'chicks with dicks'.

- Being treated like the LGBTI poster girl for your work, when you just want to get on with your job.

There's loads more, but you get the picture.  Provided you are confident, keep your sense of humour, and get along well with people - I think you will be fine.

Good luck !!

 I was not a big fan of "in between" time. The switching back and forth can be hard to take. As I look back on the steps it takes to make the transition there is a lot to be scared of, there is a lot to get used to, but you know, it is also exciting, fun at times, and above all, satisfying in the end. You have to trudge through the times when you are discouraged. You have to be patient and you have to stay positive. Another important help for me has  been to confide in people who understand what you are going through. Coming on this site, asking for help and trying to help others has been great for dealing with my gender dysphoria.
Let me just add one thing. It is hard, but it is really a wonderful thing to reinvent your life. I mean I am 59 years old and a lot of folks my age are preparing for the rocking chair. Instead, I am starting a whole new life. I want to live like I have never wanted to live before. I guess I have worked hard to be more passable. I don't pass sometimes, but as I have traveled down this road, I accepted being seen as a transgender woman and it made me relax and enjoy life even more. If you are destined to transition, hold your head up high and don't give into fear.
Monica

You have beautiful eyes, they are a nice shape too. Good proportions in your face. The only thing that's "off", is the nose. Lucky you! I had to do a full FFS. 

Indeed, the electrolysis. If you want to start, better start yesterday as it takes so much time. (think in years)

Well in regards  to height and size i used to have the same concerns  but  in the chemist the other day there was this tall big boned ( i guess) cis woman at cirst i thought she was trans  but no she wasn't  , she was as tall as me , solidly  built  great calves,  good looking too
This is the third time I've  encountered this ,  i,ve also seen female body builders in my gym one had delts that put mine to shame so i don't  think size really matters  , the face does , the voice  and of course  confidence , but other than that there are plenty  of big built women
one thing I've  really noticed is that cis women have very full hamstrings  those really make the legs , but you know if you want your waist to look smaller  build up the gluteus medius so they become wider than where the legs are joined to the torso , also build up the thigh muscles
do lots of leg work and neglect the upper body in so much as  just doing basic exercises to keep in tone , and i think with the addition of hrt fat  ,could look good
I myself dont intend to lose all muscle as for me a female face with a muscular  body would  help in passing as a female body builder   😂....though i,m not sure i will care 
Alora as 2cherry commented  your face has that oval shape ,  and you have good lips too if you do hrt and surgery  i think you would do very well, you are quite lucky
Me i will not see any of my old face when i go down that path ....that is how much work i will need

I'd love to say I'm perfectly happy with who I am and don't give a ->-bleeped-<- about the perception of total strangers, but come on.  We're transitioning.  The whole reason we are transitioning is because we're patently not happy with what we are and we're sick of people calling us "sir" and "bud" all the time.  I manage a gas station, I get easily about two-thousand people through my door in a shift, when the company does give me the green light to present in my gender (long political battle there, whole other story), I'm going to be presenting in work clothes and not anything terribly pretty.  My facial features and my voice are pretty dudely, even when I do try, so there's gonna be a lot of side-eye and ->-bleeped-<--talk that I'm not looking forward to.  If I weren't constantly in the public eye ten hours a day, I'd be fine with being in between, but that is not the case, so I've gotta grit my teeth and plow through the next year so I can get some FFS going.  By then the hormones will have had about 15 months to do their thing and the rest I'll wind up going under the knife for.

There's a solution to everything, but sometimes the solution involves a long and ugly journey.  I've seen myself in full presentation, and it's wonderful!  It's there, I've got it, you've got it, and in good ol' American Capitalism, it's gonna take some cold hard cash to counteract your genetics.  Stop wasting and start saving, stop doubting and start planning, stop taking people's ->-bleeped-<- and start trying to become.

based from my experience no matter how pretty or passable you are you will never be truly free and happy if you care too much about what other people would say... No matter how passable you are some mean spirited people will find a way to dig on who you are and out you.... Dont give them the power..... For the round angular face you can consider long front layers and lighter hair color to soften your features and if you have the budget consider ffs... U dnt have to to it all together but little by little.... Voice and face ( forehead brow bossing), adam's apple are the biggest outer.... Boobs and genitals are not on display in public.... Body you can diet and wear undergarments to give you the feminine form even without surgery....Goodluck!