So I know that 2016 was pretty crappy and stressful for a whole lot of external reasons...but I'm not thinking about that here. Looking back at the year what were the highlights, or lowlights, or great leaps forward or stumbles, or personal victories for 2016.

For myself, I booked my GRS in February for late November with Andrew Ives in Melbourne. Yes, his waiting list is that long! I felt very detached from the decision at first, probably because GRS day was so many months away.

I had plenty to keep me preoccupied though...work and art/cartooning. Around the middle of the year I could have lost my job due to funding but my employer ended up landing me a very significant full time role instead. I went from 3 days a week to 5 and the extra money was certainly a bonus, especially heading into GRS.

There was lots of logistics to plan for the GRS as it got closer, and that along with everything else kept me very busy but did reduce significantly my time on this forum. After a chat with Cindy I decided it would be best, sadly, to step down from being a Moderator here...I really needed to focus on myself and my needs as GRS got closer.

Still haven't been able to make a break through with my sister and her 12 year old daughter remains unaware that she has an aunt, for three years now. This is sad, my sister would deny it but I consider us estranged.

As an aside, I took up ten pin bowling with some friends...I'm only moderately good at it but am really enjoying it and even have my own hot pink and black bowling ball! Live your life folks.

Then GRS was upon me, just at the busiest time of my new role at work fully bloomed too. But work was understanding and supportive. Next thing I was in Melbourne and it's now three weeks later...! So far, so good. I had minimal pain and am healing nicely. At a personal level I feel very good about where I am now, even if the road to this moment got a bit stressful and overwhelming at times.

How was your personal 2016 journey.

Quote"It was the year of fire... the year of destruction... the year we took back what was ours... It was the year of rebirth... the year of great sadness... the year of pain... and the year of joy. It was a new age. It was the end of history. It was the year everything changed." - from a script by J Michael Straczynbski

Other than that...

I broke down.   I nearly ended myself.  I got therapy.  I came out, first to my wife and youngest daughter, then to family, and now the world. I started HRT.   I'm in the middle of changing my name and gender marker.

I'm accepted by almost everyone.  I often pass on casual contact.  There have been many rough spots in the year, points where I doubted myself, where I hesitated and was almost lost.  I'm finally accepting myself.

(There's a whole other thread where I'm dumping all this in detail, for the morbidly curious.  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,215456.0.html )


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My 2016 has had its highs and lows. I started the year only recently separated from my wife and kids, not knowing how deep the Trans-rabbit hole went for me.
First time out in public(+), meeting and making friends in my local support group(+), hair transplant (+), the GIC grind(-), being disowned by my mother using the most hateful words(---) getting out more as the real me (+), HRT trial (+), coming out to friends, family and colleagues (+++), reaching a decision after more than 2 years that I would transition (+).
Through all these, the Susans' crowd has been there, sometimes to listen to my rants, other times just knowing others out there have also been along this road is enough.
The last 2 years have been, despite my personal progress, completely awful, and many times I came close to ending things.
2017 holds the promise of hope and some light after dark days.
I'm sending my love to all of you that 2017 brings all that you need. X

It was a quiet year for me with one notable exception. 

After admitting to myself last year who I really was, 2016 was the year that I came out to my wife.  I discovered the true depth of her love and support for me, which has been totally amazing.  I also discovered what a true friend my next door neighbour is.  I have come out to several old Internet pen pals, with positive (or at worst noncommittal) responses.  I started therapy this year and booked my appintments for HRT early for in the new year.

I completed (or almost completed: I need to do one more test run, if I ever get a clear night) a major electronic and software project for my hobby of astronomy.  Coming out, resaerching trans stuff and hanging out on Susan's Place have eaten into my hobby time, but it was good to get this project finished.  It's been hanging over me for more than a year.

I was sued for divorce. My wife and daughter will not be seen with me in public. This is my only regret with my transition.

September I had FFS and I am very glad I did it , I went alone. My face looks feminine and much younger. More importantly the male markers are gone. I look at my face now. It takes a while to get use to a new face.

November I had GCS. My genital dysphoria is gone .  I did not realize ahead of time just how much it changes things with others that I know. It changes how I see myself too. I am happy about the change and get butterflies in my tummy when I think about it.

I feel much more comfortable in my skin. I am pretty happy with who I am.

There has been a lot of change in 2016.

This has been a breakthrough year for me. Yes some very great highs and some scary lows. I along with my wife have come to terms of who I am and that we are not only ok with that but we both feel that Anne is such a better person that there is no going back. Began hrt in June, have cried more than in the previous half a century, came out fully to all but a small handful of folks and am out full time and am beginning discussions with my therapist around completing transition. Not bad for one year, especially since two years ago I had never met Anne. I can not give a big enough thank you to all of you at Susan's Place. There is absolutely no way that I/we could be where we are now without you but there is a significant chance that I would not have lived through it for not the timely help from some of you. Thank you! May next year be a blessing to you all. - Anne

This was the year that I decided to change my road to transition from a slow crawl to more of an express lane to myself as Donna. I almost went ahead with HRT without telling my wife, which now I realize could be a big mistake in trust. My primary care physician knows that I am transgender now and my preferred name is Donna.

Anne, I will be asking you about how to enlist the support of my wife of 41 years. Formerly I lied to her 3 years ago when she asked if I wanted to live as a woman. My untruthful but easy reply was that I simply want to wear women's clothes. Of course I want to live the rest of my life as a woman. I am working on how to enlist my wife's support and to keep my marriage to her intact. I hope to start HRT in 2017 with her blessing. I just need to find a way to tell her how, at the same time I love her deeply to the ends of the earth, and that living a lie pretending to be a man is making me a very depressed person.

Pretty much been pretty good year. Although I was sexually assaulted in August and had one relationship break up early in the year. The end of the year has went really well. I entered another relationship and became engaged later in the year with my fiancé. Then had my SRS in October and everything is going well from that. The end of the year is going to end with my fiancé coming to spend Christmas with me. Other than the really dark period in August though it has been a good year. Hugs
Mariah

This year was tough for me. I was able to breeze through the first year of my transition with very few hiccups - found a good therapist who got me what I needed in a timely fashion, got on hormones faster than I anticipated, had top surgery and was able to pay for it all, didn't experience any big issues with getting documents updated. Even got in very early at the 1 year mark to get my referrals for SRS.

And then everything stalled this year. I made a bad decision by putting all my eggs in one basket with the first surgeon I consulted with who ultimately never got me scheduled. By the time I realized how off schedule things were, my insurance had changed and the other surgeon I had been considering moved somewhere more expensive. It was suddenly going to cost me an extra $5k at least to have surgery. For the whole middle chunk of the year I was very, very depressed because of all this. I have never felt I needed any kind of medication for depression or anxiety, but I did feel like I needed them in order to function during this period.

But things are looking up now. The delay gave me some extra time to think and investigate other options. I'm going to have surgery in the spring of next year with one of the best surgeons in the world for FTMs. I'll get to spend a few weeks traveling in eastern Europe, which is a place I've always wanted to visit. Once surgery is over and done with, I'll have the freedom to leave my job that I hate and move somewhere new with a lower cost of living.

So while the majority of the year was kind of bleak for me, I feel like I'm leaving it on a high note. It seems like that theme is echoed by many here.

I got a lot of work coming in, so I barely had time to worry about stuff, and lots of work is good so it was a good year from that perspective. It was stressful deal with that much of it but that's the nature of my business.

I started transition and the hormones immediately improved my mental state - literally, not just some placebo effect because I was expecting nothing good to happen on the mental front.

I've given up worrying about what's going to come of my home situation. It seems like it always ends up in the same place after stress and anger and expecting different outcomes from the same actions is insane. I'm talking from the perspective of living with someone who used to be a partner. Regards where I live my landlords have been borderline psychotic with their treatment of me, but again that issue has exhausted itself in my mind since there's nothing I can do right now. I'm looking for somewhere else to live but that could take forever around here.

My sister became pretty friendly, as did my aunt and uncle - and a rift developed between them and my mother over her opinion of my transition. Nobody's told me exactly what it was she said but the fallout suggests something epic and un-motherly, lol. She hasn't had the guts to say it to my face yet though. We don't get along, there's some resentment there and she's chosen to not say a word to me all year. I'm fine with that.

On the whole it's not been an eventful year for me, but a lot seems to be going on in the bigger picture. None of it inspiring too much confidence in the human race

Up until around Aug this year sucked. I wasn't going anywhere and I was stuck in a dead end job.

Then I found out about welding school and started up the end of September. However, the best part of my year was November 17th. That's when I discovered who I really am, and found the girl I was always meant to be. And I found you ladies [emoji16] and the year has only gotten better.


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 I for the most part feel pretty lucky, I havent lost any family I have came out to. I have lost some male friends, but have gained female and trans friends that are far more real and rewarding than the ones I ve  lost. My goal of coming out to employer by the end of year has been reached , sort of.
my HR rep knows, I will come out to manager upon reciept of new drivers licence and ident.
Emotionally  I have not felt better in my 58 year s on earth . The one thing that hurts alot is that my wife of 32 years , says she needs a man. we are trying to move forward as good friends. ...... but i am great-full for alot

I became a homeless transgender now I feel rebirth is upon me

Mmm what can I say?

The year started with hope and promise, an overseas trip planned to the WPATH conference Amsterdam and a visit to see my only surviving blood relative, my sister in the UK.

Work was a mass of reviews and cut backs and trying to balance an impossible budget while the government tried to reduce my staff. My stress was massive. Trying to secure funding for the site and dealing with the failure to do so added to the stress.

Good news about Susan herself buoyed me and my heart was blessed by the generosity being shown.

Then a cold that hung around and a husky voice that just lingered.......until I had my throat checked and the cancer was seen growing in my larynx. My refusal for surgery (total laryngectomy) and thinking through the alternatives.

Dealing with the medical system and finding my records included my dead-name, outing me. Taking on the establishment while feeling like crap but I wasn't going to let anyone else have to deal with such rubbish. Finding I had allies who supported me, even though they had never met a transgender person they opened their hearts to me and my concerns.

Finding I had senior medical consultants who were very uncomfortable around me because that had never met a transgender person; staring into a senior consultant's eyes and locking his gaze and saying very calmly "Put it this way, if you where in my clinic and I was uncomfortable treating a cisgender person like you. How would you feel at this moment?"

Seeing understanding dawn.

Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy slowly and progressively destroying my health. Chanting 'Always look on the bright side of life' as I limped down a corridor in so much pain that my feet could feel the pattern in the floor.

Refusing to cry.

Waking up in the middle of the night lonely and terrified and finding my Global Mods working as usual and they talk to me. Thank you Dena, Mariah, Joanna and of course Virginia, who has always been with me.

Recovering and getting stronger. Learning to eat and swallow with no taste buds or saliva. Finding out none of my clothes fit due to weight loss - yippeee shop for more!

Finding out that my vocal cords are destroyed and one has gone and the other is not all that happy so that I sound like a whispering husky horror movie extra. Finding out that no one cares what I sound like - least of all me

Realising that life is wonderful. Knowing that people love me. Knowing that I love them.

Talking to my surgeon and explaining that for 50 or so years of my life I have wanted to die; now that I have transitioned, I know what happiness is and I want to live.

Seeing understanding slowly dawn in his eyes.

Seeing life in a new way. The dawns are lovelier, the cold is colder, the heat is soothing and the flowers are more colourful.

Reading the despair from new members and not so new members and my wanting to cuddle you and help you. Knowing I cannot but I can try.

What was 2016 to me? Eventful!

I would not have missed it for the world. I learned how to be happy and content.

I learned what life means.

My love to all

Cindy

Ok Cindy, you win... 😊

It has been an interesting year full of great moments and also very dark times.

After years of trying we have been blessed with a wonderful baby girl in March! one of the absolute highlights of the year and she continues to bring happiness to my life.

At the same time, I was actually hit with postpartum depressions. Dealing with those also revealed my GD and I finally came out to my wife. She is supportive and struggling at the same time but so far things have been OK. Also came out to about 10 friends so far (super supportive), started Therapy and have HRT apt. scheduled for Jan 3rd. Absolutely noticed a ton of changes even without HRT. Lost 30 lbs too :-). Enjoy my female side a lot :-)

Work has been super crazy with a lot of travel and unfortunately has also been one of the triggers next to GD for severe depressions to the point where I was about to give up on everything.

So.. I have been bouncing around between overly happy and hitting rock bottom.

As with everybody here it's been a roller coaster year.
+ Came out to about 50 people, no bad reactions.
+ Started HRT 😄
- Stopped HRT 😞
+ Started HRT 😄
+ Spent a positive week as Denise in Florida
+ Became comfortable as Denise (this is huge for me)
- Almost had a total mental breakdown. 
+ 100% better now
+++ Right now I feel better than I've ever felt.  I didn't realize how CIS people feel.
+ Have come to detente with my wife.  Still issues but getting better, I think.
+ Formulating a plan for full-time.

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