I'm going to try making this as short as possible. I was about 12 when I first started questioning my gender, but it never really concerned or bothered me much. I was just curious. I would sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a male and I always kind of liked the idea. I never looked into it much though and brushed it off as nothing but curiosity.

Fast forward about 5 years later, and it started to bug me a little more. I was wondering more often what being a male would be like, and I loved the idea. But still, I brushed it off as nothing but curiosity. I never exactly hated my body, but I didn't love it either. Looking back now, I never was a traditionally feminine person. I had a very hard time relating with other females and was always pretty lonely because of it. People would say that I was just a tomboy, and I agreed with them. So I left it at that.

The beginning of this year was when it started to finally hit me that something wasn't right, but I still brushed it off as nothing. The thoughts of being a male were more constant, and my style slowly started to become more 'me'. I cut off my hair and stopped doing my makeup as often, and I felt so much better about myself.
A few months ago was when it started getting bad. I had more trouble looking in the mirror. I felt disgusted and uncomfortable with what I saw. The thoughts about being a male were become so frequent that it started to depress me. I would look at guys and get extremely jealous. I started wearing more men's clothing and started altering my appearance to make myself look more masculine. I loved it. It felt right.

I'm very lucky to have supporting parents, so I told them about what I've been going through and they were okay with it and suggested I look into getting a therapist. I was able to find someone who is a specialized gender therapist, and I'm seeing them for the first time on Monday. The problem I'm dealing with now is, I feel like I'm doing this all too fast. It's only been two months and I already desperately want to start on T or at least try it out and see if it's for me. It's all I'm concerned about right now. I'm just so tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. I want to be happy with who I am, and I feel like this might be the right path to take.

Nope, not too fast at all.

It's not unusual to start HRT soon after therapy -- sometimes after a couple of sessions, rarely as long as six months.

Quote from: Sophia Sage on December 09, 2016, 01:16:44 AM
Nope, not too fast at all.

It's not unusual to start HRT soon after therapy -- sometimes after a couple of sessions, rarely as long as six months.

That makes me feel a lot better. Thank you!

Hi, Reading this post is very strange for me as I could of written it myself. We are certainly not alone in this journey and how our realisations have occurred. You are not going too fast and if you feel like you are, then it's ok to pause and take a breath. How old are you now??

I'm 29 and am finally doing something about my feelings and even I have days when I think it's going too fast. It's natural. Just listen to yourself, carry on dressing in the clothes that you feel most comfortable in. Try not to get jealous of other guys, you never know what they think about their bodies. But you have your body and you do have the opportunity to change it, the help is there. Good luck mate and just be happy. That's what I intend to do!!

Casey

Quote from: AlwaysCasey on December 09, 2016, 01:58:14 AM
Hi, Reading this post is very strange for me as I could of written it myself. We are certainly not alone in this journey and how our realisations have occurred. You are not going too fast and if you feel like you are, then it's ok to pause and take a breath. How old are you now??

I'm 29 and am finally doing something about my feelings and even I have days when I think it's going too fast. It's natural. Just listen to yourself, carry on dressing in the clothes that you feel most comfortable in. Try not to get jealous of other guys, you never know what they think about their bodies. But you have your body and you do have the opportunity to change it, the help is there. Good luck mate and just be happy. That's what I intend to do!!

Casey

Thanks for the reply! I'm 19, so I have plenty of time to figure it all out. I've just always been the type of person to rush into things which probably isn't the best thing to be doing right now haha
Thank you and good luck to you as well

Quote from: strangemagic on December 09, 2016, 12:38:18 AM
I'm going to try making this as short as possible. I was about 12 when I first started questioning my gender, but it never really concerned or bothered me much. I was just curious. I would sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a male and I always kind of liked the idea. I never looked into it much though and brushed it off as nothing but curiosity.

Fast forward about 5 years later, and it started to bug me a little more. I was wondering more often what being a male would be like, and I loved the idea. But still, I brushed it off as nothing but curiosity. I never exactly hated my body, but I didn't love it either. Looking back now, I never was a traditionally feminine person. I had a very hard time relating with other females and was always pretty lonely because of it. People would say that I was just a tomboy, and I agreed with them. So I left it at that.

The beginning of this year was when it started to finally hit me that something wasn't right, but I still brushed it off as nothing. The thoughts of being a male were more constant, and my style slowly started to become more 'me'. I cut off my hair and stopped doing my makeup as often, and I felt so much better about myself.
A few months ago was when it started getting bad. I had more trouble looking in the mirror. I felt disgusted and uncomfortable with what I saw. The thoughts about being a male were become so frequent that it started to depress me. I would look at guys and get extremely jealous. I started wearing more men's clothing and started altering my appearance to make myself look more masculine. I loved it. It felt right.

I'm very lucky to have supporting parents, so I told them about what I've been going through and they were okay with it and suggested I look into getting a therapist. I was able to find someone who is a specialized gender therapist, and I'm seeing them for the first time on Monday. The problem I'm dealing with now is, I feel like I'm doing this all too fast. It's only been two months and I already desperately want to start on T or at least try it out and see if it's for me. It's all I'm concerned about right now. I'm just so tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. I want to be happy with who I am, and I feel like this might be the right path to take.

Hi Reading

You are going to see an expert to help organise your thoughts on how your are feeling. Everyone reacts differently to therapy some like it some don't. Hopefully you will get some benefit and the therapist will help you explore these kinds of issues. It is fantastic that you have supportive parents. I am in my early 50's and still think I am going to quick ha ha ha  The only thing you are doing quickly is getting some help.

Take care
Liz

You are right on schedule.  After all there is no schedule to follow so it can be whatever you feel comfortable with.   About your therapy session on Monday - BE HONEST, BE OPEN.  Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (yes those three are different).  Your therapist can guide you through all of this.

"T" is a very powerful hormone.  Once it does it thing (specifically your voice) it's tough to go back.

Keep us updated.

- A friend on the internet,
Dee