Here is the situation. I have committed to attending my first ever trans woman meeting tonight. That's not the problem. I have also never been dressed for a public event before. I think I have decided to wear a pink polo type top, slim ladies jeans, and black with purple trim and laces women's athletic shoes. Over that I'll have a 3/4 sleeve cardigan light gray sweater. I can sneak out wearing those things covered with a men's jacket and I wear a black cowboy hat.
  That I think I can do.  I am thinking I might be able to do a bit of light makeup, a pair of cute CW heart post earrings,  one of my wigs, and a purse. If I was to do this I would be presenting as a woman in public for the first time. I want to but I'm not sure I can do it. I spent several hours last night hunting down this better wig and shoes for this event.

  What do you think?

   Hugs,
     Jeanette

You will ROCK'em. That outfit sounds perfect. 

Have you touched base with one of the organizers to find what others will be wearing?  I ask because if you decide that you are not ready, maybe you can attend in male clothes or just plain androgynous.

Quote from: Denise on March 03, 2017, 03:15:15 PM
You will ROCK'em. That outfit sounds perfect. 

Have you touched base with one of the organizers to find what others will be wearing?  I ask because if you decide that you are not ready, maybe you can attend in male clothes or just plain androgynous.

  No I haven't asked. I did however tell my crutch (Tessa.James) that I would be going in male mode "If" I went. She said that was fine. She is familiar with the meeting and I believe she said she was even on the board of the Q Center where it is meeting.  I say she is my crutch because she will be there tonight and I hope to meet her too.
   It was after telling her I would be in male mode that I got to thinking I could possibly wear what I described.

  Thank you Denise for the vote of confidence.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Jeanette,
   So my take on this, since it is a first time event type thing is this. Try to make it a positive experience above all. Pushing the envelope is great if it is you. I think it is more important to do it in a way that is you and not worrying about what someone else's reaction might be. I went to my first trans conference in guy clothes except for a bra and a bracelet. It meant nothing about my future as I haven't worn guy clothes in almost 9 months. It was what got my foot in the door in a positive way. For me, with my mind frame back then, I was pushing the envelope. For you, you must find the balance knowing that you will do more and more as time goes. My wish for you would be to soak it all in, learn about yourself. The details will be soon forgotten. My opinion.
Moni
HAVE FUN!

Jeanette, just go how you want too...life is too short and opportunities when you first start to transition can be few and far between. You are going to a safe environment with other like minded souls, you don't have to be perfect, your can consider yourself a work in progress I know I consider myself that way....think what this could do for your psyche...I have said to myself on more than one occasion ..."How in the heck do you expect to live as a woman if you won't go out the front door" There has to be a first time for everything...The thinking about it is far scarier than the doing.

Your outfit sounds great and you will look fabulous
Let us know how the night went

Liz

Thank for the advice Moni and Liz. I am going in the pink top,sweater, jeans and shoes probably the earrings and maybe a simple necklace. That much I have decided on. I'm not sure I can sneak out with makeup and wig, but yes, I think I want to do it. It would be pushing things a bit but I think I would be okay once I got there.

  Jeanette

Your outfit sounds great, and like just the thing for a casual Friday meeting with the girls! You are your own worst critic.

I personally went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago and, after trying on a million outfits and fussing with my makeup until I was already running late, I chickened out on basically everything but some light makeup and ballet flats. I was so nervous to go until I walked in and there were people at all stages of dress at the meeting. Even one of the regular members who was days away from going full-time at work had family in town and had to come in her full man drag. Everyone will be understanding no matter what you choose to wear.

I'm rooting for you--let me know how it goes, Jeanette!

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 03, 2017, 05:37:32 PM
Thank for the advice Moni and Liz. I am going in the pink top,sweater, jeans and shoes probably the earrings and maybe a simple necklace. That much I have decided on. I'm not sure I can sneak out with makeup and wig, but yes, I think I want to do it. It would be pushing things a bit but I think I would be okay once I got there.

  Jeanette

Who will object to the makeup and wig? are you trying to do this stealth? sorry if I missed something

Liz

  Thank you P for the insight of what to expect and your own experience. It helps.

 

Quote from: ElizabethK on March 03, 2017, 05:39:24 PM
Who will object to the makeup and wig? are you trying to do this stealth? sorry if I missed something

Liz

I live in an apartment complex with my sister. No one including my sister knows about Jeanette.  So I have to get ready  without my sister knowing then sneak out and back in.  Such in the life of a closeted trans woman. /sigh

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 03, 2017, 05:46:27 PM
  Thank you P for the insight of what to expect and your own experience. It helps.

 
I live in an apartment complex with my sister. No one including my sister knows about Jeanette.  So I have to get ready  without my sister knowing then sneak out and back in.  Such in the life of a closeted trans woman. /sigh

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Ok got you...make sure you have a set of guy clothes in the boot of your car...just a sweater and track pants will do...You can always put on your makeup at the venue. Most  ladies rooms have great mirrors in them...so fixing your wig shouldn't be a problem....anyway have fun and enjoy

Liz

How very cool.

I have never actually been to any sort of support group or social group for trans people. (unless you count a protest) and i stopped wearing any guy clothes in late 2014/ early 2015. It was a bit strange going full time without really knowing any other trans folks locally and personally.

The outfit sounds great i love cardigans. I don't know what your opinion on polo shirts are but to me they are one of the more masculine things a woman can wear and not in a bad a#$ way like a leather jacket and dock martins, so i am not a super fan of them. However yours is both pink and will be under a cute sweater so there you go

Enjoy meeting new friends!

You can always ask if they have a setup for getting ready on site.  The group sessions my therapist puts on has a room specifically for people in your situation.  (and likely mine if I can ever get a stinking Tuesday when I'm not traveling for work)

Robyn thank you.

  This top is like a polo in that it has a normal shirt collar the front of the neck is an open buttonless straight slit about 4 inches down that opens in a V to the collar. Like little lapels. A polo on the other hand has like a button fly that overlaps to button. This is a little more feminine.

I think that should describe it

  Jeanette

Quote from: Estelle_maybe? on March 03, 2017, 06:13:19 PM
You can always ask if they have a setup for getting ready on site.  The group sessions my therapist puts on has a room specifically for people in your situation.  (and likely mine if I can ever get a stinking Tuesday when I'm not traveling for work)

I should be okay Estelle. the worst part in getting there is I will have to park in the neighborhood and walk a couple block to the meeting place.

  Jeanette

Jeanette, you'll be fine no matter how you go. These groups tend to be extremely accepting and understanding.

I had to sneak out with a grocery bag of stuff and do a quick change in a Starbucks restroom more than once. That is long gone, oh, just months and months ago, but I still remember the nerves. [emoji6] You'll be fine.

Have fun!  It is nice to discover a new slice of life!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks Michelle

  I hope to have fun and how can I not if Tessa.James is there to hold my hand? She dared me to go so she better be there.

  Jeanette

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 03, 2017, 06:15:46 PM
I should be okay Estelle. the worst part in getting there is I will have to park in the neighborhood and walk a couple block to the meeting place.

  Jeanette

Ah yes I could see that potentially being kind of completely terrifying.

Remember what I said about your doctor? The same will happen here. However you decide to show up will be accepted by the group and you will have a great time.

  Well I did it. I went to the support meeting and met Tessa there. I went as Jeanette with my wig, earrings and light make up. I wore what I described earlier.  I survived ! 
  The meeting was a bit different. Different than what I don't know. I guess that isn't fair as it was my first trans meeting and I really didn't have any reference to gauge it against. I got the feeling this meeting was a bit out of the norm tonight so I guess I still don't quite know what it should have been like.
   The best part for me was getting to meet Tessa in person. I didn't quite recognize her but she recognized me from my avatar here and introduced herself to me. We did get a little bit of time to chat and I was happy for it.
   I did manage to sneak out to the meeting and back in without getting caught.
  That's about it! I went as promised. I was Jeanette for the outing. I survived it.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Great stuff...glad it worked out sop well for you

Liz