Well done Hon!!!

The first step is always the hardest and soon you will be flying off to al sorts of places.

I think we need to work on the apartment issue though?

Quote from: Cindy on March 04, 2017, 01:09:34 AM
Well done Hon!!!

I think we need to work on the apartment issue though?

Thank you Liz and Cindy.  You have any ideas Cindy?

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 04, 2017, 01:22:38 AM

Quote from: Cindy on March 04, 2017, 01:09:34 AM
Well done Hon!!!

I think we need to work on the apartment issue though?

Thank you Liz and Cindy.  You have any ideas Cindy?

Well there is only one answer and that is to become an uncloseted woman. How to do that is the trick. How is your sister in accepting you and what her factors affect your life and ability to transition?

What are your future plans? Do you intend to transition or are you happy as you are and having the occasional forays.

How you wish to live your life is the only factor to consider, there are no right or wrong answers!

I went FT some 9 years ago or so after I realised that the occasional night out was not for me and that I need to be free. Of course it was a very hard decision with all sorts of pain and doubts but the end result has been marvellous.

Quote from: Cindy on March 04, 2017, 01:45:18 AM
Thank you Liz and Cindy.  You have any ideas Cindy?


Well there is only one answer and that is to become an uncloseted woman. How to do that is the trick. How is your sister in accepting you and what her factors affect your life and ability to transition?

What are your future plans? Do you intend to transition or are you happy as you are and having the occasional forays.

How you wish to live your life is the only factor to consider, there are no right or wrong answers!

I went FT some 9 years ago or so after I realised that the occasional night out was not for me and that I need to be free. Of course it was a very hard decision with all sorts of pain and doubts but the end result has been marvellous.

Well Cindy I'm working on one part of all that. It is after midnight so that means I've got 3 months of HRT in me. I hope to become "uncloseted" as you put it. My sister is dependent on me for room and board due to her own health issue and her 2 sons are not able to support themselves properly let alone their Mom. As for her attitude, I had to explain LGBTQ to her the other day when she heard it on the news. Afterward she commented "Well why didn't they just say weirdos?". I also have other coming out concerns one of which is my daughter's family and my 5 grandchildren. Yeah I know, all of us have those things to deal with. And so will I in time. Can I get and talk with a gender therapist first?

   I'm working on it, I've just gotten started and I don't think I have completely convinced myself yet. Little steps, little steps.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 04, 2017, 02:09:35 AM
My sister is dependent on me for room and board due to her own health issue and her 2 sons are not able to support themselves properly let alone their Mom. As for her attitude, I had to explain LGBTQ to her the other day when she heard it on the news. Afterward she commented "Well why didn't they just say weirdos?". I also have other coming out concerns one of which is my daughter's family and my 5 grandchildren.

Jeannette,

   I don't say there are any guarantees, but consider this. Your sister views LGBTQIA issues as something that doesn't affect the people she  knows. A big factor could be lack of exposure and lack of knowledge. She thinks of you as male and maybe even thinks she should respond that way for your benefit. I have relatives who are red-necky who I know don't think kindly of trans or gay folks. I got an explanation from my brother in law. He said family trumped everything. He has a gay nephew and a trans sister in law, me. It is not the basis of acceptance I prefer, but it is one I can live with, I think. It is  harder for people to hate a group when they love a person in that group. I tell you this because a person in your stage of pre-coming out may see it as only negative reaction possibilities. I was certainly convinced everyone would reject me. You are smart to take it in steps, at your pace. I would urge you to keep in mind the positive reactions are possible. You will get a mixture, I would guess.
   I have a gross analogy for coming out. You know when you are sick to your stomach and try anything not to throw up because you hate the feeling. You lay in bed tossing and turning, feeling awful. Finally, you run to the bathroom and do what nature says must happen. Afterward, you feel so much better. Well that is how coming out is. It might be painful doing it, but afterward you get rid of that burden that tortured you. My yucky moment for the day.
   I feel for you because this is such a scary time in your life. Don't let the fear fool you into running from something that is right for you, whatever that is.
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on March 04, 2017, 09:47:47 AM
Jeannette,

   
   I have a gross analogy for coming out. You know when you are sick to your stomach and try anything not to throw up because you hate the feeling. You lay in bed tossing and turning, feeling awful. Finally, you run to the bathroom and do what nature says must happen. Afterward, you feel so much better. Well that is how coming out is. It might be painful doing it, but afterward you get rid of that burden that tortured you.
Moni

  I will agree with you but sometimes you're left with an awful taste in your mouth.

Thanks Moni for the encouragement.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Congratulations, Jeanette!  That's a big step forward. Yeah, I was scared to death my first time out to a new place. It gets easier as we become more comfortable with ourselves.

Hugs,
Michelle


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Michelle,

  I don't think I was scared about going. I have been to many many new AA meetings in the past so I think I'm used to that. Yes it was a bit different for me and going in "girl" mode yet but I kind of knew what to expect. Besides I knew I'd have Tessa there to hold my hand. That helped. 

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

jealous or what, I cant find any groups or meetings . Well done on getting out and surviving . 

Congratulations Jeannette! That sounds like an awesome first step. One of many to come.  I remember my first time was a cold, winter day.  The day after I came out.  I made a trip to the $ store en femme and got sirred. Not at all an auspicious unveiling, but it was a start.  You're doing great!

Thank  you both Davina and Jane Emily,
   Going to a meeting where everyone there is like you isn't as difficult as going out in the wild public environs of commerce and interfacing with "Them"  Now THAT"S scary.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Facing the hordes of retail drones freaks me out as well.

Good to hear you did alright last night.

Thanks Estelle

I am so happy for you Jeanette--you are so brave! Big hugs!! 

Thank you P. I wasn't so brave because I knew Tessa would be there to hold my hand.

Jeanette

I'm so jealous you and Tessa got to hang out! Want to fly out east to hold my hand for my meeting tonight?!   

   Yes P, I did get to meet Tessa and it was the big incentive for me going in the first place. I also wanted to be able to answer my gender therapist (if I ever get one /sigh) That yes I have been to a support and have participated in this group online as well as met an made a friend of another people like me.

  Sorry, I'll have to pass on flying out to meet you. I vowed I will never fly again due to all the airport hassles and airline price gouging. Besides I prefer to drive. 

I'm not sure I saw where "here" is P. Never know I may just be driving through someday....

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

Here is NJ--quite the schlep from OR by car!

   P

  Yes, quite a road trip. I love them though. I have made 2 trips tp Florida and about 4 to western Mizzery in the last couple years. I have friends in both places and by driving to Florida I crossed Georgia and Alabama off my "States I have been in" list. They were #48 and #49 for me. There is one left and I plan to get to it this year. Mizzery will be a stop again ( I will be coming out to my friends there ) and I may just deliver a couple Maine lobsters to Florida (and another coming out) if I can.
  That was a hint, state # 50 is Maine.
  So you never know....

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Did someone say ROAD TRIP!  OK girlfriend we have yet another chance to plan a fun outing.  I am going back to Georgia and Florida likely in April to see kids and planned to fly but hey we got wheels right?  Oh this could be sooo fun and I am excited by the possibilities.  There are plenty of sisters and brothers we might stop and visit with there and along the way too! 

I hope you know it is a real honor to have been able to meet you and be any part of supporting your coming out.  I used to worry about every darn detail of how I looked only to find most folks didn't really notice much and are pretty busy with their own day.  We sure did have diversity going strong with a great roomful of us!

You are brave and any step you take forward at your own pace is a cause for celebration of the real and whole YOU.  I was lucky enough to often be surprised with how many people responded to my coming out with support.  We have more to offer when we let our family and friends have a glimpse a little deeper inside.  Good for you!