When I had chemoradiotherapy a side effect was cellulitis in my left foot. Why I do not know but I can assure you it is agony.

It slowly went away but last Sunday I woke up in the early morning and my right foot was a mass of pain. I immediately thought cellulitis - actually my first thought was PAIN KILLERS! Then I found put I couldn't stand.

<how did the bruce willis character stand and walk in Die Hard with glass in his feet? I can assure you it is not an option>

So today after a few days of pain killers I managed a Doc appointment but none of my Docs who know me were available. Being a cancer patient got me an appointment on the emergency reserves.

I saw this lovely woman who knew nothing about me and all I disclosed was my relevant medical history and treatments and my diagnosis of my condition (come on all medics do it!). She thought outside my envelope (the reason I go to another Dr) and came up with a diagnosis. I'm not sure I agree but it has settled my mind over alternatives.

She didn't know I was TG, I have a very pronounced trachea nowadays, and magnificent radiation scars defining it. My voice isn't feminine, nor masculine - more Orc? But she was certain in every aspect of her behaviour to me that I was just another woman.

The reason to post is to reassure. We are so often our worried enemies on passing. I was wearing, cute pinky shorts and a half cut top. (Shorts are big this year in Australia girls!!!) and a floppy hat (sun protection) and sunscreen.

Please don't worry about passing so much - practice mannerisms. Mmm I know some girls want and need FFS but make sure you know why.

Passing is in your head a lot of the time.

Cindy

Hi Cindy, I get cellulitis on a regular basis and it is an awful infection. I feel for you and hope you are ok. If I don't get antibiotics within the day then I am in hospital.


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Cindy, sorry about your cancer and i hope everything is good with you, manners are very important, you are right.
It sometimes also very important your attitude depends on every person, a person treats you right you treat back right.
i have been described fewtimes as rude unless you are mean to me, iwould never be mean, and thus talk about me just come here and there but i dont let it bother me anymore.
i know iam lovely to the lovely.

good luck with your therapy, and shorts require mass of working out on the legs, which seem s you have done.
about ffs surgery, everyone is free to do what they want with their body.
hugs back.

Quote from: Abbiem on January 05, 2017, 03:25:21 AM
Cindy, sorry about your cancer and i hope everything is good with you, manners are very important, you are right.
It sometimes also very important your attitude depends on every person, a person treats you right you treat back right.
i have been described fewtimes as rude unless you are mean to me, iwould never be mean, and thus talk about me just come here and there but i dont let it bother me anymore.
i know iam lovely to the lovely.

good luck with your therapy, and shorts require mass of working out on the legs, which seem s you have done.
about ffs surgery, everyone is free to do what they want with their body.
hugs back.

Thank you so much young lady!

I know you are doing life tough at the moment but you have  already established many friends here.

I am enjoying your posts and getting to know you.

Love

Cindy

Oh Cindy,

i love you too.
How do you know iam having a tough time right now?
iam happy to know you too.

Quote from: Cindy on January 05, 2017, 02:43:20 AMThe reason to post is to reassure. We are so often our worried enemies on passing. I was wearing, cute pinky shorts and a half cut top. (Shorts are big this year in Australia girls!!!) and a floppy hat (sun protection) and sunscreen.

Please don't worry about passing so much - practice mannerisms. Mmm I know some girls want and need FFS but make sure you know why.

Passing is in your head a lot of the time.

Yes.  Very wise.

To expand on that a bit, first, self-belief is absolutely necessary to eliciting one's preferred gendering.  If you're misgendering yourself, others will surely misgender you as well.  This doesn't mean that self-belief is sufficient; obviously, there's a whole lot that goes into how gender is perceived and assigned and indeed performed in the modern world.

To wit -- being aware of fashion trends.  Which doesn't necessarily mean current couture, but knowing what other people in your cohort wear and following suit (heh) certainly facilitates blending in.  But more important, as Cindy points out, is how we interact with other people.  In my experience, there's a lot of difference between how women interact with women, how men interact with men, and how women and men interact with each other.  And so much of it is context dependent, of course, and all this takes time to pick up and integrate into our lives. 

All the facial surgery in the world isn't going to buy you that time (though it can definitely grease the wheels).  It takes getting out in the world and living life, as your true authentic self.  Which takes self knowledge.  Self belief.

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Cindy, I'm hoping you are doing better now. That is a heck of a thing to wake up to. Why can't time be nicer to us?

Sophia is dead on as usual.  Just because our inner girl, frozen at age 14, is finally exposed to the world is no reason for us to try and present as 14 year olds in bodies decades older than that. (I know this because I've done it, too. [emoji15])  I'm in my 60s, so I usually try to present that way. Oh, I try for a very smart older woman look, and you won't find me wandering around in sweats and a knit cap (just walked by; ecccch!), or Ave inappropriate miniskirts or tights and crop tops.

I've got Moms chin and nose, alas. She probably didn't "pass" by our standards, either, but somehow made it cute. I need to find her secret. Attitude is key.

Cindy's got it. She's got some industrial strength attitude going.

I can't think of a better inspiration for the rest of us.


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Well the diagnosis came in as Morton's Neuroma.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morton's_neuroma

I'm not totally convinced as the usual cause is wearing high heels and I haven't for a long time.

The pain is going with anti-inflammatories and I managed to walk around the shops and buy some cute tops so at least the wallet treatment of disease is working.

I note that injection of alcohol into the nerve will kill it and stop the pain. Since it is 40C here today I decided to follow the oral approach with some ice cold Rose'. It seems to be working.

I've got cellulitis from a congestive heart condition the veins in my legs are screwed up. I thought I'd never walk again when it first hit me in my legs

Quote from: stephaniec on January 06, 2017, 12:46:25 AM
I've got cellulitis from a congestive heart condition the veins in my legs are screwed up. I thought I'd never walk again when it first hit me in my legs

My absolute sympathy, when I had cellulitis in my left foot I was crying with pain - and frustration from being unable to walk.

I usually meditate and put myself in my safe place when I am in pain or know I am going to suffer something. I can go there in a few seconds normally but cellulitis was so painful it took me a while to even blank myself out.

Big Hug young lady

Cellulitis is a nasty piece of work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cellulitis

My mother had it in her leg about four years ago and was in hospital for almost a week.

This Morton's Neuroma doesn't sound like much fun either. Cindy, from reading that Wikipedia article it seems like it doesn't have to be only high heels but also tight shoes that could be the culprit...?

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 06, 2017, 01:44:15 AM
Cellulitis is a nasty piece of work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cellulitis

My mother had it in her leg about four years ago and was in hospital for almost a week.

This Morton's Neuroma doesn't sound like much fun either. Cindy, from reading that Wikipedia article it seems like it doesn't have to be only high heels but also tight shoes that could be the culprit...?

Yeah and I'm trying to go through them.
All I can target into is my training shoes.

I wear them when I do my daily walk (stagger) they seem well fitting.

When my feet went to hell and back I bought and had fitted podiatry shoes. They look great and are comfy. I'm annoyed if all my precautions have been led astray by expensive 'trainers' that I also bought from a reputable shop and that they advertise that they help you will be disappointing.

Funny thing is when I as thrashing in my chemo-drift pain I kept saying my feet! So I'm told.

Why throat cancer stuffs your feet up and makes your hair fall out is an issue I will take up when I return to work.

There are research projects ahead for me!

Sophia, you cannot just perform after a very bad experience in surgery and live life like you want.
Second, you need to live where you want to live not to be forced to live somewhere because u have a partner, like seek ur passion where u want.
Attidude is very important but like i said it depends on a person treats u good, u treat good and so on.
Now about this, for me, the trans culture, made me get involved more about makeup, dressing up and living this, the term, i can dress what i want, put makeup how i want, and it music, all living to think how i want.

It have appealed to me like Depeche Mode how they dress and wear, and Duran Duran.

Not at all in meditation, but that's a person opinion, everyone got opinions.

Cindy, i hope u r better today !

Yes, Cellutis is not funny. I basically have it all the time in my left foot and lower leg, since getting a very bad Strep A infection in Europe a number of years ago. I take penicillin twice daily to keep it at bay as if it gets infected I normally end up in hospital for a week, having penicillin by infusion pump every 4 hours. Happened twice in 2016.  Becomes a pain with buying shoes as I have to buy two pairs as my right foot is size 40, whereas my bad foot (even when I get up in the morning after my leg has been elevated is size 42). I also take prescription very strong painkillers as if I get pain it can be intense and keep me awake all night. You all have my sympathy!.
Judith

Celulitis sufferer here. Sure mine was caused due to being a bus driver.  Get well soon. Had diuretics which one night when I knew I couldn't get home in time meant using the bus shelter.

Oh Cindy! I'm really sorry you have not been well. 
I've been under the radar for so long and am sad that I have not kept in touch.
Wishing you all the best.... Lots of hugs! Chat soon!

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