Hello all...
Am brand new here, 57 years old and am still quite in the closet, even though I have been for some 13 (or more) years. In short I am the male parent of 2 boys and married, but have shaved my legs and underarms, and painted my toenails for years. My wife just thinks I'm different, and I certainly am. However...I know that the person inside is a female and have known for a long time. I struggle daily with the choices I have made and the facade I keep, but it seems that I keep searching for ways to come out. I just cant bring myself to fully step out and hope there are some avenues I con pursue in the mean time to help me forward. Any help I can find here will be...truly appreciated.

~ Branwen 

Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately fear of coming out is one of the most difficult things that many of us face. It took facing death at the age of 23 to force me out of the closet and with others, weakening as the result of years of discomfort. We have members who waited to long and as the result, health issues now limit or eliminate medial intervention other than therapy. The strange thing is while coming out is intense, it's far more difficult to remain in the closet. When you are ready, you will come out but until then, you are still welcome to share here.

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Thanks Dena,

I guess I am wondering where I should start. I mean, I believe my female partner would be relatively open to my coming out, but would have reservations regarding our 2 boys, aged 19 & 12. I am definitely worried about how my change affects those around me and am so soft hearted about hurting their feelings....I am actively looking for a therapist in my area but they are difficult to come by in rural Georgia. It would be quite a trip to find therapists versed in LGBTI in this area. I hope my search here with you all can help me in some way. 

Some therapist will work using Skype over the internet. I used it all the time to talk with Mariah - another moderator and I knew her for over a year before I met her in person. The other option will be to travel to a city near you. On of my therapist was 40 miles away from me in Los Angles which was about a 2.5 hour trip in rush hour.

Now days, not only are kids taught to be more accepting in school, but sometime there are 2 or 3 kids transitioning in their school. We are relatively rare with transsexuals at 1 in 600 and I am not sure of the numbers for non binary, but it's not uncommon to find a pocket of us. You might discover your boys are somewhat familiar with this already. Just make sure they know you will be the same person and you will still be there for them.

Hi Branwen 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Branwen,

Welcome to the site.

Dena has made some good suggestions and ideas.

I agree that kids tend to be better with the idea of the trans community than adults. I actually just came out to my younger two daughters this past week end and was amazed at how supportive they are. Perhaps more so than their mother and she is pretty impressive. I will admit, girls seem to be cooler with the idea(not sure if it is true but from my view).

I think that the therapist is the most important, biggest step. They can help you make your decisions and safely guide you. I think the biggest question at this point is how important is it to you to explore and maybe become the person you feel is inside. It is not an easy path. However, it can change your life.

Keep asking questions of yourself, to us and your eventual therapist. Just asking yourself can lead you to a very short path of nowhere.

I wish you love, acceptance and a smooth journey, wherever it takes you.

With warmth,

Joanna

Hello Branwen,

You have made a great first step, and I am sure you will move forward.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you all dearly. I truly feel much more relaxed in my moving forward and at ease with your warm welcome and words of encouragement. You are making this transition for me feel much more realistic and possible with your support. Thanks again!

~ Branwen
 

Quote from: Branwen on December 08, 2016, 08:24:01 PM
Thanks Dena,

I guess I am wondering where I should start. I mean, I believe my female partner would be relatively open to my coming out, but would have reservations regarding our 2 boys, aged 19 & 12. I am definitely worried about how my change affects those around me and am so soft hearted about hurting their feelings....I am actively looking for a therapist in my area but they are difficult to come by in rural Georgia. It would be quite a trip to find therapists versed in LGBTI in this area. I hope my search here with you all can help me in some way.

Don't underestimate your kids. Coming out to mine was, I thought, the hardest to reveal to. But as usual, they are supportive and hold no prejudices. They amaze me every day, and it makes me extremely proud that I could be the father of two amazing people.

Here is a listing of online therapists that may help due to your location. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=121007.0

Hi Branwen,

Congratulations on coming out to yourself, which surely is step 1

Kids are amazing - never underestimate them

Sno.