I doubt if I feel it as strongly as you do, but, yes, the terror is there. I wore my gender role as a suit of armour. As long as I stayed inside it, I was protected. Now the armour is gone and I am exposed. Heck, yes, it is scary!
I don't know what lies ahead. I don't know how to be a woman, only that I have to try. The future could be beautiful or it could be horrible. But it could be beautiful. All I know for sure is that that suit of armour didn't fit very well. And now that I have been out of it for a while, I can't ever put it back on. I just can't.
So I have to go forward without it. I will muddle my way forward because there is no going back. If there be monsters, I will slay them or die trying. It is a difficult road we are on. But if there be beauty, I will revel in it.