no matter if lgbt, every1 can turn me on

Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on April 02, 2009, 03:16:32 AM
I think a lot of it is trial and error.  I'm still sort of figuring out what I like and don't like sexually.  But I've also found that while it seems that on the surface you'd be at a disadvantage not having any srs--really it's a great way to filter out people, and make sure you're spending time with people who really want you for all of you.  It's also important for me that the relationship not be completely tied up in sex either.

But I'd say more men and women are interested than you'd think.

And like i said in the other thread, Bisexuals tend to be a natural ally for the non-op.  Just because their attraction is not tied to your genetalia, its tied to who you are.  And if you have a penis where you should have a vagina, or vice versa, they tend to just roll with it.

Honestly, beautiful is beautiful.  And who you are and how you act is about 90 percent of it.

Brilliantly said, Sarah.  Rock on!  My sentiment exactly. 

Actually, I believe you are absolutely right that more men AND women would be interested in a nonop than one would believe.  Heck, I'm in mid-transition, not exactly young but still am in good shape ... and get checked out by BOTH sexes.  I'm sure that many of YOU get checked out too ... whether you realize it or not.  What a hoot!  Also, you can pretty much tell whenever somebody is checking you out in "that way."   

While I have absolutely nothing whatsoever against any of you on here who are into guys, and many of you are, my preference is for women.  Sorry, but it just is ... always has been.  Whenever I imagine a "kiss and cuddle" session with a guy, it does not appeal to me at all.

In a perfect world, I'd be majorly thrilled with a hot, sexy, smart ... bisexual woman ! ... who is way into how I am and how I look.  Often times, I've considered a truly attractive nonop T-girl as a bisexual's dream come true.  Well, hell ... I'd be thrilled to be that for a gal like I've just described here.   While I'd prefer a GG, a postop T-girl would do just fine, thank you very much.  Why the distinction?  Because, no matter how deft the surgeon's touch and artful their craft, nothing works, looks or feels like "original manufacturer's equipment!"   

Hoo, boy!  Are some people gonna be miffed at me for sayin' that!  Hey, I stand by that statement.

   Lacey

California is just south of me ... bound to be a hot bi girl THERE! ... let's go!



Like, OMG!  Even David Lee Roth is cute ... Oh, NO!  What am I saying?   

I haven't done a whole lot of dating, but I've learn to appreciate the honesty is best policy for a couple reasons.

First, I tend to be suspicious of everyone until I hang out with a person for some time, (I've some very bad experiences with "friends" maybe more so than "lovers"), so I test waters by slowly bringing up issues about the LGBTQA community early on, and weed out people who are homophobic from my imaginary "possible date list."  This goes even for acquaintances who I'm interested in becoming friends with.

Secondly, I've sometimes told people some time into dating, weeks or many months into dating, and it becomes a big thing of the other person thinking about it and then coming to a "I love you no matter what" decision, and then... oh man does that make the break-up part real hard.  It made me feel indebted to a person, feeling like "they got past something that big for me, I should try to get over his/her insert thing I don't like here.  One partner used it as a guilty things whenever we had a fight, and when I no longer felt guilty about it because he played the card so often, he started to try to humiliate me with the knowledge and it worked for three years.  If I had been upfront I could have just said, "hey, you knew what you were getting into from the start jerkwad."  Then again, that was my first real serious boyfriend so maybe I would have been stupid no matter what.

I think it's easier for me, because I have a large group of male friends I hang out with who know I identify as male.  When a guy wants to make a move he'll usually consult the other guys to find out more about me, and if the guy would be uncool with the knowledge usually do a "nah, I think 'she's' interested in someone right now" or something like that for me.  Also, I tend to know a lot of art school, or theater people and while they might not understand what being gender queer is all about, it tends to make them more open to the idea.

A note on the bisexuality thing.  I think on the scale of 1 being completely straight and 10 being completely gay I'm an 8.  I'm far more attracted to men, but occasionally there is a girl who turns my head.  I consider myself a gay man, with bi-curious tendencies, but while I must admit I really do care what's between the legs, the real deal breaker is how masculine the person makes me feel. That and I am awful when it comes to having my ego stroked.  I could be in a relationship for a long time when a girl knows just what to say, even if I could be a more attracted to her.  Maybe that has way more to do with my near to non-existent self-esteem and inability to self-validate, but I'll leave that to my futre therapist to figure out.

Wow, so little acceptance for online dating. I met my boyfriend online. I'm across the street from him now. It's not for everyone, but it can work. Just do your research and you can avoid the internet predators more easily than you think.

Oh well, back to topic. I just thank God I have a bisexual boyfriend who doesn't care what parts are on me xD. If I weren't with him though, not sure. In my experience, men can be pretty violent when their sexual orientation is being questioned if you go after the wrong guy. I would personally avoid all casual dating and one night stands. I can't trust those people to be comfortable with my body. I really don't know what alternative I'd take. Since it already worked so well for me and so many others I know, I'd likely go to online dating again (but avoid doing long distance again XP). I'd also stick to guys I've been good friends with first. Basically everything I did to get to this wonderful relationship :'P. Oh God, I really hope I don't have to date again, I love this man too much @_@.

Quote from: Darth_Taco on January 13, 2011, 07:05:19 AM
Wow, so little acceptance for online dating. I met my boyfriend online. I'm across the street from him now. It's not for everyone, but it can work. Just do your research and you can avoid the internet predators more easily than you think.

Oh well, back to topic. I just thank God I have a bisexual boyfriend who doesn't care what parts are on me xD. If I weren't with him though, not sure. In my experience, men can be pretty violent when their sexual orientation is being questioned if you go after the wrong guy. I would personally avoid all casual dating and one night stands. I can't trust those people to be comfortable with my body. I really don't know what alternative I'd take. Since it already worked so well for me and so many others I know, I'd likely go to online dating again (but avoid doing long distance again XP). I'd also stick to guys I've been good friends with first. Basically everything I did to get to this wonderful relationship :'P. Oh God, I really hope I don't have to date again, I love this man too much @_@.

Hi Darth I agree.

I am very glad there is such a thing like online dating where I can be honest about myself from the start.
There are good guys amongst the so called "->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s" too! But you have to use your intuition and commen sense wisely to filter out the "bad guys".
When I go out with friends in a bar or club I can sometimes feel uncomfortable when boys flirt with me... because I am not sure what it is they see (do they see/know I am a TS or do they not?).
I am in a position where I never can be sure, some dont see it while others see it right away. It really depends on the person... and also if that person has a special nose for detecting TS woman too

love
Birgit

I know this thread is dead but I feel compeled to give my input.

Im a CIS male, and I consider myself straight. Although I would date a pre-op tgirl(if she was feminine enough). I know that there are many guys like m, this essentially because we do infact like penis, we just don't like the body that it is usually attatched to(male body). We kinda see you guys as hermaphrodites(futanaris).

Does this make me bi? I don't think so. But I realize that my sexuality is subjective.

Hi Crash...

There is a rather sci-fi word for me...and people that love me...

gynandromorph and gynandromorphiliacs lol something like that.... I hope I spelled it right...

I can give you a warning right away...
You are for many ts woman a confrontationalist because you let them know that you are able to love them as they are and BECAUSE they are TS woman, and not ordinary woman...

Most of them just want to be viewed and treated like woman, some are disgusted by the idea that anyone might like them, some even will be furious and call you gay because they think that once they have a vagina, only straight guys will date them... and when pre-op... its like gay sex etc...

In other words... most TS woman, from my experience are not really able to honestly look in the mirror and to be rational about themselves

Its not my favorite thing to look in the mirror lol, ik hate the damn thing .... and its hard to be a girl like me...
but I am a non op/pre op... and am well aware of my situation and that there are men out there that do like me for what I am...and even for who I am.

But I dont like the guys that have a focus on my male parts and expect me to be masculine in bed... that goes to far for me....

I do like guys that are masculine and are not really interested in what I have down below, but aren't bothered by it either... I have learned that when a man is masculine enough, treats me respectfully and like a woman,  makes love to me as if I was a woman, I dont mind him touching me etc... but that's about it....I will never top.

Most TS girls that do top, most likely do so for financial reasons (like escort).
There are TS girls out there of course that do like to top, but they are a minority... When you enjoy beeing topped one will probably end up dating transvestites... instead of ts woman that are on hormones....

I am not in the dating scene... I want looooveeeee...

So thats the subject I am interested in, unfortunately its very easy to be someone's fantasy as a TS... but it's way harder to be their lover...for obvious reasons like: they have to come out of a closet even though it isn't exactly the gay one, there will always be people that think so.

And when you are just a fantasy of another man, when will you become a person for them, and one they want to love just the way she is...

Love is much harder to find...
But perhaps love is always rare

x
Birgit

Quote from: Birgitta on April 07, 2011, 04:46:59 PM
Hi Crash...

There is a rather sci-fi word for me...and people that love me...

gynandromorph and gynandromorphiliacs lol something like that.... I hope I spelled it right...

I can give you a warning right away...
You are for many ts woman a confrontationalist because you let them know that you are able to love them as they are and BECAUSE they are TS woman, and not ordinary woman...

Most of them just want to be viewed and treated like woman, some are disgusted by the idea that anyone might like them, some even will be furious and call you gay because they think that once they have a vagina, only straight guys will date them... and when pre-op... its like gay sex etc...

In other words... most TS woman, from my experience are not really able to honestly look in the mirror and to be rational about themselves

Its not my favorite thing to look in the mirror lol, ik hate the damn thing .... and its hard to be a girl like me...
but I am a non op/pre op... and am well aware of my situation and that there are men out there that do like me for what I am...and even for who I am.

But I dont like the guys that have a focus on my male parts and expect me to be masculine in bed... that goes to far for me....

I do like guys that are masculine and are not really interested in what I have down below, but aren't bothered by it either... I have learned that when a man is masculine enough, treats me respectfully and like a woman,  makes love to me as if I was a woman, I dont mind him touching me etc... but that's about it....I will never top.

Most TS girls that do top, do so for financial reasons (like escort)

Actually, I'm very masculine, I run, lift weights, and played football in high school.
I'm pretty masculine in bed, but I do like penis.

I view masculinity as something else entirely...
I rather have you knitting all day and be 100% top...with a masculine sexuality
then in the army wanting me to penetrate you,

What sexuality a guy identifies with does not interest me at all...
he can be gay for all I care...... as long as he is masculine and gives me a female role next to him...

Quote from: Birgitta on April 07, 2011, 05:10:10 PM
I view masculinity as something else entirely...
I rather have you knitting all day and be 100% top...with a masculine sexuality
then in the army wanting me to penetrate you,

What sexuality a guy identifies with does not interest me at all...
he can be gay for all I care...... as long as he is masculine and gives me a female role next to him...

If I were to date a non-op(like you for example) I'd still want to be masculine in bed, though sometimes I'd have the urge to be penetrated(orally, not anally).

Although when I date women, I'm "the man" in the relationship" persay.

I've had a lot of men interested in me and try to get dates. But my simple safety rule is I will only date bisexuals.

That doesn't mean they have to label themselves that way. There are many women who call themselves lesbians, who fit the bisexual range. I had one lesbian girlfriend who was insisting that I'm lesbian because I told her I'm attracted to masculine women and feminine men. She said, "Yes, that makes you lesbian."

The best moment is at the end of the first date because at that time the partner knows that they likes you enough and it's more easy for them to accept your status.
In the case of males dating a woman I think that there is an high chance, if he already likes you, that he won't run away.
Most men fantasizes about transgender sex already and they will be happy to experiment.

from a straight pre-op woman's perspective who's been going on dates with men quite extensively over the past 2 years I have made the following conclusions:
1. plenty of men are fine with it and a lot of them don't care as much as you'd think. If they're attracted to you as a woman this won't stop them from being intimate with you.
2. if you look hot a lot of men will hit you up (but that doesn't mean they'll date you though).
3. if a guy has a problem with you being trans, chances are he is going to reject you regardless if you're pre post or non-op.
4. being post op in dating terms can be a plus only if you're stealth or if you just want to have casual sex with men.

I'm engaged to a cisman. He's in London and I'm in Arizona (we've met five times) and we've been together for six years. We met each other on asexuality.org. We both used to consider ourselves ace but that gradually changed...so we never really were I guess. He knew I was FtM before we started dating...he accepts me for every part that I am, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Long distance is taking its toll on me though...I feel like I'm slowly caving in on myself..

LDR online can work but it takes two special people to make it work..

The topic of me getting top surgery is iffy. He says I shouldn't because I enjoy my chest too much. He won't admit it but he doesn't want me to get top surgery cuz...well..a bit of him is heterosexual. I'm still uncertain what to do with it.

I wonder how many usually-straight guys would be okay with dating non-op trans? From what I can gather, it's "more than you'd think, if they like you". Not "most", or even "a lot", just ... more than one might think?

Hi just thought id have a say ☺

I was born male grew up male and at about 7 years old i knew something was odd about me and although i lived a straight life and my ex and i have a child , after we split and i had been feeling more and more progressively odd i realized and decided to just come out as bi.

However vague choosing an orientation like that seems,  i had to pick something.

I made the decision to tell my work people and some of my friends and my immediate family.

I decided to post this in what appears to be a dead thread because i read all 4 pages of it first.

I want people to see it from my point of view as a bi male.

I still like women the same as i always did as a straight person but i also like male genitalia
I dont really care about the rest of a mans body but im in 2 mind's about having some good gay sex, as in, i am craving it hardcore.
But what i really want is a transgender woman who is male to female non-op

because it should be quite clear that although i was the man, i am a girl trapped in a mans body who can be versatile in sexual role top or bottom but after many considerations and consultations with my doctor i have decides to stay the man and find a local non-op transgender woman for a relationship of wich i hope lasts the test of time.

Its of real concern to me reading things like 10 tips to dating a transgender woman.
Its virtually a list of why men are ->-bleeped-<-s.

So heres my dilemma if i keep reading list of do's and donts, i may as well give up on finding someone.
And ill leave that to your own interpretation of those webpages.

It bugs me that i read alot of comments saying " men only seem to care if i have a penis "and "some men reject me cause i do".

Some men are into non -ops because thats how they are wired in the brain and although it may seem they are only after your penis its because its important to them the same way its important to me, makes me no less capable of being a great partner or a genuine person.

I hope by explaining who and what i am first, helps explain why.

Quote from: Trino on August 05, 2017, 10:44:23 AM
Hi just thought id have a say ☺

I was born male grew up male and at about 7 years old i knew something was odd about me and although i lived a straight life and my ex and i have a child , after we split and i had been feeling more and more progressively odd i realized and decided to just come out as bi.

However vague choosing an orientation like that seems,  i had to pick something.

I made the decision to tell my work people and some of my friends and my immediate family.

I decided to post this in what appears to be a dead thread because i read all 4 pages of it first.

I want people to see it from my point of view as a bi male.

I still like women the same as i always did as a straight person but i also like male genitalia
I dont really care about the rest of a mans body but im in 2 mind's about having some good gay sex, as in, i am craving it hardcore.
But what i really want is a transgender woman who is male to female non-op

because it should be quite clear that although i was the man, i am a girl trapped in a mans body who can be versatile in sexual role top or bottom but after many considerations and consultations with my doctor i have decides to stay the man and find a local non-op transgender woman for a relationship of wich i hope lasts the test of time.

Its of real concern to me reading things like 10 tips to dating a transgender woman.
Its virtually a list of why men are ->-bleeped-<-s.

So heres my dilemma if i keep reading list of do's and donts, i may as well give up on finding someone.
And ill leave that to your own interpretation of those webpages.

It bugs me that i read alot of comments saying " men only seem to care if i have a penis "and "some men reject me cause i do".

Some men are into non -ops because thats how they are wired in the brain and although it may seem they are only after your penis its because its important to them the same way its important to me, makes me no less capable of being a great partner or a genuine person.

I hope by explaining who and what i am first, helps explain why.

Trino,

Welcome to the site.

Not really sure what you are looking for here. You are welcome nevertheless.  Almost sounds like you are not all of one side or another (male or female). I may be totally wrong. However there is a whole category here for non-binary.

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please [remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.

I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site. It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on April 02, 2009, 03:16:32 AM
Bisexuals tend to be a natural ally for the non-op.  Just because their attraction is not tied to your genetalia, its tied to who you are.  And if you have a penis where you should have a vagina, or vice versa, they tend to just roll with it.

I found this true too.. It can be hard if you are not "obviously" TG/TS, where the person will need telling.

Quote from: napelover on September 15, 2016, 02:58:43 PM
Most men fantasizes about transgender sex already and they will be happy to experiment.

Amazing how many do.  They also like the smooth look of no <testes>!

Quote from: Annwyn on July 16, 2009, 03:52:47 AM

....Frankly... a penis is easier to mess with than a vagina.  If I were a guy and could pick between a gg girl or a tgirl, I'd choose the latter because it's easier to give head that way

....I've had a bit of a new perspective to consider in the past few weeks as I've been doing escort work.  All these guys who are without a doubt 100% heterosexual, willing to pay money to be with a woman with a member.  I mean, frankly it's opened my eyes, and I'm seeing a lot of guys my age just to date now as well, who knows how many as it seems there's a new one everyday.  I have a large selection of athletic, educated and creative young men to pick from eventually just by advertising the peculiar parts of my anatomy.

There are so many guys that love to give head to a tgirl or getting head from us!  Being an escort means you get plenty of men who know what they want and what they are getting.


Moderator Edit: We encourage our members to clinical terms for body parts.

It  so much has to do with how a potential relationship partner is concerned about what other people think. I've learned that most people are attracted to us however the issue is always about how they think other people may react to them dating a transsexual. In my opinion talking to them upfront about what kind of girl we are is necessary though. It's not advisable to distract them or to mislead them into thinking we have a vagina. In regards to intimacy, I have come to terms with the fact that I can appreciate and enjoy my genitals as much as do all of errogenous zones and accept it as another area for stimulation, it's a large clit and external ovaries so I enjoy them the way most females enjoy theirs. It's difficult at first to accept yet in reality it's really quite an easy to figure out concept.

Quote from: Annwyn on July 16, 2009, 03:52:47 AM
How could you possibly not kiss someone until age 20?   j/k

I lost my virginity when I was 11 O_O  I think I had my first "gf" in kindergarten.  I can't quite call it that, but I do know we had experimented quite a bit with each other's lips.

If you asked me how many people I've been with, I really couldn't even begin to tell you, or even give a ballpark estimate.  I think I've dated maybe... 100-150 people, only including the relationships that lasted longer than two weeks.

Dang, you sound just like me