I don't think i'll ever feel like a female until i can produce eggs, have xx chromosomes, and can be fertilized or impregnated by a man. By that same token, i want the first 20+ of my years i wasted being someone else back.

Now that i've had the misfortune of being transgender, i want to be as stealth as i can just so i can be fully accepted as a woman because i don't think i'd ever be accepted as such if people know i'm trans.

I would've liked to have been born a girl, to be raised as a girl, and i've had certain experiences i've had in my life where i wish i would've had such experiences as a girl! Also, idea of having to take hormones and dilate for the rest of my life just doesn't sit well to me.

I identify myself as a woman, not trans. Even though trans is what i am, i don't identify with this life. I want nothing to do with being trans at all.

Medical science is advancing all the time, unfortunately it's going to be another 10 years until something like that is medically possible, and another 20 until doctors are willing to do it, and 20 more for society to catch up!
In the meantime an imminent advancement will allow scientists to create eggs and sperm from skin cells, uterus transplants are in experimental stages for natal women (not going great, but you never know when they'll figure it out), and printing stem cells into a "scaffold" is set to let them make just about any organ from your DNA.
(It's likely this won't all come together for a very long time, but for now the outlook is hopeful, but far away)

In the meantime, we have the next best thing, you shouldn't be worried about dialating for the rest of your life, it seems pretty low maintenance after the first year, but that first year is a pain in the neck (I've been looking at that concerned too, not even started hrt yet) basically after the first year sex can count as dialating, although most seem to do it anyway because it's 15 not unpleasant minutes a week, although I've heard initially it's painful. For now I'm leaning towards it, but I've got a good several years before I'm thinking about it seriously anyway...