Does anyone else feel to scared to post anything on these forums?  I know that it is ok, and that everyone here is supposed to be like family, but I am terrified to post things.  Be it personal, or an answer to someone else's question.  Please tell me I'm not alone.  The only way I have been able to post this is with the help of alcohol, and lots of it.  (Don't hate me, nor make fun of me, as these forums are the only place I have to go to even be close to around friends, as I have none in life).


Mods, I'll be feeling terrible about posting this later, and will be getting in touch.

Nothing to be scared of here.  We're all in the same situation, to one degree or another.  Also, it's unlikely anyone can find out who you are, unless you post personal identification.  Bottom line, nothing will happen.

No need to worry.  We're all like-minded individuals.  I'm glad you do post here because I know how helpful it can be.  Just be brave, and if you continue posting, you'll grow to feel very cared for by the wonderful people here.  And if you ever need to talk, but have the fear of posting, you're welcome to PM me as well. [emoji170]


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From the time I first visited this forum to the time I made my first post was eight years.  You are doing better than  me already.  :-)


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

Let me put it this way, suppose a co-worker of yours just stumbles onto a post where you mention you were out of work on Monday. A) how many hundreds of thousands do you think were out that Monday, B) why was your coworker here?
Even if they make the unreasonable leap in logic to say you must be this person on this site, they were here too, so maybe all that happens is you just made a new friend by coincidence.

On this site the TOS is enforced. TOS 5,9,10 and 15 protect any user from being attacked by another. If a user becomes aggressive, a moderator WILL take corrective action. Members who are unable to behave may have their posts reviewed before they become visible up to a ban from the site. If somebody is a problem for you, use the report to moderator or report to administrator button on the right of  each  post or PM and we will take care of the problem for you. Your report will remain in the moderator area and the person you  report will never know that you made the report. Most of the reports are made by moderators so it's most likely that a moderator spotted the issue first.

On this site, diversity is welcome. We are all different and it's our differences that make us special. This site is about finding the place that you belong and not about forcing you to  fit into a specific place. We have CSI, SOs, any flavor of non binary including some that don't have names and transsexuals. We welcome all and the ideas they bring with them.

You have nothing to fear here and if there is anything I can help you with, feel free to contact me by PM or email if you don't have the ability to  PM yet.

Christy,
   Don't feel alone. For years I would not allow myself to read anything transgender related for fear of someone 'finding out.' When I was in my late  teens, I stole the only book about transgender issues out of the library so I could read it. 'No one could 'know.' (I returned it in the drop box  at night of course. No one could 'know') Don't feel bad. We all get scared. That's how I know I am awake in the morning. lol

Moni

@Christy82  I am actually a very shy person in real life.  I don't post a lot on here due to this, however, the people on here, especially the moderators, are wonderful.  Post as little or as often as you like and feel comfortable doing.  The more you are around the more comfortable things will get.  My wife has actually got me speaking to real people, in real life, because she meets them and then adds me to the conversation.  I now find it easier to speak to people, but I still won't initiate a conversation.  Now we are working on getting me ready to reveal my real self to the outside world, a difficult task for someone as reserved as me.  Just take it a day at a time.

Hi Christy,
   I'm Jeanette. This is a safe place. I can't say I have been scared to post here. Im my case they can't shut me up.
I want to welcome you here, I want you to come on in, grab a seat and get comfortable. Read the posts. You don't have to say a thing. Just reading those posts you can relate to is a help in itself. If and when you feel like make a comment or two, ask a question or not.  We do want you here.
  I hope to hear more from you eventually but for now just sit back and get to know us through our posts. Join in when you are ready.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Hi Christy.

I was afraid too at first. Luked about, checked different forums. Then I decided to land here. This is a safe place. Moderators do a great job and I have never experienced someone being mean or harassing someone else.

It is ok to be scared. I was scared 10 years ago when I found the name "transgender". I tried to forget myself. But now...my true self needs attention and I need to be myself.

Be scared if that is what you feel. A few post later you will se this is a safe place. Noone will judge you, youcan be yourself here.

Welcome to us!

This is a great site that has answered hundreds of questions I've had.  The internet is a pretty good place to be anonymous. 

The one thing I've learned is, for me, talking about my feelings and thoughts is therapeutic.

I lurked here for a long, long time before I ever posted.  I didn't write my first post until the days following my experience of coming out.  I think what scared me the most was that fact that once I started posting I knew it would all become real.  But after I came out it WAS real.  In living color.  I didn't have to worry about hiding anything ever again.

QuoteThe one thing I've learned is, for me, talking about my feelings and thoughts is therapeutic.

I agree.  I already feel much better since I started posting here and also coming out to my doctor, all in the past week.

I don't see how "Not Posting" on the forum is any different from the many scared, confused newbies that come month after month to my TG Support Group and barely say a word. They come to observe. To Learn. To try to gain some sense of order in a world of emotions that is overwhelming them.

I myself used to be that way. My first ever meeting I was in shock. I barely said a word. The words of the group moderator always stayed with me "All we ask is for you to be there". In time being there grew just as I grew as a person, thanks in a large part to being there.

We all walk at a different pace

Anonymity's a wonderful thing.

I was afraid to post and read others posts for months. When things got really tough for me I posted and people here helped me keep it together.

If I ever feel nervous about posting something or responding to someone else's post, I save the text of what I wrote as a text file and wait a few hours. Then I open it up again, see how I feel about it, and decide whether or not to post it.

Most of the time (as you can probably guess by my post count), I have no issues posting. But there are occasions when I will read back through a thread and read the response I crafted several hours ago, and feel that my response is either inappropriate or no longer relevant based on the responses from other folks.

If there are specific issues you're encountering or reasons why you don't feel comfortable, definitely get in touch. If it's just a generalized fear, I'd suggest taking some time to figure out where that's coming from: Fear of being seen as different among the users here? Fear of someone you know IRL stumbling in here and putting the pieces together about your identity? Fear of mistreatment?

Put your fear of posting aside.  No trolls here.  We are all friends.

You will meet very warm, understanding people that mostly share and fully embrace your concerns and feelings.  This is the forum for your questions; the place to find a sympathetic listener on dark days when you need someone to understand your fears, frustrations and help you move forward.

Welcome!

Steph

Hugs and kisses, join in the fun. Best thing I ever did was finding this site. I hope I have found a few "friends" on here . I put it that way as never expect to meet them in person , Bit of a pond in the way!!!

It took me lots of alcohol to start posting here, and also to start reading about being trans here and elsewhere, and to buy that first set of clothes and makeup online, you aren't the only one.

Looking back, I think I just didn't want accept that I was really transgender. Somehow being someone who does these things only while drunk was more palatable at the time. I even convinced myself that I only had these thoughts when I was drunk. Except I didn't, I just was able to fight them off when I was sober. Now I don't want to fight them off, drunk or sober.