I am only 6 months into transition, but I am realizing that the way I react to men is different. In male mode, I was always checking my status in a guarded manner. For one, I had to keep up that male facade lest someone "suspect" my truth. It was usually pretty uncomfortable for me. Now, it is actually very much more relaxed. There is no more pressure to compete in status. I am not saying this in a sexual way, but I seem to like to tease them, maybe not quite flirt but use humor to mess with them. One guy at work is always making sexist types of comments as a way to tease in a place that is majority woman. I don't know if he knows my history or not, but he is respectful to me. I do like shooting comments right back. For guys who know my history, it is kind of fun watching them trying to figure out how to treat me, well until they make the adjustment. With women there is some pressure to see how I fit in. With men, the pressure is off. Hope I am not duplicating some other thread, but I am curious  how other ladies see it in 2017.
Monica

When I felt like I had to compete but didn't like it and wasn't good at it I disliked most men. Now that I know who I am and am mostly perceived as I wish to be, I really, really dislike most men. I don't tolerate stereotypical male behavior very well. As an older woman, and a lesbian I'm fairly comfortable around other women. I'm too old to try to compete with them and I still appreciate looking and interacting with them.

I used to hate men pre-transition, but now at 10 months, I'm a lot more attracted to them. Like I still don't like how stereotypical some men can be, but I do find them a lot more attractive. I'm still nervous about interacting with men though, but other than more attractions towards them in a dating manner, I'm not sure what else to say lol

I made a post on this in the Sexuality forum.  But I will admit that lately I have been reacting to men differently.  I have been pretty much in the lesbian camp for years and I have no complaints, but over the last few months something has been changing inside of me. I am still exploring what this is.  So our lives can change, including how we interact or are attracted to the opposite sex at any point. 

I love how complicated we humans are...

-Sarah

I can't say that much has changed.  I used to ignore them and go about my day... I still ignore them and keep going with my daily routine.  The classic "male posturing" in public is more of an annoyance to me.  Having been the subject of being put down as a way to improve their social standing, I find it juvenille and irritating.  Its no wonder that I have so little interest in men...  lol.  Sexual innuendo and eluding to sexual acts in conversation is another that I dont care for in conversation.  I haven't decided if that is from old fashioned modesty, or if it is a result of my own insecurites of having been born male.

When I started transition I thought I would avoid them as much as possible. Didn't like the sexist jokes and the way most of them put down their wives when trying to act macho. Thought I would just end up being a lesbian.

That has gradually changed and now I'm trying to learn how to flirt a bit and looking for a boyfriend. Not sure how that's going to work out but I'm going to give it a try.

I don't know if my view has changed or I'm paying attention to more men than I would have in the past. I still don't like what I described above but I am seeing that there are a few out there that are not like that.

I remember just prior to living full time (2008), I attended a potluck with a local trans group. I recall transwoman asking me about my preference in partners. I thought to myself what an invasive question. I said I don't know, just came out of a marriage of 8 years. I still remember her saying "men are pigs...you're not a real transwoman if you think of men."
Once living full time, I found I was getting more looks my way from men, and even dates from vanilla dating sites.
I met the most wonderful guy in 2013 who saw my ad...and we began dating. He knew I was pre-op...even though my parts kind of icked him out. We're happily married...he's special. He was there with me when I got GRS, supports me beyond words. And to boot, he's with the police. His co-workers...right up to the chief of police like me. Probably because I make them all fudge lol.

I always used to feel like I understood men (back in the day.) Now after 18 months HRT, they seem, whats the word, foreign. I feel much more distant from my place in that world. Guess that says a lot for how far I have come. It might have something to do with not knowing how men view me as a trans woman. That truly is a mystery to me. Wondering if this is a common feeling.
Monica
There is a very funny comedy segment by Mark Gungor (I believe) about the difference between woman's and men's brains. It is worth a "google."

Everything is different now.

Wow, I'm actually struggling to come up with words at this point.  The biggest change is how sexual attraction changes the dynamic of interaction -- all the little rituals of flirtation and so forth, and being in heterosexual relationship with a man is, well, he shows you something of his inner self that he never shows the rest of the world.  And like Monica pointed out, men have their own rituals for establishing relative hierarchies (even to determine if they're equals) and there's none of that now.  Also, I'm much more aware of just how much men in general are lacking in awareness of other people. 

Quote from: HappyMoni on January 07, 2017, 09:26:01 AM
I always used to feel like I understood men (back in the day.) Now after 18 months HRT, they seem, whats the word, foreign. I feel much more distant from my place in that world. Guess that says a lot for how far I have come. It might have something to do with not knowing how men view me as a trans woman. That truly is a mystery to me. Wondering if this is a common feeling.

I think I have a similar "foreign" perspective on men - coincidentally, also about 18 months into HRT.  It's made me wonder about the power of testosterone to drive behavior as well as to guide physical development.  It's an awfully powerful thing, and as someone who once had to try to be male, I find myself sympathetic to men who are dealing with the impulses and influences of that hormone.  Poor boys!

I find healthy, friendly men sexy and love the idea of being treated "like a lady"...however I really dislike the testosterone-driven attitudes and behaviors that I now really *get* since I transitioned.

The weirdest thing is my sense of smell has changed dramatically - I find that men smell "gamey" or like they have B.O. all the time, even though they're clean. It's got to be pheromones. 

I get this weird tingling down my spine when a cute guy smiles at me

I have given up on acting male. I have found that over all, I cannot stand most guys. They are so full of themselves and only have one thing on their mind, we know what that is. There are a few rare exeptions though.

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Quote from: Mia on January 07, 2017, 12:38:04 PM
I find healthy, friendly men sexy and love the idea of being treated "like a lady"...however I really dislike the testosterone-driven attitudes and behaviors that I now really *get* since I transitioned.

The weirdest thing is my sense of smell has changed dramatically - I find that men smell "gamey" or like they have B.O. all the time, even though they're clean. It's got to be pheromones.  [emoji14]

I noticed that too. I just thought it was my sense of smell acting up.

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I have 35 operating engineers and about 30 outsourced electricians, fitters and specialty contractors. I am in contact with 60 maintenance and hundreds of construction workers in construction areas.

Before I came out conversations between the guys would be a competition of who was the doggiest or who was man in the relationship. Often it would be where they would brag about sex ( when a pretty woman walked by a guy would say to the others, "would you". I was shocked about how many would cheat on their wives and girlfriends. After coming out all that stopped and none of that conversation is spoken in my presence.

I did get told several times when my nipples were erect, that I was thin for a guy but heavy for a female and a bunch of guys asked when as I going to get my boob job. I had two guys suggest I go bigger on the implants to a double D. One guy asked if he could feel my boobs after the operation.

Guys let me on and off an elevator first, hold open doors and in general are very nice to me.

There are a few guys I find attractive and one that I am very attracted to. Now that I am single and post op I think I wish and then think I can which is very different than before. When I am talking to a cute guy ( especially the one) it is very different. I think of what I would love him to do or what I want to do and get a bit hot. There is a lot of smiling and eye contact.

It is very different now.

As male, I never took note of other men, I was always more at home with female company. I started HRT and I was firmly in the lesbian camp and very happy there.

Then in my 3rd year of HRT I did a favor for a friend, her male cousin needed a date to a wedding and I was single and was fixed up with him. We kinda clicked and actually began dating.. Something inside made me feel this was right. I loved being treated like a lady and quickly began enjoying playing the "traditional" female role in the relationship. The first time we kissed or when he slid his hand on my butt while kissing was weird but nice. We dated for about 9 months and then I dated a bisexual woman, but I ended it because I began wanted a boyfriend. Now I am engaged a wonderful man and cant imagine being with anyone else.

I am seeing in response to my original question a number of ladies who were never attracted to men, but later seemed to warm to the idea. Some make the actual switch over. I described a change over in my attitude from feeling that I understood men and competed with them, to feeling distant and having a  lack of understanding of them (after transitioning). I have never been attracted to men and am very happy with my wife. I do feel really good about myself when anything happens to reaffirm my femininity though. I think if a guy were to check me out, it would make me feel good about myself. If I were not with my wife, I honestly don't know if I would allow it to progress in any type of romantic feeling. For those of you who had a changeover in orientation, do you think it was because it was so reassuring to your sense of making it to womanhood (so to speak). Is there any sense that the switch over in your desired partners is a completion of your transformation? Thanks to anyone who can help me understand his.
Monica

I liked men before; they're great and have penises. Now, I really love them and couldn't imagine life without my man. I love sex, even though I'm add-on, for now. I can't wait to have sex after. Though, men make me feel safe. I'm really small. The one thing is know men won't talk to me without sexual tension being present, if that makes sense. Plus, now women, good looking ones, get jealous of no I. Yeah, me! I never thought a woman would be jealous of how I look and worry I'd steal their BF. I like being treated like a woman now. I hate "man" work, which no one let's me do anyway.

I spent time trying to fit in as one and that did not work, but it gave me a bit of insight into how they are when not in mixed company and I realized that just is not something I am interested in.  The stupid games just hold no allure.  True, you could find that gem, they certainly do exist...but 90% of what society coins a MAN is really little more than a T fueled kid with an income.

Quote from: HappyMoni on January 08, 2017, 01:36:45 PMI think if a guy were to check me out, it would make me feel good about myself. If I were not with my wife, I honestly don't know if I would allow it to progress in any type of romantic feeling. For those of you who had a changeover in orientation, do you think it was because it was so reassuring to your sense of making it to womanhood (so to speak). Is there any sense that the switch over in your desired partners is a completion of your transformation?

Well, first, I think there's just about always a changeover in orientation post-transition (unless you've always been asexual or pansexual).  You can frame it as whether you were having sex with men or women before... or you can frame it as whether the sex was heterosexual or homosexual. 

Semantics aside, yeah, I think there's a lot of congruence between heteronormativity and gendering.  Even in gay communities, there's quite a bit of cross-gendered expression... the swishy queen, the stone-cold dyke.  As if who you are with has implications for how you "do" gender.  Not necessarily, of course, just a tendency.

Me, I've come to realize that I really prefer heterosexual sex, and so of course having sex with straight men post-op is enormously affirming.  Naturally, your mileage may vary...