Well, my folks sat down with me and told me that it is my life. Then told me I could not come home to protect my little brother (small town) and because they feel at 21 it is time to 'kick me out of the nest', their words.

So now that means that if my brother can't put me up for, worst case, 3 months, gonna be in the streets.

Now for now, I am more worried about school. Anybody transition in college? If so, what did you do when? I am trying to put together some plans but I really don't know where to start. I think I can do some electrolosis in the next few months, along with voice lessons. But I have no car, and not alot of money. Any advice in this matter is extremly appreciated.

Perhaps I should preface this by saying $20 is a large sum.

From what I know of the costs of college... a flipping community college even... it is WAY to stinking expensive... Or in fewer terms, money is going to be in very short supply even without transition costs (which are themselves expensive.)

My "there has to be a better plan than this" plan:

• Figure out how to live cheap.
• If at all possible don't get a car, they cost way to much... go for a bicycle (it'll keep you in shape too, although you may freeze to the thing depending on where school is.)
• Get used books, always try to AVOID the new book costs as they are just insane. Making heavy use of the library may be feasible (and the book you need may never be there as well.)
• Find any job you can, probably more than one. (Hopefully you can make one job support yourself and the other for transition. ^shrug Probably wishful thinking.)
• I strongly suggest you be very careful with your time. (partying on Friday nights probably isn't prudent). You'll probably need whatever free time you can manage to 1. Sleep and recover. and 2. Study so your schooling isn't a waste.
• DO make sure you find stress relief somewhere.
• I am not sure what to do about housing, I'd suggest dorms and roommates but that, I strongly expect, would not work for a girl transiting.
• As far as personal safety goes your supposed to be smart enough (I'm sure you are ) to realize that you'll be intermixing with people from all walks and backgrounds meaning some are NOT going to treat you well if they should learn of your status. Simply crude unkind fact of the matter (as far as I understand it and human nature).

Gah. Well anyway just figure out how best to manage poverty and no free time and you'll do fine. ^{weak smile}

I will not comment on your Parent's behavior because nothing I can say is polite.

For what this is worth, I could not afford community college so...

You ARE strong and young enough to see this though.

Wise advice, Kimberley. As someone who worked through school, I can add on the job front that if you find a job where you can study at work, it may be worth it to take a lower paying job, because you'll be able to work more hours. I worked in the computer lab at school and that allowed me to study while I was being paid crap wages.

Often jobs on campus are a little more forgiving of a student's schedule as well.

And dorm-wise, many dorms have provisions for transitioning students. There may be a student housing advisor that you can talk to who can tell you. On the other hand, a dorm room may not be cheaper than off-campus housing. Have a look at cost, remembering to factor the commute into the cost. You might want to hook up with the LGBT centre on campus to see if there's a roommate situation you can step into. Or an off-campus LGBT centre, but be careful of rooming with non-students, it can mess up your time management.

Never buy a new book. Not even if the prof has changed editions that year. New editions usually don't have that much added over the old one. If you're in that situation, get a copy of the new edition from the library or from a classmate, and photocopy the table of contents and index to make sure you're on the same page as the class. Also, people drop classes and you may be able to get a used one later in the year.

Other cost-saving stuff: for food, prepare a big batch of something ahead of time, like stew or lasagna, and freeze portions (or eat it all week if you're not picky like me). I used to go down to the vegetable market and pick up the stuff that they were about to get rid of cheaply. Learn to love pasta.

For clothes, the used clothing store and Salvation Army store are good. You won't need killer outfits for school anyway.

Don't drink or smoke. It will take away both money and time for studying. The faster you can finish your degree, the less tuition you'll pay. (This is a do what I say, not what I did tip.)

Go to student financing and get a list of all bursaries and scholarships. Apply for anything you marginally qualify for. You'd be surprised at the number of unclaimed bursaries every year. You'll probably need to provide a financial statement for the ones that have poverty as a prerequisite.

If you start going nuts with all the cost-saving stuff, buy yourself some good food and make a nice dinner with lots of veg and fruit for dessert. The vitamins will perk you up, so it's not money wasted. I was on the east coast, so my treat was a lobster dinner during lobster season.

Good luck with it.

Dennis

     Hey there.   I used to work during collage too.  In fact I work on campus at the school's book store and later at a dry cleaners.  I found that (depending on the school)  there were more people of an understanding nature in relation to one's proxcimity to campus, though it seems to work flow the other way when it comes to how much you get paid.  You'll need to find balance. 
     The previous posts were right.   you would be absolutly insane to purchase new texts.  I was the person at the bookstore who bought student's books back at the end of the semester.  Here's how it works:  (if the bookstore participates)  Book stores contact book resellers and give them advanced notice of what used books they need, usually the semester before.  so at the end of the semester, when  students sell their books back there are quotas that exist on how many the reseller will need for the next semester.  Mind you. Reselling is a huge industry.  These quotas exist on a national scale and are updated to the day over private networks. so when these quotas aren't full books can be sold for a higher price than when the quota is close to being met.  (sorry for the ramble)  IN sumation: If you can sell your books early, before class has ended even. Your get more money! then go make friends with the slaker in the class and use their books, you know they haven't even broken the spines on some of them!  Also try getting in with a group of people that shares books.  It's not exceedingly reliable, but great for less challenging courses.

Also: Veggies good, veggies cheap!  Kudos on mentioning the bicycle!  As long as it rolls and needs no gasoline.  If you find a flat outside campus.  Keep the heat to a minimum while your there, off when your not, and ditch the A/C.  I lost so much money that way.

Hey good luck.  Sounds like you've got a good head on your sholders.

S

If you get stuck try and find someone else to live with, paying half is better than full rent. You need to get a part time job somewhere, maybe the cinema at night or something that is not going to take a lot of brain power as you will need that for school.

I never went to college so I dont know what else to suggest other than stay focused, dont panic and eat lots of 2 minute noodles.

Hope things work out.

Sara.

just something to consider ...  take a look at online schools.  I did it and it was great.  just requires a bit of self discipline to get the work done.  i finished a computer science degree in 2years while working fulltime in the military. 



ps sorry for spelling and typos. writing this on a pda.
[edit]Kimberly: Nothing more that a double post cleanup.[/edit]

Hey there Luana,

I'm really sorry that the situation doesn't seem as though it's going to be resolved in any form of favourable way.  I can't add anything more to the great advice and info that has already been given.

One thing is for certain though at least you know where you stand with your parents.

Steph

Hi Luana,

I'm in college too, so let me see what I can add:

I'm timing hormones so I can transition to full-time before grad school (still undergrad)... is it important that you're living full time before graduation? Preparing my body now to make the eventual transition more seamless seems to make sense. If you'll be living on campus, making aquaintances and coming into contact with a lot of people is inevitable, so it might be easier to just worry about HRT/electrolysis-laser/voice/etc while a student, and than go ft afterwards.

As for housing, if dormatories are the cheaper way to go, I would like to echo Dennis in saying that dorms are an option for transgendered people. I got my doctor to write a letter to the housing office, saying that I needed a private room for medical reasons. With that approach, no one in administration has to know a thing (if you don't want them to), and in my experience you should be given a single room, no questions asked. If you get a dorm room, DO be sure to try to get into a co-ed dormatory... there's nothing worse than living in a building full of boys. The only complication I ran into this way was showering (every three rooms had the same bathroom, which was icky and I had to be secretive about shaving). By the end of the year last year, between my "shower secrecy" and appearance, I think my fellow residents were conviced I was physiologically intersexed, haha. I've sinced transferred and commute from home, so it's no longer an issue, but if I had to go back to a dormatory I would be a lot less worried.

As for text books, I would recommend not only getting them used, but getting them online, where they can often be found even cheaper (but be careful of s&h!). Do you have any special skills or talents? You might consider having a little side business of your own, which always has the potential to "take off" and make other jobs unneeded. Remeber, there's NO reason you shouldn't be able to go to college, pay for transition needs, and the cost of living... if you really want it, there's always a way. Good luck, but live life as though you don't need luck!.

Well this has become my plan for now, I probably will start a university (I hope) next spring. I plan to start HRT this fall, and do electro during this. Not sure what i'll do for a job being tall and natuarly strong is the ability to walk on to construction.

Now I just got to figure out a not-to-exspensive university that will take my 2.7 average. Wish me luck!

Oh, the paperwork has been officially started for discharge. I found out there is even a chance for an honerable! Not sure what that means for the montgomery though. I'll keep on that though.

Anyways, thanks for the ideas, I will make this work somehow, just takes time. ^^

One way or another Luana, one way or another... (it will work)

Remember we're here when you need us

If you get an honorable you get the bennies. These may be reduced if you have been in less than two years. Rather it is a straight or medical makes no difference. If it is a medical you may be eligible for some benefits in that area such as help with things like insurance.

Cassie

Hello Luana,

Having a plan is the best way to go, and although the process will take time, maybe lots of time.  The fact that you have a plan will make the process easier.  A plan will allow you to make adjustments and prepare for or make changes you you move along.

At the moment you have lots of time so don't rush (too much)

Steph

Quote from: Stephanie Craxford on February 15, 2006, 05:34:55 AM
At the moment you have lots of time so don't rush (too much)

Well, maybe not so much, turns out they are pushing for a rapid discharge. This means I could be out as soon as the end of next week. Not sure to be happy or sad.

^{*carefully considers*}

I think you might as well be happy. Life is about to get harder but you can hide so much less, and that counts for quite a lot.

Just make sure you have it all planed out and that the plans are sane... hopefully it will all go well

Hi Luana,

As Kimberely said you may as well be happy. My experience is that there were things about the army that I enjoyed and some that I didn't. Twenty years down the track the memories of that which I enjoyed are still with me and that which I did not is fading quickly.

Remember you live forward and reflect back. That which you will be is yet to happen and in your hands. Good luck dear lady and remember it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.

Shelley

Quote from: Luana on February 15, 2006, 07:28:42 PM
Well, maybe not so much, turns out they are pushing for a rapid discharge. This means I could be out as soon as the end of next week. Not sure to be happy or sad.

Wow that quick, for me I wish that the Canadian Army would have worked that fast, but then my own needs were different than your's.  Will you be able to cope with a discharge as fast as that?  Not that you would have much of a choice.

Steph

Not sure, things just keep getting more complicated by the day. I have looked at all the universities in the area and one thing is for sure, I can't go to any of them. Either they don't have my degree, cost to much, or they want a better GPA then I have. (For all you high schoolers, don't slack off, your grades today makes or brakes your college opportunitys.) So...now I have a new logistics problem.

Since I have been accepted to Wyoming state already, and it is cheap (relitivly), I will be attending fall of 2007. That means I have to figure out how to survive between here and there. I have a place set up till augest, but after that is a problem. On top of that, due to a weird complication, i'm having trouble attaining a CNA.

I have a job (I hope) working at a game shop soon, might even get a manager position if I play my cards right. But I will either need to get a second job, or need to find a better paying one fast. Won't get far in D.C. on $7 an hour.

*Sigh* I think I can get this to work, but I wish I could get a breather between each crisis. Just trying to take each day as it comes.


Posted at: February 17, 2006, 11:05:19 PM

---

Oh, just remembered, I will be able to apply for unemployment for 6 months at least. ^^

Hey Luana,

Sounds like as each hill rises that your climbing over them. Don't underestimate yourself many would have wilted already. Keep your chin up and that positive attitude you have been displaying. I for one think your going to rise above all that is in front of you now.

Good luck and keep up the good work.

Shelley

Quote from: Luana*Sigh* I think I can get this to work, but I wish I could get a breather between each crisis. Just trying to take each day as it comes.

Posted at: February 17, 2006, 11:05:19 PMOh, just remembered, I will be able to apply for unemployment for 6 months at least. ^^

To say that the predicament you find yourself in would be an understatement.  But one thing you have on your side is your drive and determination to get through this.  Going from crisis to crisis, putting out fires will wear you down if you let it, and if that happens it could lead to illness, so do be careful hon, you can't risk that happening.

Given your situation I know it will be hard, but be sure to try and make some time for yourself to relax and enjoy what you have accomplished so far, you deserve a break.

Steph

May I suggest my old Alma Mater, The University of South Alabama in Mobile, AL. It's a state university, it has a superb faculty it's less expensive than most schools more so if you establish state residency, 1 year I think. It has a very extensive list of majors both undergraduate and graduate and the admission standards for grade point is 2.5, well within your range. It is also one of the top medical schools in the country. The University owns three hospitals in the area an extensive state of the art cancer research facility and support sciences do not go begging as they are vital to the medical school. Extensive engineering and computer science departments as well.

Cassie