It's not yet 3 months on it for me yet so I'm skeptical I've experienced the height of the mental changes, but yes, things are different now.
Anxiety typically manifested for me before not as physical symptoms but as a slow burn sort of mental state. Despite being someone I'd class as hyper aware and anxious, I never experienced a panic attack or anything like that. The mental state would then proceed to eat up and slow down my thoughts for hours, basically pushing their way to the front of my mind at all times. I could still function, which is why so many people had difficulty believing I've ever been "scared" of anything. They don't believe me at all if I say that. They think I'm fearless. But the reality is if I am afraid of something, it will consume my thinking to a ridiculous degree, it just won't show on the outside. That's just as debilitating in some ways, as any physical symptoms if you just cannot get your mind off of something and concentrate on things that need to be done, or allow the thoughts to influence your decisions.
Post-T, I find myself giving brief thought to worries and concerns in comparison. Nothing keeps me awake at night, even though I have the same life, the same problems. I can just push those stupid, unproductive thoughts aside so much easier. It's not that any sense of danger has diminished --- it's more that I can continue to process logically while it's there, decide on what to do, and not have it drag me down with it.
Before T I used to think talking things out would solve some of my problems. In truth, it rarely if ever did. The only thing that ever solved problems beyond deducing what they were is action, and I knew that before T. Now I just have no real desire to talk about personal problems with people. It probably doesn't help that I've always been surrounded by people who wouldn't know how to console somebody to save their lives, but in the past I actually enjoyed talking for some reason. Now I don't really get that much from it. Exchange of ideas, sure... interesting things, yes... but talking about problems? Seems pointless. Nobody is going to fix them for me.
Anger. I sure do have an anger problem, that was something that developed before T, about 2-3 years ago. I'm not sure if it was exasperation with my situation, feeling trapped for years or what, but I went from just being bugged and sad about things to expressing anger in a far more physical way. I.e. punching doors and occasionally trashing things up depending on how bad the situation was. Not often -- not my go-to response, but one that happened a few times when I felt genuinely set upon by my situation or the people around me. It takes a lot to put me in this state, but once it's there it's there. I recall it happening once when I was about 15 in which too many stressful things were just being piled on top of me at once - my parents drunken fights and threats to break up, kids in the neighborhood threatening to "kill me" - I just lost it and snapped. It has to be pretty severe for me to get to this point but I noticed I'd been reaching it easier and easier in the last few years, and also that stress was actually beginning to make me physically sick. So whether it's a problem of "mine" or the situation I'm in is hard to tell. I think anyone can go nuts if pushed too far.
Post T, I've felt genuinely calmer. Before T anger would literally give no warning, it'd be on me if someone said the wrong thing after pushing and pushing. It still gives no warning, but it's harder to get me to that point because I'm like "so what?" about many things I never used to be. The sort of daily irritants from other people that used to really grind my gears no longer seem to. Big things still do - my landlords for example, they really tested my patience a few weeks ago with their get-personal B.S., but since I started T I haven't had any sort of blow-up at all. I'm slightly worried that I don't feel the state of anger creeping up on me, but if I can at least feel less aggravated in general, that's a good thing. And I really do feel less aggravated.
Like you, I have always been exasperated by whiners and people who seem to just wilt at the prospect of fixing their own problems. I have always been a man of action lol, whenever I could execute it. That doesn't seem to have changed. My sister is the sort of person who likes to go on about how bad she feels, even though she causes these problems to herself a lot of the time, and I really do just process this now as pointless moping. Although I try to think of something that cuts the B.S. and is useful to say that would make someone like her think, "yeah, I just need to do X" and then actually do it. I don't have a history of enjoying listening to someone feel sorry for themselves, though, even though I genuinely like to help the people I care about.
I noticed I'm less patient with people. Not a whole lot less, but enough to notice. If people are being stupid or saying dumb things, a thought will generally occur: whatever. And just go back to my business. It seems useless to involve myself in their business, really. Again if that's the people around me or me being the major cause, I'm not really sure.
To put it in perspective, when everyone was talking recently about the prospect of a nuclear standoff with Russia and the UK being possibly dragged into that, and the fact I live 15 miles away from GCHQ's listening post and would probably be nuked to toasty hell, actually kept me up thinking. I haven't really thought about it since T. Like a lot of things, it now seems productive to think about things if and when the need arises, and not just because brain feels like tormenting itself today.
Another thing - the sort of inner monologue that goes on in the head when you're thinking things through... it's difficult to describe this but it is clearer, and I trust it more now. It's present less often but when it is, it seems to suggest better things.
I can't say getting off really makes me feel "better", but there is one thing to note... that I don't feel guilty about it anymore. I always used to, for some reason. Seems like another body function now, which I can either bother with or not bother with. There's a particular trigger in my brain that I can allow to be pulled, or not... I guess what I mean is I can choose whether or not to allow myself to be physically or mentally influenced into wanting it. Post T that seems more defined and more of a capable switch. If it is turned on though it's like there's less inhibitions to just going through with it. And I think you nailed it saying emotions can be a total turn-off. I remember that being the case and most of the time just wanting to avoid having to deal with them while dealing with anything sexual.
One big change to note is how much less self-conscious I feel. It still do feel it at the moment, I'm not where I want to be just yet. But the feeling of possibly being seen as ridiculous or looked on badly, is nowhere near as strong. I've always been something of a joker, and always wanted to express myself more around people, but was prevented by this. I think a few more months like this and I'm not going to be bothered by it at all anymore. I'm genuinely wondering what crazy endeavor I'll feel up to by then because given my past I'll probably go do it.
With stuff like sadness, I find it's pretty much the same emotion, it's just easier to distract from.
I'm not sure about affection toward people yet - over the last couple of years I found myself reeling that in for self preservation and I don't know if I'll be doling that out as much as I once did.
