Hi
After lurking around in many years I finally manage to register at Susans Place :-)
I am 57 years old, and I remember feeling beeing a girl since I was around 12 years old. A lot of make-up, clothes, shoes, lingeries and more has been bought and thrown away. Periodes of "deciding" not to do this anymore, but again it returns the need to be woman out in the world, to feel like, to bee seen as and so on. I have dreamed of this going away forever, taking a pill to always feel like a man..... but no... it comes back, the feelings the need and hope of becomming a woman also on the outside. To be able to go legally to the woman changing rooms, to marry a handsome and nice man, to feel physically right with breast, vagina .....  Is this possible or just a dream.
I have always felt I was not really a man. I have little hair on my body, nice legs, small feets, androgyne look and a very small penis. Many friends tells me I do look nice as a woman and in addition I have womanly mannerism and thoughts. So here I am, hoping to live my life as a woman. Dreaming of finding a man who I love and who loves me. Being able to make love, feel the passion, being treatet as a woman in every aspect.
But there are obstacles, I have children who I love, I also have a small heart desease and I wonder if estrogen, spiroactalone and progesteron are something that I should not take. Very nice if someone have knowledge in that area to share with me?
I do find it informative and interesting lurking around on this forum and I wish we could have had this information 20 years ago as I was then in GID treatment but unfortunately did not grab the chance :-( But this time maybee?
I know appearance is not everything but I would have love to have a "prewarning" how my face will look like after hormones and do anyone know a site where one can send in a picture and then you get it back with the "modifications" that hormones trigger? I am not worried about my body as it is pretty much female like and if the genes have some saying breastgrowth should be satisfactory :-)
Looking forward to get to know you in this forum and wishing you a Happy New Year and may your dreams come through :-)
Hugs from Mona   

Hi Mona,

Welcome! I'm glad you decided to participate on this site.  It is a wonderful resource. You are not alone! Your story sounds very familiar.

No one can offer you medical advice here, but depending on your condition, it may not necessarily preclude taking hormones. 

You can get "virtual FFS" at this site: http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/index.html.

Happy New Year to you as well!  I look forward to seeing you around!

With kindness,

Terri

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on December 30, 2016, 05:43:15 AM
Hi Mona,

Welcome! I'm glad you decided to participate on this site.  It is a wonderful resource. You are not alone! Your story sounds very familiar.

No one can offer you medical advice here, but depending on your condition, it may not necessarily preclude taking hormones. 

You can get "virtual FFS" at this site: http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/index.html.

Happy New Year to you as well!  I look forward to seeing you around!

With kindness,

Terri

Thank you :-) And by the way U look fantastic, I have seen your message in the forum and also the scary FFS procedure pictures... and I have to congratulate you, you look like a very beautiful woman :-)

Welcome to Susan's Place. Heart disease may not prevent you from taking HRT. We have at least one other member on the site who has taken Spiro for years in order to control her heart condition. Estrogen is a drug that at least in moderation may not be a problem but the primary restriction would be the risk of blood clots. As I am not a doctor and am unaware of the full extent of your heart issues, you really need to talk with a professional about the state of your health and HRT.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
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Hello Mona

Welcome and be shiny


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: MonaElisabeth on December 30, 2016, 05:10:17 AM
Hi

But there are obstacles, I have children who I love, I also have a small heart desease and I wonder if estrogen, spiroactalone and progesteron are something that I should not take. Very nice if someone have knowledge in that area to share with me?
I do find it informative and interesting lurking around on this forum and I wish we could have had this information 20 years ago as I was then in GID treatment but unfortunately did not grab the chance :-( But this time maybee?
I know appearance is not everything but I would have love to have a "prewarning" how my face will look like after hormones and do anyone know a site where one can send in a picture and then you get it back with the "modifications" that hormones trigger? I am not worried about my body as it is pretty much female like and if the genes have some saying breastgrowth should be satisfactory :-)
Looking forward to get to know you in this forum and wishing you a Happy New Year and may your dreams come through :-)
Hugs from Mona   

First off. Welcome. This is a good place to learn.  You are describing symptoms very similar to mine. Small penis. Did you have late descending testes? Any other deformities like oversize veins on the penis. Maybe a hole in the base of the shaft near the testes? You said you have small heart problems. How small. I had a deformed heart valve, congestive heart failure, High Blood pressure, Now low blood pressure. Arrhythmia, atherosclerosis. I also have diabetes. I ask this because these defects back up my belief I was poisoned from DES synthetic female hormones wherein the first trimester my mother was administered these hormones to protect against miscarriage or still birth.
Your age indicates you were born in the 50's when these hormones were regularly prescribed. I was born in 1951. The fact you had early recognition of you GID may be due to these hormones. I knew about 5 years old when I went to kindergarten and played almost exclusively with the girls, at seven I was asking my Mom to dress me in my sisters costumes. I wanted to be able to dance and wear cute costumes like my sister who was five years older. By twelve when my mother went to work, I used my colored pencils as makeup whenever I was alone. At 18 I would watch my sisters kids so I could put them to bed and then go dress up in her room. So we are not all that different which leads me back to the DES poisoning. What happens is somewhere around week ten in our development is when the hormones probably started. By then our gonads started making testosterone and we started growing boy genitals. So at the end of the first trimester we are born as boy because of the genetic markers and our genital development. But the second and third trimester is when the brain is formed. In my case and possibly yours my brain was formed on massive female hormones in dosages 3000 to 5000 times the dosage contained in a single birth control pill. A lot of the data is no longer available but our symptoms do seem to suggest. I suggest looking through this information, In particular DES Sons. http://desaction.org https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,84224.msg595675.html#msg595675 discusses the topic by Susans visitors.  HughE  has compiled an incredible amount of research  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=31816.
Now back to the questions. I take 14 heart related prescriptions a day. I thought I would not be able to begin HRT due to all that I take. But to my surprise and for the sake of my mind, I was able to begin HRT 4 1/2 months ago. I am on low dose but have been on spiro for CHF for the last 25 years so I got a bit of a head start. Thanks to Hugh because I was able to take his information to the doctor.  I also have two children, a boy who is now 30 and a daughter who is 27. They are my best friends and supporters. When I told them their advice to me was. "Well Dad, you have to live your life the way you were meant to? I have been married to my wife for 35 years and she is my second marriage. I have no desire to sleep with a man but if I could have all the surgeries, I am sure that would change. Because of all my meds, in particular blood thinners it would be a real danger to put my body under that kind of stress for FFS, GRS. The farthest I can go is getting an Orchi.

I can also help you with the second part of showing you an approximation of what you would like. All I need are some pictures and I can return them to you in a short amount of time. Often within minutes depending what I happen to be doing that day. Let me know if you would like to do that, ok.

Good wishes on your new beginning

Dawn

Hi Mona 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Quote from: DawnOday on December 30, 2016, 04:45:31 PM
First off. Welcome. This is a good place to learn.  You are describing symptoms very similar to mine. Small penis. Did you have late descending testes? Any other deformities like oversize veins on the penis. Maybe a hole in the base of the shaft near the testes? You said you have small heart problems. How small. I had a deformed heart valve, congestive heart failure, High Blood pressure, Now low blood pressure. Arrhythmia, atherosclerosis. I also have diabetes. I ask this because these defects back up my belief I was poisoned from DES synthetic female hormones wherein the first trimester my mother was administered these hormones to protect against miscarriage or still birth.
Your age indicates you were born in the 50's when these hormones were regularly prescribed. I was born in 1951. The fact you had early recognition of you GID may be due to these hormones. I knew about 5 years old when I went to kindergarten and played almost exclusively with the girls, at seven I was asking my Mom to dress me in my sisters costumes. I wanted to be able to dance and wear cute costumes like my sister who was five years older. By twelve when my mother went to work, I used my colored pencils as makeup whenever I was alone. At 18 I would watch my sisters kids so I could put them to bed and then go dress up in her room. So we are not all that different which leads me back to the DES poisoning. What happens is somewhere around week ten in our development is when the hormones probably started. By then our gonads started making testosterone and we started growing boy genitals. So at the end of the first trimester we are born as boy because of the genetic markers and our genital development. But the second and third trimester is when the brain is formed. In my case and possibly yours my brain was formed on massive female hormones in dosages 3000 to 5000 times the dosage contained in a single birth control pill. A lot of the data is no longer available but our symptoms do seem to suggest. I suggest looking through this information, In particular DES Sons. http://desaction.org https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,84224.msg595675.html#msg595675 discusses the topic by Susans visitors.  HughE  has compiled an incredible amount of research  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=31816.
Now back to the questions. I take 14 heart related prescriptions a day. I thought I would not be able to begin HRT due to all that I take. But to my surprise and for the sake of my mind, I was able to begin HRT 4 1/2 months ago. I am on low dose but have been on spiro for CHF for the last 25 years so I got a bit of a head start. Thanks to Hugh because I was able to take his information to the doctor.  I also have two children, a boy who is now 30 and a daughter who is 27. They are my best friends and supporters. When I told them their advice to me was. "Well Dad, you have to live your life the way you were meant to? I have been married to my wife for 35 years and she is my second marriage. I have no desire to sleep with a man but if I could have all the surgeries, I am sure that would change. Because of all my meds, in particular blood thinners it would be a real danger to put my body under that kind of stress for FFS, GRS. The farthest I can go is getting an Orchi.

I can also help you with the second part of showing you an approximation of what you would like. All I need are some pictures and I can return them to you in a short amount of time. Often within minutes depending what I happen to be doing that day. Let me know if you would like to do that, ok.

Good wishes on your new beginning

Dawn

Hi
Thansk for very good information. I am sorry to say that my mother unfartunately are dead and I cannot ask her about DES. I do not know if she took these kind of medications. I do not think that either veins or holes are present. But I do remember that my mother took me to a doctor regarding my late developement and small penis. My penis is max 11cm and the testes are small. I cannot perform an intercourse properly because I normally fell out. I think also due to the heart medisin I have got nearly impotent. I have got 4 children so nothing wroing with the ability to reproduce . I am 58 years old (born in 1958). I was seriously into sexchange in 1997 and was at a GID clinic. The concluded that I had gender problems but I myself "chickened" out. That was mostly because I then had a 7 year old son who I would not dissapoint. Later in life I have always felt like being a female and have had several times going out as a female. Always felt very good about being feminim, enjoying mens approval of me, and friends telling me how feminim I look. BUT several times I have desperately asked GOD to take this away... But I think it has getting stronger the last years and therefore I am now seriously thinking of becomming a physical woman (inside I am sure I am one). I dream about just being a normal woman, living a normal life... and living with a man, enjoying sex as a woman. I have felt a lot stronger wish for making love with men the last years....Do you know if I can benefit from any herbs before I eventiually are allowed to get hormones?
My heartproblem is only the coronars and the put a "stent" in one of them to keep it open. My psyical for is very good and I am fit :-) I do have some breastgrowth and I would love to experience how hormones or herbs may effect them and face and body :-) Where can i send my picture, it would have been very nice seeing what maybe can happen? I can also send you some pictures of me as a female. Any email-adress I can use?
I send you my best of love and wish you a Meryy Christmas
Hugs from Mona

Hi  Mona, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. I love a good lurker-come-in-from-the-cold story! Looking forward to seeing you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn