Hey ladies,

So I'm not sure if this is my male brain questioning or if this is a social fear....

I came out to myself on November 17th of 2016. And since then, for the first time in my life, everything has made since. However, I am almost at the 2 month mark and I am about to start HRT.

From the two week mark, I've been thinking about making the permanent name change and gender identifier change. I know in the depths of my soul this is who I was me should have been.... I was raised that when a decision is made you stick to your "guns", so to speak.

I'm just wondering, am I moving to fast? I've been seeing a therapist for about a month now, and I can't be more comfortable about who I am now then I've ever been in my life.

Ever bit of clothing that I have purchased lately "feels like the right decision". Since day one of wearing breast forms, has seemed right to me. I can't imagine living my life one more day as a man any more.

However, I'm not 100% sure how to portrait the girl I've been hiding for so long. I am definitely a country girl. Hunting, fishing, camping, and shooting are just part of who I am at my core. But I'm also a bit of a girly girl. I don't know how to portrait that as a welder. Welding makes sense to me. I'm just not sure how to be a girl in a male dominated field?!?

Sorry for ranting... I'm just excited and scared. For brief moments... I'm afraid I'm moving to fast.

You ladies are so important to me, I just want to soak up your experiences.

Loves [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]


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One thing about transition is that it is an opportunity to find yourself, to discover who you are.  You may even be surprised by who that girl is.  When I worked with trans youth about a decade ago I was constantly amazed at how well they knew themselves, mainly because they couldn't go fast through transition.  Often they could only express themselves through introspection.

You will discover you, as many of us have.  My idealized self pre-transition was much different than the person I became, and that was due to my experiences during transition and the friendship I made.  You are going to get there, and you will blossom in time as you learn about yourself and are able to express yourself.  It is a magical time, do enjoy it

Time doesnt make the decision any more or less right for anyone.  We are who we are...  Taking time to contemplate things is a precaution used to ensure that people didnt make the decision too lightly and had time to consider the options and implications.  In the end... only you really know what's in your heart.  Some girls know from day one where there life needs to go... some girls need time to weigh things.  I made up my mind in a day and have never looked back...  So, No, I don't believe that you're moving too fast; just as long as you are sold on the idea, I have no doubt that you'll be happy with your decision. 

IMHO, it's never too fast...but I transitioned later in life.
In my first year, I did 1on1 therapy, approved for HRT, 40-50 sessions of electrolysis, tracheal shave and started living full time.

I don't think there is a too fast or too slow. It is all personal decision. Compared to you I am on the slower side. One step at a time, then wait some time to make sure everything still feels right. Made it to second base in 9 month and based on how I am thinking now, there will be another 6 before I take the next step. This is all my personal preference, nothing else.

You will however see that in the entire process there will be a few "mandatory" wait times - one example being that almost all surgeons want one year RLE. Even changing name and gender marker may require a certain wait time depending on where you live.

It seems like you are very confident in your decisions and how you are moving along. You are happy and that is all that counts :-)

Quote from: Nina_Ottawa on January 06, 2017, 05:27:38 AM
IMHO, it's never too fast...but I transitioned later in life.
In my first year, I did 1on1 therapy, approved for HRT, 40-50 sessions of electrolysis, tracheal shave and started living full time.

Yeah!  I just want to be done and live out my life as myself.  The sand in my hourglass is already running low.

Therapy, 50 hours of electrolysis, full time now, name and gender make changes almost ready to go, and my first year anniversary of  my breakdown isn't until March.  Trach shave is next in the queue.


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Quote from: Alora on January 06, 2017, 01:15:22 AMSo I'm not sure if this is my male brain questioning or if this is a social fear....

I came out to myself on November 17th of 2016. And since then, for the first time in my life, everything has made since. However, I am almost at the 2 month mark and I am about to start HRT.

From the two week mark, I've been thinking about making the permanent name change and gender identifier change. I know in the depths of my soul this is who I was me should have been....

You're not going too fast.  You're under professional supervision, you're considering ramifications, you're wondering... and you're being introspective.  You know who you are.  And really, everything before SRS is reversible, so I wouldn't worry about whatever you choose to do next before then.

QuoteHowever, I'm not 100% sure how to portrait the girl I've been hiding for so long. I am definitely a country girl. Hunting, fishing, camping, and shooting are just part of who I am at my core. But I'm also a bit of a girly girl. I don't know how to portrait that as a welder. Welding makes sense to me. I'm just not sure how to be a girl in a male dominated field?!?

There are other women who are hunters, welders, campers, and the like.  Look to them, look at how they participate in traditionally male-dominated cultures.  I think you'll find that in some respects they're much more competent on average (you have to be, I think, to have the desire to get past any social stigma), and you'll find that they do some things (not all things) differently.  And each woman will naturally have her own take on how she stays true to herself while doing these things. 

Most women, I suspect, weren't 100% sure how to go about it, either, btw.  They just had to figure it out a lot earlier than you are now. 

Bringing to the top for Tapatalk

Hey ladies,

It's been awhile since I've posted in this thread. I'm coming back to it because I have been sitting on this for a week...

<deleted court doc of legal name change>

I know many of you said that I'm not moving too fast. I've been on HRT for 25 days and I'm already noticing changes. I'm really happy with these changes, but I think the reason that I'm still sitting on that piece of paper is I haven't told the one person that I'm utterly terrified to tell. My mother.

She has know idea of what's been going one since November. I really want to tell her, but like I said... I'm utterly terrified that the relationship we share is going to change. I don't want that in the least. I just don't know if I should tell her before I change my name or if I should move forward with what is best for me and tell her later?!?

My sister is super supportive and actually like the idea of being the "older" younger sister. I'm wondering if I should plan a weekend "sidling" dinner with mom to come out before I change my name? You ladies have been so supportive, I can't imagine moving forward without you advise.

Loves [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]

Just a word of advice, I wouldn't leave your full name and address up on the site... trolls and identity thieves.

Your mom is obviously very important to you. I would take your time on your name change until you are sure that it's time. It's not easy to change all your documents and you're going to have a ton of paperwork to work on. I wouldn't suggest adding that stress to your day. And not knowing how she would react to being left out on your name change.

Quote from: Alora on January 06, 2017, 01:15:22 AM
I can't imagine living my life one more day as a man any more.

I think that part of your answer lies in here.  That sounds like enough to start the journey with.  I imagine that many if not most of the MtF's around here can point to a time when the urgency of that imperative lit a fuse. 

Quote from: Alora on January 06, 2017, 01:15:22 AM
I don't know how to portrait that as a welder. Welding makes sense to me. I'm just not sure how to be a girl in a male dominated field?!?

I was in Pittsburgh in 1983 when a "small-town girl on a Saturday night" burst on the scene as a welder/ballet dancer in "Flashdance."  There was absolutely nothing un-feminine about her even in her welding mask and coveralls.  In the 34 years that have passed in the mean time, we've seen women doing just about anything under the sun.  All of the hilarious photos posted with the #DressLikeAWoman have shown that there is no uniform for today's woman, and no limit to what she does or wants to do.  So weld away! 

Erin

Quote from: Dayta on February 05, 2017, 10:59:29 PM
I think that part of your answer lies in here.  That sounds like enough to start the journey with.  I imagine that many if not most of the MtF's around here can point to a time when the urgency of that imperative lit a fuse. 

I was in Pittsburgh in 1983 when a "small-town girl on a Saturday night" burst on the scene as a welder/ballet dancer in "Flashdance."  There was absolutely nothing un-feminine about her even in her welding mask and coveralls.  In the 34 years that have passed in the mean time, we've seen women doing just about anything under the sun.  All of the hilarious photos posted with the #DressLikeAWoman have shown that there is no uniform for today's woman, and no limit to what she does or wants to do.  So weld away! 

Erin

Thanks Erin. Right now in my emotional state it means the world to hear you say that.

Loves [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]


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Quote from: Harley Quinn on February 05, 2017, 10:33:50 PM
Just a word of advice, I wouldn't leave your full name and address up on the site... trolls and identity thieves.

Your mom is obviously very important to you. I would take your time on your name change until you are sure that it's time. It's not easy to change all your documents and you're going to have a ton of paperwork to work on. I wouldn't suggest adding that stress to your day. And not knowing how she would react to being left out on your name change.

Sound advice, thanks Harley. I've been talked with my sister about this and I think we have a plan. Thanks so much for your words of wisdom.

Loves [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]


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Welding! I love to weld. It is just so peaceful. Just laying down that perfect bead. It calms me so much. And as far as being a girl welder, it's your expertise that will matter most. You are probably. Better than most so I don't think you will have a problem there.