A few things happened this week that helped us feel good about ourself.

In preparation for a special Christmas music program, we got our hair trimmed. The back is now a couple inches past our shoulders. The woman cutting it put tresses of it up with pastel hair clips while she worked which made us feel feminine. Seeing it all round with a small mirror looking in the big mirror showed how pretty it can be brushed out and how feminine it can be. This is the one way we can publicly express me-Amanda that our wife can handle.

During rehearsal, one of the women sitting behind us leaned over and told us how jealous she is of our hair and how she was tempted to braid it right there. I-Amanda was so tempted to tell her to go ahead, but Maleme reined me in.

It was the weekend our wife visits her family while we do Christmas prep tasks here. We worked from home one day and got to be myself in dresses and skirts  and sleep in a nightgown for most of the past few days.

We also make use of the Christmas time to shop for me-Amanda. We save up a little every weeks and have a spree a couple of times a year. This is a time when it feels safer to be shopping since are in male mode in public. We got a cute red cardigan and a new dress. We took a chance and got a sheath dress with a hemline above the knees. It makes me-Amanda feel so pretty to see ourself in it. (Though we have to wear tights or take off our glasses and stand far away from the mirror to not see the ugly hair on our legs     We have learned to somehow mentally photoshop out Maleme's beard ) We had thought that our legs would be too fat or our knees to knobby to look good with such a short hem, but I-Amanda like how we look.

So all in all, lots of stuff to help me feel better.  The one fly in the ointment is our director wanting us to wear concert black instead of our robes (sort of like a dress, at least kinda androgynous) which we are not looking forward to. We will be so jealous of the women in their long, elegant dresses while we are stuck in a back suit.

How long have you been in the process of finding yourself honey?

I remember well the mental photoshop days.

And the rest of what you are describing too.

Thanks for sharing it with us

Maybe you'll rock that black suit. 
Are you able to do anything else subtle that might make you feel better about your body? Like shave or wax your body hair? Many male-identified people do this sort of "manscraping" just for aesthetics, so it won't out you, if the body hair makes you uncomfortable.

Satinjoy,
     We knowingly started on this journey about 5 years ago after watching our father slipping away from a degenerative disease and saw how short life is and starting acknowledging that cross dressing is just a part of who we are. About 3 years ago, we had what felt like a divine revelation that we are somewhere on the trans spectrum, but did not have the concepts to define things even that vaguely. But, it feels like we have been on the journey ever since we got out on our own; we just did not know the nature of the journey at the time.

CV,
     Hair removal is a tender subject that triggers our wife's fears that it is just the first step towards a full transition. We do shave off what shows if we are wearing long pants and shirt: the backs of hands and feet, a little bit around the ankles, and the tufts on the very top of the chest that show in a high scoop neck and it helps some. We underdress in panties during the day a few days a week.