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for those thinking of transition , what is your number one issue

Started by stephaniec, February 05, 2017, 07:14:51 PM

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stephaniec

For those transitioning or thinking of transitioning , what is is number one issue. Mine I guess would be just melting into the crowd.
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Sophia Sage

My number one issue was always oriented around receiving female gendering from myself and others.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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stephaniec

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JeanetteLW

   For me I believe it is going to be coming out to family and friends. This will be coming at them from left field.

  Jeanette
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Denise

1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.
The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise
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Nina_Ottawa

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JeanetteLW

  The one coming out I am really dreading is my daughter and her family. I will be jeopardizing my relationship with her and my five grand children.  I lost her once due to my alcoholism and the problems it cause at home. She left home not speaking to me and later while trying to re-establish relations it got in the way again enough for her to tell me "If you are going to be drinking when you visit I'd rather you not come". I was a long time rebuilding that relationship. I am welcome in her life once again and this could ruin it.

   Jeanette
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RachelH

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MissGendered

I don't want to derail what is likely to become another awesome thread, but what Jeanette and Nina and others have expressed has given me pause.

When I quit drinking and partying, I lost a whole lifetime of friends, activities, and associations. When I left university, I lost contact with amazing professors, colleagues, and I lost further educational opportunities, as well as losing social and political opportunities, and contact with many amazingly talented associates, with whom I socialized quite frequently. When I quit my profession to seek my way out of mental illness and my internal conflict, I lost tons of income, amazing relationships with stellar talents, as well as daily purpose and much creative satisfaction. When I announced I was actually a woman, I lost status, my spouse, my privilege, my history, my little empire, my self-concept, most of my remaining friends, and my future financial potential. I have gone through many changes in my life, and suffered huge losses each time, but l always got a fair return in exchange. I lost my ability to give birth to my own children as an infant, so yes, I do know loss. I have not had to face losing contact with my children or grand-kids, but I did lose the ability to be a matriarch. There has been no fair return on that loss. Nope.

Life is predicated on the fact that all we have, all we will ever be, will one day, be dust.

I am so very sorry for each and every sacrifice we face as we become authentic, I truly am.

But what we get in return, is ourselves. Our true selves. Without having that, what do we really actually have, even in a crowded room of people we love, if they don't really love the person we truly are?

Sorry to sidetrack, as this is a super topic, but I kinda thought the OP was intending us to answer about why it was we were transitioning, but that may have just been my take on it.

If it were titled 'what was your biggest transition regret or worry', I would have to say the loss of the love of my life. Hands down. But, what was the number one issue that drove me to transition? I needed peace of mind.

Even after all the losses, I do now have what I never had previously.

I have peace of mind.

I truly hope that when the dust settles in all of your lives, you too shall be rewarded with peace of mind.

I truly do.

Missy

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Dayta

I've talked to everyone in my family, including in-laws, with the exception of my mom.  I'm lucky to see her every other year at this point, so it seems like it's not like it's going to affect me one way or another in a real significant way.  I'm planning to come out at work in about another month or so, and everyone there knows me, so even if I could pass, I'll never really pass there.  All of my identity paperwork is either done or en route, so there's no roadblocks in that direction, absent some kind of onerous executive order encouraging discrimination.  My wife has been on board with me since day one.  Honestly, I feel so blessed.  I almost feel guilty listening to and reading about the horrific struggles my brothers and sisters here have had to endure on their paths. 

I guess my greatest fear is that once I truly go full-time in public, I'll find out that I'm not enough somehow.  Maybe it's just stage fright or something like it. 

Erin




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LizK

You are not responsible for anyone else's reaction...you cannot cause them to feel any particular way. Taking on responsibility for their potential feelings is like trying to control how they will/should experience your transition. You cannot control it. You can only be responsible for the way you act and the way you feel.


Liz

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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MeTony

I know Liz. But I know he will be hurt and start to cry. He was a mess when I told him I'm bisexual. He started to be jelous at all the women I knew. Until I told him I CHOSE him before all the other girls or guys in the world.

He is a very sensetive person.
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SonadoraXVX

To know thyself is to be blessed, but to know others is to prevent supreme headaches
Sun Tzu said it best, "To know thyself is half the battle won, but to know yourself and the enemy, is to win 100% of the battles".



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LizK

Quote from: MeTonie on February 06, 2017, 12:46:47 AM
I know Liz. But I know he will be hurt and start to cry. He was a mess when I told him I'm bisexual. He started to be jelous at all the women I knew. Until I told him I CHOSE him before all the other girls or guys in the world.

He is a very sensetive person.

To be honest I wasn't aiming that specifically at you but at a number of girls who seem to think they are some how responsible for how someone else is going to feel about them being trans.

This is not about him this is about you...I have no doubt it will be difficult, but you are not doing anything to him, you are telling him about your diagnosed condition that you are getting help for...It not as it you went out got yourself a healthy dose of Trans and here is some penicillin to make it go away. This is a serious life threatening condition and solving all the issues that come with it is not going to be easy. But you haven't done anything to anyone...if anything life has dealt you this hand ... It was not a decision to be trans

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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MeTony

Thank you Liz. Made me think. I will talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow and ask for help.
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Kylo

How it will contribute to self-actualization and getting rid of the last mental and physical blocks that remain
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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jjvoerman

Quote from: JeanetteLW on February 05, 2017, 07:58:04 PM
   For me I believe it is going to be coming out to family and friends. This will be coming at them from left field.

  Jeanette
Sends love, for when you need it

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