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Wardrobe/presentation advice?

Started by ProbablyOliver, February 23, 2017, 09:58:40 AM

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ProbablyOliver

Hey all!

I hope this is the right place for this topic - if not, I'm sorry!

So, I'm brand new to the boards here and am still sort of questioning/exploring at this point. I've already talked to a handful of my friends about it and they've been incredibly supportive, which is awesome! And with that in mind I'm feeling really good about running full speed ahead with the advice that some of you lovely people have given me re: presenting more masculine in terms of appearance and dress to see how it feels.

I've had short hair for years and tend to exclusively wear boys' shirts, but switching to mid-compression sports bras has made a huge difference and I bought a couple of pairs of boxers that are amazing. The only downside to them being that my wardrobe as it stands consists of almost exclusively tight-fitting skinny jeans in women's cuts. Luckily I have a pair or two that don't show lines when I wear boxers but I was wondering if anyone had recommendations for buying some men's pants, or pants that mimic that style? I know "boyfriend" jeans are a thing but I've never really worn anything but skinny jeans.

I would love to try a pair of actual men's pants but a) I'm very petite (I stand at about 5"1) and curvy (34" waist as it stands) and b) I really don't think I have the confidence at this point to try  a pair on in a fitting room. I could buy some and try them at home and return what doesn't fit but before I go that route I wondered if anyone had advice or recommendations on finding the right fit, etc? I don't know, it seems like kind of a silly question now that I've written it out but here we are.

Also if anyone has additional recommendations in the vein of a very naturally feminine person presenting more masculine I would love to hear them!

Thanks!

- Oliver
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flytrap

I wear alot of young mens clothes and see alot of other girls shopping in the guys department. I know you can't change how you feel, but least here in the southern US nobody thinks anything of a girl trying on or buys guys clothes. It's one of those weird double standards, not like a guy trying to buy a dress for himself.
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FTMDiaries

Hi there, and welcome to our little family!

When I started my transition, I did a reconnoissance mission of the men's departments of all the big clothing retailers  so I could figure out what sort of styles I like and who stocks stuff that fits me. I'm pretty much the same size as you and I have no trouble getting jeans etc. in my size, including skinny jeans.

I could offer recommendations about where to shop but it's difficult to know whether they'd be useful without knowing where in the world you are. Susan's has members from every inhabited continent so perhaps it would help if you mentioned which country you're in, and then I'm sure some recommendations will come in. I'm guessing you're somewhere in North America because you've referred to trousers as 'pants'. ;)

One good tip is that men's trousers tend to be measured in leg length and waist width. At your height your leg length is about 28-30 inches so you can try jeans in those sizes; but don't use your waist measurement because cis guys don't tend to have any major difference between their hip & waist sizes, whereas we of course do so our hips tend to be much wider than our waists. So instead, measure the widest part of your hips and use that for the 'waist' measurement in men's trousers.

You could then select trousers in those sizes & try them on in the changing rooms. If you don't pass as male or are worried about using the men's changing rooms, simply grab the trousers you want from the men's section, and try them on in the women's section.

And if you want to avoid a VPL under your clothing, you might want to try hipsters instead of boxers. There are some styles that don't have seams, and they don't show at all under even the tightest jeans.





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arice

It depends what kind of budget you're on. I do most of my shopping in thrift stores. I grab the clothes I like and try everything on. I would suggest trying a wider leg pant that falls straight down from your hips otherwise the curve of your leg will be quite feminine.
Where I live, change rooms in stores are usually unisex and are located in the middle of the store.
I have always worn men's clothes and no one has ever batted an eye about me trying them on.

Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk

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ProbablyOliver

Quote from: flytrap on February 23, 2017, 11:19:41 AM
I wear alot of young mens clothes and see alot of other girls shopping in the guys department. I know you can't change how you feel, but least here in the southern US nobody thinks anything of a girl trying on or buys guys clothes. It's one of those weird double standards, not like a guy trying to buy a dress for himself.

You know, it's super weird, because I don't have any issue buying shirts from the guy's department, but I get really anxious about the pants for some reason. You make a really good point though, that even though the double standard is unfortunate, I can probably use it in my favor at this point.

Thanks for the input!

- Oliver
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ProbablyOliver

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 23, 2017, 11:40:29 AM
Hi there, and welcome to our little family!

Hello, and thank you! :D

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 23, 2017, 11:40:29 AMWhen I started my transition, I did a reconnoissance mission of the men's departments of all the big clothing retailers  so I could figure out what sort of styles I like and who stocks stuff that fits me. I'm pretty much the same size as you and I have no trouble getting jeans etc. in my size, including skinny jeans.

This is so smart!!! I'm definitely stealing this modus operandi. I tend to shop at department stores mostly - again with the anxiety/internalized weirdness thing, I get super nervous about walking into exclusively men's shops or stores that cater more to men - which has the downside of usually being at least moderately crowded but the upside of having a sprawling youth men's department, which is where I usually get my stuff from. I'll definitely have to put together a list of cuts and fits and clothing styles that I like though - I have a general idea but I haven't really approached it with that level of focus before and I'm sure knowing off the top of my head what I need when I go in will take a lot of the stress out of the experience.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 23, 2017, 11:40:29 AMI'm guessing you're somewhere in North America because you've referred to trousers as 'pants'. ;)

You caught me! I'm currently in the South, though not the deepest part. I'm guessing you aren't in North America based on your use of trousers, haha. (I would also hazard a guess that 'pants' means underwear wherever you are. :P )

Thank you for the information on sizing!! I had done a cursory Google of how men measure pant size and gave it a run for when I was looking into getting underwear that fit, but it was probably mostly luck that I landed on the right measurement, haha.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 23, 2017, 11:40:29 AMAnd if you want to avoid a VPL under your clothing, you might want to try hipsters instead of boxers.

So I had never heard the term 'VPL' before and had to look it up and it struck me as so funny for some reason. I laughed way harder than I should have.

Luckily the styles I like are all either slim-fit or boxer briefs, so I haven't had much trouble with lines, and I've been absolutely loving them. I've tried hipsters before and am kind of lukewarm on them but I will definitely keep that in mind for outfits where a VPL (still laughing) might be a bigger issue.

Thank you so much for all of the excellent advice and info! I really appreciate it!

- Oliver
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ProbablyOliver

Quote from: arice on February 23, 2017, 02:59:01 PM
I would suggest trying a wider leg pant that falls straight down from your hips otherwise the curve of your leg will be quite feminine.

I will definitely look into some pants with different cuts! I have fairly wide hips and small feet so I might have to err on the side of something that still has a bit of a taper to it but this is a great suggestion.

Quote from: arice on February 23, 2017, 02:59:01 PMWhere I live, change rooms in stores are usually unisex and are located in the middle of the store.
I have always worn men's clothes and no one has ever batted an eye about me trying them on.

That sounds nice! There are places where I shop that have unisex fitting rooms and even though I know there's a high probability nobody would even look twice at me if I dragged a bunch of men's pants in there, a part of me is still kind of hung-up on it. Something to work through, I guess!

Thanks for the advice!

- Oliver
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FTMDiaries

Quote from: ProbablyOliver on February 24, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
I tend to shop at department stores mostly - again with the anxiety/internalized weirdness thing, I get super nervous about walking into exclusively men's shops or stores that cater more to men

Well, next time you pop into one of those male-oriented shops, just take a minute to look around you. You'll see that the majority of customers are... wait for it... women!

That's because a lot of cishet guys don't consider clothing to be important & will wear whatever they have as long as it's clean. Of course, their mothers or wives/girlfriends aren't happy with this state of affairs, so they tend to go out & buy new clothes for their guys. It's incredibly common! And it's not just older women: a lot of teenage girls will go into the men's department, either with or for their boyfriends, to make sure their boyfriends are dressed appropriately.

So you've got nothing to worry about. If the men's department is good enough for a mostly-female clientele to shop in, you will be perfectly fine there too. :)

You can also look into the policies of the retailers you're visiting. Some have LGBT-friendly policies; some have unisex changing rooms; some even have personal shoppers that can help you choose the right styles for you.

Quote from: ProbablyOliver on February 24, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
You caught me! I'm currently in the South, though not the deepest part. I'm guessing you aren't in North America based on your use of trousers, haha. (I would also hazard a guess that 'pants' means underwear wherever you are. :P )

The South you say? Well, take a look at the text above my avatar... I grew up in the actual South. As in the Southern Hemisphere. But yes, I'm now in the UK, where walking around in my pants in public would get me arrested for public indecency.  ;D

Quote from: ProbablyOliver on February 24, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
Thank you for the information on sizing!!

You're welcome. You can also use this information to shop online, if that helps. That'll eliminate your anxiety about going into the men's department and if anything doesn't fit you can just return it.

Quote from: ProbablyOliver on February 24, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
So I had never heard the term 'VPL' before and had to look it up and it struck me as so funny for some reason. I laughed way harder than I should have.

Glad you liked it! ;D

Quote from: ProbablyOliver on February 24, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
Thank you so much for all of the excellent advice and info! I really appreciate it!

Any time!  :)





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MeTony

I wear jeans with straight leg. To that a t-shirt and a hoodie. That is my everyday clothing. I buy them in the mens area. I wear my jeans on my hip. I hate jeans that covers my belly. Men's jeans fit me better than women's jeans. I have a small butt and my shoulders are normally wider than my hips. But now I weight about 20 kg too much. The fat is on my belly. I look almost pregnant. Or like a big bellied guy.

You can buy boy cloths. As said earlier, there are a lot of women doing that.

Last time I bought jeans, I had them sown because they were too long. When I picked up the jeans the girl called me Peter. My son who was with me thought it was very funny and called me Peter the rest of the day.
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TomTuttle

Shopping in men's is not a bad experience usually people don't care but I imagine that depends on where you live. I have managed to change in uniqlo men's changing rooms without any trouble and i wasn't even trying to pass or ever passing. Talking of Uniqlo, they will same day adjust your jeans to your leg length if your short. They did it for my small cis guy friend the other day who can't easily find jeans short enough. Also, yeah if your really small try boys since that should be cheaper. I recommend a slim cut, not skinny, because it will fill out your legs just a little and mask your curves a bit. Wear then so the band of your boxers shows, this should make them sit on your hips in a way that minimises that whole area.
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