Freely available there just send someone to the local pharmacy

Quote from: AnonyMs on December 31, 2016, 01:58:33 AM
Perhaps you could try asking if they can provide it?

They are pretty adamant on no HRT. Chett is paranoid about safety. No HRT for risks of clotting, no heavy pankillers for risk of serotonin syndrome (in my personal case due to a med combination). I suppose they were ok since I never complained of pain, but tomorrow I will tell them. In any case, I was supposed to have a baseline bloodtest after going back home before starting HRT again.

I will see if there's a pharmacy inside seacon square.

Close to two months post-op...

Things are looking better. Swelling is slowly coming down, I can walk for longer periods and I am a bit less dependant on the donut pillow. Dilation was only delayed by two days due to the plane trip and having to recover the diameter.

In the end no depth was lost during the plane trip (managed to keep the time without dilating to 20 hours), and I even have a bit more than the official measurement. I'm on dilator #3 (29 mm) and I have ordered the soul source ones for 35 and 38 mm, in case I want to get closed to what it would take for standard penises / strap-ons).

After so much, it looks none of the perineum hair ended between the labia majora and the entrance. I just have one hair and the point where the labias touch the perineum that it's almost outside and should be easy to zap.

And damn, I can't wait to start doing cardio again. Once the swelling is down and I can ride a bike, it's spinning time. Overal post-op life is pretty annoying until month 3. Too much dilation, too tired, can't get too far away from home and I need to be always calculating to fit the dilation, and not do it very late or I risk falling asleep.

Things had to start getting weird sooner or later...

I'm 12 days away from the 3 months mark, and on saturday I began using the final and biggest dilator. Painful the first time, no issues during the following dilations, so it was pretty much the same as with #2 and #3.

On monday I found bright red blood on the liner, maybe a 1x2cm patch. i had dilated at 6:00 AM and found it much later when I arrived home. I wondered if maybe I had not put enough lube, or I had hurt myself from sneezing with the big one it. I kept carefully checking the liners, but nothing else happened... Until yesterday on thursday.

Having Dilated at 6:00AM, When I got home at 16:00 and peed, the toilet paper came with blood diluted in the urine. It also happened during a second pee, then stopped. I began looking inside to find if there was blood, unsure about if it was coming from the vagina or the urethra, and found tat the urethra was all red, looking a bare muscle and almost looking bulging if I made a "poop effort". I started getting scared about wheter it had torn or something, took some pictures and sent them to Chett to see if this is supposed to look normal.

I began dilating fairly late at 17:30, and after that I found the same blood again after peeing, although less. I decided to skip the bedtime dilation to give it time to heal. After the next morning dilation, blood again. Maybe I should have checked with the paper before peeing, to know where this is coming from.

So I'm not sure if I am hurting myself in some way with the biggest dilator, I have torn something inside, or I have hit my bladder from inside. I usually don't check a lot since I go straight from the toilet to the bidet, so who knows for how long this has been happening. Today I will go to the hospital, since it will be a long time until I can get an appointment with the gynecologist through my GP. Right now I am paranoid checking if it is bleeding again. I can understand blood after dilating, but not that time when it happened 10 hours after dilating...

At 3 months it's time to have your bottom examined. It's very likely you have some proud flesh/granulation as the result the surgery that needs to be treated. That type of tissues injures easily so stepping up a dilator size could be enough to disturb it. This is a pretty normal issues and most of use have it to some degree. Some heal enough that it's not a problem but others like me need several treatment to get it cleaned up. As long as it's only a small spot, it's not a huge problem but it still needs to be checked out.

Treatment involves using silver nitrate stick to treat the problem area. This is done in the office and takes a few minutes every few weeks until you are cleared.

I ended going to the hospital today. They sent the local SRS surgeon to check. Apparently I have a 7-10mm tear at the entrance. I will have to go down a size (back to #3) for a few weeks until it heals properly. And to see if Chettawut can advice something.

Talk to Chettawut ASAP. I was treated for granulation yesterday and afterward asked my surgeon how I should adjust my dilation schedule while healing. I was told not to adjust my dilation's, continue on as scheduled. She said the skin will contract while it heals and you do not want that to happen. I may need additional treatments but I am to continue normal dilation.

I don't know if this applies to a tear or not, but it makes sense that you don't want the skin to contract, it will probably just tear again.

I would just stop with the #4 and keep it in 29 mm width. 4 was not fitting well at all since I began with it in saturday. and was still slightly painful. I should stay on the safe #3 for now. I'm not going to get that thing again. and cause more bleeding.


They say it's nothing serious and everything is healing ok. The bleeding is pretty minor and it should heal on its own if I don't try to stretch it more than it is now. I have sent an updated email to chett, but he may take his time to answer.

Well, this is trickier than I thought.

By saturday I had it controlled, then on sunday morning the wound reopened. I'm having to be extra careful, finger lube everything inside before inserting the dilator, and doing it extra slow. I also cut my fingernails for added safety.

10 days left to cutting dilation to two sessions, although reducing dilation is risky right now. The more it contracts, the higher the risk of reopening the wound while stretching everything again. There is a difference between dilating every 6 hours and every 12.

Chettawut answered... Same thing as the other surgeon. Take it easy, get a break on #3 and lots of lube. He just wanted to know if I had been prescribed an antiseptic in particular.

No bleeding has happened again, although constipation made dilation miserable. Today I decided to go again with #4, and it was surprisingly easy and almost painless. I have seen other people having issues with #4 here, even other girls that were with me in Thailand and I still keep in contact with. This the advice I can recommend to others:

- Don't start with a new dilator in the morning. It will be too tight and it will be painful. It's better to leave it for the evening, 6 hours after the first dilation.

- The day you start a new dilator, do it on a weekend and switch back to three sessions. With less time for your neovagina to close it, it will make things much easier until your body gets used to it

- Relax, relax, relax. What I have found is that the initial ring of muscle is the hardest part of a new dilator. The way I managed to do it was to get the tip pressing against my vagina, and have my hand closer to holding it than doing pressure. I closed my eyes, and I started breathing deep and slow. Little by little, it began to open and enter effortlessly.

- If there's anything that can startle you (like living in a noisy place), consider using earplugs, noise masking (like a marpac dohm) or active noise cancelling headphones. Any interruption can surprise and make you tighten.



Ok, some more general advice from my experience:

- Don't dilate too late. When I started getting too sleepy, I tend to suddenly wake up with a spasm. Pretty painful when you have a dilator in.

- Have water with you. The last thing you want is a cough when dilating

- Make sure you empty both your bladder and rectum before dilating. Nothing worse than peeing yourself while you still have to be in bed for 15 minutes, or a bowel movement moving the dilator (or making it extra painful)

- Consider switching to a high fiber diet: Hard stool is not good during dilation, and can make things very painful due to the shared space between vagina and rectum. I had constipation recently and it was hell.

- Comedies aren't a good idea while dilating. Laughing will also hurt.

That is all I can think off for now...

This will be my last message in this thread. 3 months later, I have reached the point were dilation is less of a chore, and I can go back to work out. A gyno will have a look next week to confirm that everything is ok.


As for the final answer to "Was it worth it?":


No, it was not.


I am not going to have sex. Nor dating. My dysphoria has not changed at all. The results are pretty meh and the technology simply is not there yet. This is closer to a frankenstein monster or something straight of the Human Centipede, and completely fake. I feel like I am amputated rather than having a vagina. It's just a reshaped chopped penis, it will always be. I also lost all libido, sensation and ability to orgasm. Nothing in my life has really improved, I just lost quality of life and added more health issues and concern. There's no point to having SRS if you are not going to have sex and your genital dysphoria is mild. I would have probably been better with an orchiectomy and spent the money in something more useful, instead of 3 months of hell just for nothing. Benefits from SRS that actually apply to me do not outweigh all the negatives.


Well, the only way I can take things now is "Deal with it". Meh. If anybody is going to ask, there will be more therapy for my mental well being. But this is the end of the story.