I don't know if this will sound really ridiculous and petty, apologies in advance.

I've been out as nonbinary for just about a year now, and I'm out to pretty much everyone I know. Then there's the topic of a friend of mine from college last year. I've sort of distanced myself.

I've been out to him for a entirety of the time I've known him. I've politely reminded him of things like pronouns and name
I remember when I was discussing changing my name and he didn't even take me seriously. He even made the odd joke about me being more girly than I let on. Because I wore makeup for a photo shoot. Because he asked me to.

He's not taken me seriously, the only slight accepting thing he's done is said he wants to take pictures of me in drag (I'm a drag king)

The last straw was a couple days ago. He had a party. Which turned out to be only three of us. Instead of not being a douche canoe and trying to respect my name and pronouns to a person I don't know, he essentially outed me by constantly using my birthname and female pronouns. The point of pronouns and name for a trans or nonbinary person is for their comfort. Not the comfort of the person talking to them. You might think it's because it takes him time to adjust. I've known him since last year. Like I said earlier, I've been out the entirety of the time I've known him, and changed my name not that long after I'd met him. Various other people have known me longer, years, since school, and even longer, and they seem to make an effort.

I've corrected him before and he made some form of excuse I can't remember what it was. But honestly if he has to make an excuse instead of correcting himself, there's something wrong here. I feel like I shouldn't be sorry for correcting him as my name and pronouns are there to make me more comfortable. I shouldn't care about the comfort of other people seeing as it's my name and my identity and other people shouldn't be ignoring it like it doesn't matter.
Not gonna lie, whenever this particular person mentions my of birthname, it sounds like he doesn't take me seriously, that he feels like he decides what my identity is, and that he knows my gender better than I do.

I've been searching for similar stuff on the internet but I can't find anything that gives suggestions with what to do with the people who misgender you even though you've reminded or corrected them before.

Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately your options are very limited. You can tolerate him, misgender him or give up on him and find company with others who are more accepting. You situation is much like when I transitioned. I understood that there would be people and things that would not be a part of my new life. I tolerated my mothers misgendering until she got it right but I didn't expect my job would be something I would lose. It may be time for you to make a decision and that has to be something that you decide.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

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Hi, This must be quite distressing for you. I'm sorry you have to put up with this. I assume you like this person or you would have stopped talking to him by now?

Is it possible this guy has feelings for you and he can't accept your non-female gender because it would make you unavailable to him, in his mind at least? A bit off the wall but it is a possible explanation.

Hugs
B

Quote from: Dena on February 26, 2017, 11:17:29 AM
Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately your options are very limited. You can tolerate him, misgender him or give up on him and find company with others who are more accepting. You situation is much like when I transitioned. I understood that there would be people and things that would not be a part of my new life. I tolerated my mothers misgendering until she got it right but I didn't expect my job would be something I would lose. It may be time for you to make a decision and that has to be something that you decide.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
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I've pretty much just given up on this guy. Even without the misgendering issue, he's still not the greatest guy as he pretty much only talks to me if he wants something. I've even tried to ask if he wanted to hang out and later on sent him another message on an unrelated topic, he ignored me asking him to hang out but replied to my other message. I've since unfriended him on social media and just told him I'm busy if he wants to meet up.

Quote from: BirlPower on February 26, 2017, 12:58:14 PM
Hi, This must be quite distressing for you. I'm sorry you have to put up with this. I assume you like this person or you would have stopped talking to him by now?

Is it possible this guy has feelings for you and he can't accept your non-female gender because it would make you unavailable to him, in his mind at least? A bit off the wall but it is a possible explanation.

Hugs
B

I've got rid of this guy (in the amount of time it's taken me to get back on this forum and reply.. I forgot my password) and he's no longer on my social media. We were friends with benefits for half a year, eventually I just lost interest and also I wasn't as responsible/safe as I could have been, so I just stopped seeing him. He suggested we date but I kindly rejected him, telling him it's because we're more close as friends (but in reality it's because he keeps misgendering me and that's not really a good feature in a partner imo). He was okay for a while afterward, but then see above, where I mentioned he basically ignored me asking him to hang out instead of just saying no like any other human being.
Since then he's asked to hang out and I've said I can't, because he only seems to ask to hang out because we'd be getting wasted (funny that all my friends only seem to want to hang out when booze is involved).
I've distanced myself from him and other people for different reasons, the only person I've really hung out with outside of college is my boyfriend. It's slightly depressing.
Sorry that derailed into a "why my friends are ->-bleeped-<-s"  but I needed to get it out of my system somehow.