I am curious if others have any personal experience with nullification.  I feel like after have assualt and lots of trauma around sex id like to remove the organs and be done with it all.  Anyone gone through same?  is touch still pleasureable?  am curious of what some in's and out's of nullification are and genuinely curious who might by my closer community on this forum.

I take estradiol and spiro daily though the estradiol i may raise  so that i have closest to cis female estrogen levels i can.  I also as you can see keep my lady beard and am not 100 % sure i will alter my voice at all.  Though at most I'll just bring it up slightly cause I dont intend to pass.

The estrogen makes me feel like a normal human however the whole concept of gender norms is not something I care to take on just to make cis men feel like I'm acceptable eye candy. 

Typically use agender and transfem as identifiers and people call me she usually.  I dont know if anyone on here can relate.  Just being myself

<3 ya all

Also, is it less likely to be covered by insurance?  Harder to get doctors approval for?

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Welcome to the place Lunacorn, you have been busy.   I hope you will not feel you need to justify your desires here even if they might seem out of the mainstream.  It is your body, your life and your future right?

i know of people who sought nullification. Penectomy/orchiectomy have certainly been done.  I have a good friend who recently had a zero depth vaginoplasty that preserves her capacity for pleasure.  We had a post last year about a surgeon in Michigan (i think) who will do the job but I recall it was not covered by insurance.  Hey it's a challenge to even get traditional GCS covered in the USA!

Almost all surgeons and clinics will stick to the WPATH standards and that means some level of gatekeeping is part of the process.  As what you are considering is a very big and permanent deal it might be reasonable to avail yourself of counseling perhaps?  I am another who considers herself an Enby and note we have a Non Binary forum section you know of.  See you around.

Hey, Lunacorn!

Hun, as a sexual assault survivor, I can relate to your feelings about your genitalia and being seen as desirable by men. I was abused constantly from infancy through my eighth year, and gang raped at twenty. Hope I am not over-sharing, but I want you to know "I get it"...

When I started gender therapy, one of the first things that my counselor wanted to be certain of, was whether my assault history was playing into my self-concept and sexuality. Because, you see, it is sometimes the case that a man will see themselves as being somewhat female, or asexual, after such abuses, and conflate their gender identity with their damaged psyche, and therefore, in such cases, what is called for is intense trauma/sexual survivor therapy, not a change of one's physical body. So, I am pretty sure, that you will find it quite difficult to get approval for any kind of nullification without having had a full course of sexual assault and trauma therapy first, which, in my opinion, might nullify one's desire for nullification. If after such therapy, you were to proceed through gender therapy, and be able to assure the gender therapist that your actual gender identity is such that you require surgical intervention to relieve gender dysphoria, then possibly you should be able to have such surgeries as are appropriate. As it is, based on the limited information you have shared, I find it highly doubtful that any surgeon will be willing to alter your body without you going through the usual channels. The WPATH standards of care 7.0 will require two letters from qualified gender specialist, and if they are not qualified trauma/sexual abuse specialists, they will also likely want to communicate with one that has cleared your state of mind. The standards of care require that any potential co-morbid conditions be ruled out before proceeding with treatments. This is because there are a few conditions that generate experiences that mimic gender dysphoria, and are meant to protect at risk individuals from making mistakes.

Just my opinions, based on my own journey through trauma/DID therapy, and gender therapy, and the whole transition process, including surgical rectification...

I truly hope you do attend to your pain with qualified therapists with specific experience in the issues you currently face...

Much love, healing vibes, and a big, safe cyber-hug! ((HUG))

Missy

Quote from: Lunacorn on February 02, 2017, 09:48:06 PM
"I feel like after have assualt and lots of trauma around sex id like to remove the organs and be done with it all." 

"just to make cis men feel like I'm acceptable eye candy." 

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These particular passages are what cause me to feel that the inter-relation between your self-concept and intended plans are worth delving into before having any permanent surgical changes.

While it is indeed "your life, your body, your future", there are ethical constraints on all doctors to do due diligence before surgery. One may think of this as 'gatekeeping', but without such, especially when severe psychological stressors are clearly present, a doctor would be acting  negligently in the face of known clinical counter-indicators for such treatments. I would very strongly suggest resisting the temptation to circumvent conventional treatments, regardless of whatever encouragement you may get from non-professionals...

Missy

okay so thats a ton of assumption made ...

A) i been through hell and see a shrink yes

B) my shrink gets my reasons for wanting parts removed.

C) the sexual assault is not the guiding reason for wanting my organs removed yet its an understandable side effect.

D) The idea of being different and wanting something outside the box and being told after i goto therapy I might not want it anymore is exactly what i talk about surronding my inclusion thread.

If i had known that mentioning my discomfort with males and being an assault survivor would result in that i wouldnt have mentioned it

Honestly MissGendered those posts just felt icky

the reality is I just dont like sex

traumatizing yes mostly because the act seems filthy to me

I want the male parts removed so clothing fights better yet dont want it replaced as i dont have sex so the only use it would get / see is if someone assaulted me

sorry i didnt not make that super clear in the first place

I love and respect ya for being who you are yet that response felt a lot like you were analyzing one short post and telling me no shrink would sign papers for it and thats not at all true.  I have someone i see who fully supports the decision.

My sincerest apologies, Lunacorn, it wasn't my intention at all to make you feel icky or anything negative at all...

I based my reply on my own experiences, personal, and in administering a support site with over 500 survivors of childhood abuses and the 1000s of other girls (including trans girls) that had told me their stories while applying to join the site. My statements were neither random, nor unfounded, but were intended only with care, love, and a desire that you experience less pain, not more..

This is the first thread of yours I have read, so I again apologize if I spoke from ignorance of your particulars and previous assertions elsewhere on the site.

You may consider me fully remonstrated and chastised.

Best wishes going forward..

Missy

no worries... i just get it a lot in real life.  so its touchy and my gentle meter on it is a lil worn down... was just reading some of your story seems you understand quite a bit in your own experience how people put assumptions on ya.

<3 and best wishes.  never hard feelings.  I got a firm backbone however I'm a good soul

Quote from: Lunacorn on February 02, 2017, 11:07:15 PM
no worries... i just get it a lot in real life.  so its touchy and my gentle meter on it is a lil worn down... was just reading some of your story seems you understand quite a bit in your own experience how people put assumptions on ya.

<3 and best wishes.  never hard feelings.  I got a firm backbone however I'm a good soul

Thank you, hun, I am beside myself here fearing I have hurt you in any way. I am truly sorry for whatever discomfort I may have caused you. I was only reacting to what I read in your post with the best of intentions. Honestly...

Much love, hun..

Missy

nah no hurt on me .. if ya hurt me i wouldnt respond.  I just stand up for myself.. A lot of that comes from the work i do.  Super into everyone speaking for themselves about there story and also I might speak up when i see shiz yet dont think I take it personally.  No need to ever be beside yourself with fear when talking to me.  I tend to just correct people and move on